Difference between revisions of "List of song performances"
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This is the '''list of song performances''' made by the [[characters]] of ''[[Futurama]]'', be they either original performances, covers, or alternative lyrics to existing songs. For the appearances of popular music, see the [[list of popular music appearances]]. | |||
This is | |||
==B== | ==B== | ||
===B-E-N-D-E-R=== | ===B-E-N-D-E-R=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[The Honking]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! | <poem>'''Bender''': B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! | ||
B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! | B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender! | ||
Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER | Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER— | ||
B-E-N-D-E-R Beeender </poem> | B-E-N-D-E-R Beeender</poem> | ||
===Bender is Great=== | ===Bender is Great=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[Love and Rocket]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': Bender is great! Oh, | <poem>'''Bender''': Bender is great! Oh, Bender is great! Bender, Bender, Bender— ''[Is interrupted.]''</poem> | ||
===Blowin' in the Wind=== | ===Blowin' in the Wind=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Blowin' in the Wind}}" by {{w|Bob Dylan}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[The Series Has Landed]]". | ||
===Blue Tail Fly=== | ===Blue Tail Fly=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|Blue Tail Fly}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[Bendin' in the Wind]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': Fry cracked corn, | <poem>'''Bender''': Fry cracked corn, | ||
And I don't care, | And I don't care, | ||
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Take that, you stupid corn!</poem> | Take that, you stupid corn!</poem> | ||
===Bureaucrat Song=== | ===The Bureaucrat Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[LaBarbara Conrad|LaBarbara]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Morgan Proctor]] in | :Performed by [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[LaBarbara Conrad|LaBarbara]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], and [[Morgan Proctor]] in "[[How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back]]". | ||
<poem>'''Hermes''': When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town | <poem>'''Hermes''': When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town | ||
With a foot and a half of water | |||
Everyone was alright, but I cried all night | Everyone was alright, but I cried all night | ||
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order | It blew my alphabet blocks out of order | ||
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Born to be all obsessive and snotty | Born to be all obsessive and snotty | ||
I made my friends and relations file long applications | I made my friends and relations file long applications | ||
To get into my tenth birthday party. | To get into my tenth [[birthday]] party. | ||
'''LaBarbara''': But something changed when my man turned pro. | '''LaBarbara''': But something changed when my man turned pro. | ||
'''Hermes''': I was sorting but I wasn't smilin' | '''Hermes''': I was sorting but I wasn't smilin' | ||
'''LaBarbara''': He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks | '''LaBarbara''': He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks | ||
'''Hermes''': It's supposed to be about the filin'! | '''Hermes''': It's supposed to be about the filin'! | ||
People, | People, | ||
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Even if it's not a good idea | Even if it's not a good idea | ||
Zoidberg! | Zoidberg! | ||
'''Zoidberg''': They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon | ||
'''Farnsworth''': They poopooed my electric frankfurter | '''Professor Farnsworth''': They poopooed my electric frankfurter | ||
'''Leela''': They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye | '''Leela''': They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye | ||
'''Bender''': [deadpan] I am Bender, please insert girder. | '''Bender''': [deadpan] I am Bender, please insert girder. | ||
'''Hermes''': Everybody sing, Jamaica! | '''Hermes''': Everybody sing, Jamaica! | ||
'''All''': Jamaica! | '''All''': Jamaica! | ||
'''Hermes''': Just the bureaucrats | '''Hermes''': Just the bureaucrats — Jamaica! | ||
'''Bureaucrats''': Jamaica! | '''Bureaucrats''': Jamaica! | ||
'''Hermes''': The grade nineteens! | '''Hermes''': The grade nineteens! | ||
'''Morgan Proctor''': . | '''Morgan Proctor''': ''[Indifferent.]'' Jamaica. | ||
'''Hermes''': Sing me home, | '''Hermes''': Sing me home, | ||
When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love | When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love | ||
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==D== | ==D== | ||
===Daisy Bell=== | ===Daisy Bell=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Daisy Bell}}" by {{w|Harry Dacre}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[Love and Rocket]]". | ||
===Danny Boy=== | ===Danny Boy=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Danny Boy}}" by {{w|Frederick Weatherly}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]] in | :Performed by [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]] in "[[A Pharaoh to Remember]]". | ||
===Don't Mess with Earth=== | ===Don't Mess with Earth=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Head of the ACLU]] in | :Performed by the [[Head of the ACLU]] in "[[A Taste of Freedom]]". | ||
<poem>'''Head of the ACLU''': You can eat my dog, | <poem>'''Head of the ACLU''': You can eat my dog, | ||
You can eat my truck, | You can eat my truck, | ||
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Let me say it again... | Let me say it again... | ||
Don't mess with Earth! | Don't mess with Earth! | ||
Don't-mess-with-Earth. | |||
Kill Zoidberg!</poem> | Kill Zoidberg!</poem> | ||
===Don't Worry, Bee Happy=== | ===Don't Worry, Bee Happy=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|Don't Worry, Be Happy}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]] and Bee in | :Performed by [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]] and Bee in "[[The Sting]]". | ||
<poem>'''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' In every life, we have some trouble. | <poem>'''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' In every life, we have some trouble. | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' But when you worry you make it double. | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' But when you worry you make it double. | ||
'''Bender/Amy''': Don't worry! Bee happy! ''[Bender | '''Bender/Amy''': Don't worry! Bee happy! ''[Bender imitates bongos.]'' | ||
'''Farnsworth''': The landlords say your rent is late. | '''Professor Farnsworth''': The landlords say your rent is late. | ||
'''Hermes''': You may have to litigate. | '''Hermes''': You may have to litigate. | ||
'''Farnsworth/Hermes/Bender''': Don't worry! ''[Bender opens his chest and releases a bee, which stings | '''Professor Farnsworth/Hermes/Bender''': Don't worry! ''[Bender opens his chest and releases a bee, which stings the Professor in the head.]'' | ||
'''Bee''': Bee... | '''Bee''': Bee... | ||
'''Farnsworth''': Happy! ''[ | '''Professor Farnsworth''': Happy! ''[He swells up and explodes. Dr. Zoidberg appears on a stage, his name displayed behind him in neon lights.]'' | ||
'''Zoidberg''': Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ladies vomit when I smile. But does Zoidberg worry? Feh, you wish! ''[The bee stings him]'' | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ladies vomit when I smile. But does Zoidberg worry? Feh, you wish! ''[The bee stings him.]'' | ||
'''Bee''': Bee... | '''Bee''': Bee... | ||
'''Zoidberg''': Happy! ''[He explodes. Hermes skates into view, carrying Amy]'' | '''Zoidberg''': Happy! ''[He explodes. Hermes skates into view, carrying Amy.]'' | ||
'''Hermes''': ''[spoken]'' Don't worry now, Amy! ''[The bee stings Hermes, who explodes. Amy skates up to the camera]'' | '''Hermes''': ''[spoken]'' Don't worry now, Amy! ''[The bee stings Hermes, who explodes. Amy skates up to the camera.]'' | ||
'''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' Okay, I'm happy! ''[She is stung and explodes, revealing Bender standing on the table]'' | '''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' Okay, I'm happy! ''[She is stung and explodes, revealing Bender standing on the table.]'' | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Take us home, Bender! Don't worry! ''[The bee stings him]'' | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Take us home, Bender! Don't worry! ''[The bee stings him.]'' | ||
'''Bee''': Bee... | '''Bee''': Bee... | ||
'''Bender''': Happy! ''[Bender explodes into a firework display. When the smoke clears, everyone is sitting around as if nothing had happened]'' | '''Bender''': Happy! ''[Bender explodes into a firework display. When the smoke clears, everyone is sitting around as if nothing had happened.]'' | ||
'''Leela''': ''[short pause, spoken]'' Uh, were you just singing? | '''Leela''': ''[short pause, spoken]'' Uh, were you just singing? | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.</poem> | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.</poem> | ||
==E== | ==E== | ||
===Elves' Xmas Song=== | ===The Elves' Xmas Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[ | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Robot Santa Claus]], and [[Santa Claus' aides|his aides]] (the [[Neptunian]] elves) in "[[A Tale of Two Santas]]". | ||
<poem>'''Neptunian | <poem>'''Neptunian elves''': We are free and fairly sober | ||
With so many toys to build | With so many toys to build | ||
The machines are kind of tricky | The machines are kind of tricky | ||
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But we gladly work for nothing | But we gladly work for nothing | ||
'''Fry''': Which is good because we don't intend to pay | '''Fry''': Which is good because we don't intend to pay | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': The elves are back to work today | ||
Hooray! | Hooray! | ||
We have just a couple hours | We have just a couple hours | ||
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You can make the job go quicker | You can make the job go quicker | ||
If you turn up the controls to super speed | If you turn up the controls to super speed | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': It's back to work on Xmas Eve | ||
Hooray. | Hooray. | ||
'''Leela''': And though you're cold and sore and ugly | '''Leela''': And though you're cold and sore and ugly | ||
Your pride will mask the pain | Your pride will mask the pain | ||
'''Fry''': Let my happy smile warm your hearts | '''Fry''': Let my happy smile warm your hearts | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elf''': There's a toy lodged in my brain | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': We are getting awfully tired | ||
And we can't work any faster | And we can't work any faster | ||
And we're very, very sorry | And we're very, very sorry | ||
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That Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk?! | That Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk?! | ||
Then shut your yaps and back to work! | Then shut your yaps and back to work! | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Now it's very nearly Xmas | ||
And we've done the best we could | And we've done the best we could | ||
'''Fry''': These toy soldiers are poorly painted | '''Fry''': These toy soldiers are poorly painted | ||
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'''Robot Santa''': If I wasn't stuck here frozen | '''Robot Santa''': If I wasn't stuck here frozen | ||
I'd harpoon you in the eye | I'd harpoon you in the eye | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Now it's back into our tenements | ||
To drown ourselves in rye | To drown ourselves in rye | ||
'''Leela''': You did the best you could I guess | '''Leela''': You did the best you could I guess | ||
And some of these gorillas are OK | And some of these gorillas are OK | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': HOORAY! (We're adequate!) | ||
'''All''': The elves have rescued Xmas | '''All''': The elves have rescued Xmas Day | ||
Hooray!</poem> | Hooray!</poem> | ||
==F== | ==F== | ||
===Frog Went A-Courting=== | ===Frog Went A-Courting=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|Frog Went A-Courting}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[Bendin' in the Wind]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender:''' Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh, uh-huh | <poem>'''Bender:''' Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh, uh-huh | ||
Well, Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, | Well, Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, | ||
Blah, blah, blah, something, Bender is great! | Blah, blah, blah, something, Bender is great! | ||
Froggy went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh | Froggy went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh—</poem> | ||
===The Fourth Day of Xmas=== | ===The Fourth Day of Xmas=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|Twelve Days of Christmas}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Tinny Tim]] and two robots in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Tinny Tim]] and two other robots in "[[Xmas Story]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady | <poem>'''Bender''': On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady | ||
'''Robot 1''': Four family photos | '''Robot 1''': Four family photos | ||
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===Funkytown=== | ===Funkytown=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Funkytown}}" by {{w|Lipps Inc}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Morbo]] in | :Performed by [[Morbo]] in "[[Amazon Women in the Mood]]". | ||
==G== | ==G== | ||
===Greenland Whale Fisheries=== | ===Greenland Whale Fisheries=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of "{{w|Greenland Whale Fisheries}}". | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Greenland Whale Fisheries}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': Oh, Greenland is a barren land | <poem>'''Bender''': Oh, Greenland is a barren land | ||
A land that bears no green! | A land that bears no green! | ||
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And the whale fishies blow.</poem> | And the whale fishies blow.</poem> | ||
===Grunka Lunka Songs=== | ===The Grunka Lunka Songs=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Grunka Lunkas]] in | :Performed by [[Grunka Lunkas]] in "[[Fry and the Slurm Factory]]". | ||
<poem>'''Grunka Lunkas''': Grunka Lunka dunkety doo | <poem>'''Grunka Lunkas''': Grunka Lunka dunkety doo | ||
We've got a friendly warning for you | We've got a friendly warning for you | ||
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''[break]'' | ''[break]'' | ||
Grunka Lunka dunkety darmedguards | Grunka Lunka dunkety darmedguards | ||
''[ | ''[interruption]''</poem> | ||
Hard ass | Hard ass | ||
==H== | ==H== | ||
===Happy Birthday=== | ===Happy Birthday=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' parodying "{{w|Happy Birthday to You}}". | ||
:Performed by the cast in | :Performed by the cast in "[[I Second that Emotion]]" and by [[Elzar]] in "[[The Late Philip J. Fry]]". | ||
<poem>'''All:''' What day is today? | <poem>'''All:''' What day is today? | ||
It's [name here]'s birthday! | It's [name here]'s birthday! | ||
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==I== | ==I== | ||
===I Want My Hands Back=== | ===I Want My Hands Back=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Robot Devil]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Turanga Leela]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]] and [[Preacherbot]] in | :Performed by the [[Robot Devil]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Turanga Leela]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]] and [[Preacherbot]] in "[[The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings]]". | ||
:This song occurs just after | :This song occurs just after [[Leela: Orphan of the Stars|the opera]]. | ||
:This particular song was nominated for an Emmy. | :This particular song was nominated for an [[Emmy]]. | ||
<poem>'''Robot Devil''': ''[talking]'' Stupider? Pah! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! ''[He kicks the Holo-Robot Devil actor off the stage. The audience gasps. Fry stops playing and the holo-scene fades, leaving the Holo-Fry actor standing on the stage in his underpants.]'' Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry. | <poem>'''Robot Devil''': ''[talking]'' Stupider? Pah! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! ''[He kicks the [[Holophonor|Holo]]-Robot Devil actor off the stage. The audience gasps. Fry stops playing and the holo-scene fades, leaving the Holo-Fry actor standing on the stage in his underpants.]'' Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry. | ||
'''Fry''': ''[talking]'' Look, what do you want? | '''Fry''': ''[talking]'' Look, what do you want? | ||
'''Robot Devil''': I want my hands back. | '''Robot Devil''': I want my hands back. | ||
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'''Robot Devil''': Very well, | '''Robot Devil''': Very well, | ||
Then I'll take what I want from Leela. | Then I'll take what I want from Leela. | ||
''[The spotlight moves from the stage to Leela. Robot Devil extends his arms and pulls her from her seat onto the stage.]'' | ''[The spotlight moves from the stage to Leela. The Robot Devil extends his arms and pulls her from her seat onto the stage.]'' | ||
'''Leela''': ''[talking]'' Whoa! | '''Leela''': ''[talking]'' Whoa! | ||
'''Robot Devil''': Leela has promised me her hand. | '''Robot Devil''': Leela has promised me her hand. | ||
Line 256: | Line 252: | ||
Effective though just a bit garish, | Effective though just a bit garish, | ||
In return without shedding a tear, | In return without shedding a tear, | ||
I agreed that I'd give him my hand | I agreed that I'd give him my hand— | ||
'''Robot Devil''': In marriage! | '''Robot Devil''': In marriage! | ||
'''Leela''': ''[talking]'' What? | '''Leela''': ''[talking]'' What? | ||
'''Robot Devil''': You'd give me your hand in marriage. | '''Robot Devil''': You'd give me your hand in marriage. | ||
''[He gets down on one knee. The audience watches. Farnsworth watches through some opera glasses which are just as thick as his normal ones.]'' | ''[He gets down on one knee. The audience watches. Professor Farnsworth watches through some opera glasses which are just as thick as his normal ones.]'' | ||
'''Hermes''': Is this really happening or just being staged? | '''Hermes''': Is this really happening or just being staged? | ||
'''Farnsworth''': It can't be real | '''Professor Farnsworth''': It can't be real— | ||
'''Amy''': Not if Leela is engaged. | '''Amy''': Not if Leela is engaged. | ||
'''Leela''': That isn't what I meant, | '''Leela''': That isn't what I meant, | ||
Line 271: | Line 267: | ||
'''Leela and Robot Devil''': In marriage. | '''Leela and Robot Devil''': In marriage. | ||
''[In the audience, Bender reads from a dictionary.]'' | ''[In the audience, Bender reads from a dictionary.]'' | ||
'''Bender''': The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention, | '''Bender''': "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention", | ||
Now that is "irony". | Now that is "irony". | ||
''[The Robot Devil pulls Preacherbot out of his seat and onto the stage.]'' | ''[The Robot Devil pulls Preacherbot out of his seat and onto the stage.]'' | ||
Line 294: | Line 290: | ||
'''Nixon''': ''[hooting]'' Arooo! | '''Nixon''': ''[hooting]'' Arooo! | ||
'''Zapp''': ''[talking]'' Bray-vo! Enn-core! | '''Zapp''': ''[talking]'' Bray-vo! Enn-core! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving. | '''Professor Farnsworth''': I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving. | ||
'''Zoidberg''': I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing! | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing! | ||
''[Leela struggles to get out of the Robot Devil's hold as Fry gazes at his hands.]'' | ''[Leela struggles to get out of the Robot Devil's hold as Fry gazes at his hands.]'' | ||
'''Preacherbot''': By the power vested in me, | '''Preacherbot''': By the power vested in me, | ||
By the state of New New York | By the state of [[New New York]]— | ||
'''Fry''': ''[talking]'' No! ''[He pushes the Robot Devil away from Leela.]'' Stop! Take my hands! | '''Fry''': ''[talking]'' No! ''[He pushes the Robot Devil away from Leela.]'' Stop! Take my hands! | ||
''[singing]'' You evil, metal dork!</poem> | ''[singing]'' You evil, metal dork!</poem> | ||
===I Love My Mommy=== | ===I Love My Mommy=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] and [[ | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] and the [[comrade greeting card]] in "[[Mother's Day]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': You created me, Mom, | <poem>'''Bender''': You created me, [[Mom]], | ||
So I guess you're to blame, | So I guess you're to blame, | ||
For the love that I feel, | For the love that I feel, | ||
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You're as tender as corned beef, | You're as tender as corned beef, | ||
And warm as pastrami... | And warm as pastrami... | ||
''' | '''Comrade greeting card''': [short, cute electronic tune] I love my Mommy!</poem> | ||
===I'll Shoot Her With My Ray Gun=== | ===I'll Shoot Her With My Ray Gun=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[The Series Has Landed]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': Well I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes. | <poem>'''Bender''': Well, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes. | ||
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes. | Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes. | ||
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun, | Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun | ||
Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun | |||
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, when she comes. | Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, when she comes. | ||
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world, | I'll be blasting all the humans in the world, | ||
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===In the Year 252525=== | ===In the Year 252525=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|In the Year 2525}}". | ||
:Performed in | :Performed by ? in "[[The Late Philip J. Fry]]". | ||
<poem>In the year one-oh-five-one-oh-five, | <poem>In the year one-oh-five-one-oh-five, | ||
If man is still alive, | If man is still alive, | ||
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A rusty sword for practicing proctology! | A rusty sword for practicing proctology! | ||
In a future year that ends with a twenty, | In a future year that ends with a twenty, | ||
A shlubby merman's gonna try to get chummy. | A shlubby [[merman]]'s gonna try to get chummy. | ||
He may look like a watery wimp, | He may look like a watery wimp, | ||
When in fact he's a [[ | When in fact he's a [[bloodthirsty shrimp]]! | ||
In the year one million and a half, | In the year one million and a half, | ||
[[Human]]kind is enslaved by [[giraffe]]. | |||
Man must pay for all his misdeeds, | Man must pay for all his misdeeds, | ||
When the treetops are stripped of their leaves! | When the treetops are stripped of their leaves! | ||
Line 349: | Line 346: | ||
==K== | ==K== | ||
===The Kwanzaa Rap=== | ===The Kwanzaa Rap=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[ | :Performed by [[Kwanzaa-bot]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[LaBarbara Conrad|LaBarbara]], [[Barbados Slim]], [[Ethan "Bubblegum" Tate|Bubblegum]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Dwight Conrad|Dwight]], and the [[Planet Express crew]] in "[[The Futurama Holiday Spectacular]]". | ||
<poem>'''Hermes''': | <poem>'''Hermes''': I'm glad you all could be here with my family. [[Kwanzaa]] traditions are quite ancient, dating back over one thousand years. | ||
'''Fry''': ''Woah.'' | '''Fry''': ''Woah.'' | ||
'''Zoidberg''': | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': If only someone could tell us ''more'' about these traditions. | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': ''[He breaks through the wall.] Oh, yeah!'' | ||
'''Dwight''': ''Hey, Kool-Aid's here!'' | '''Dwight''': ''Hey, Kool-Aid's here!'' | ||
'''LaBarbara''': ''No, child, that's not a made-up character. It's | '''LaBarbara''': ''No, child, that's not a made-up character. It's Kwanzaa-bot.'' | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': ''And I'mma tell y'all how we celebrate Kwanzaa. Zoidberg, lay down a beat!'' | ||
'''Zoidberg''': ''How 'bout I just lay down?'' | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': ''How 'bout I just lay down?'' | ||
''[Hermes and LaBarbara provide backup on kalimba and drum respectively.]'' | ''[Hermes and LaBarbara provide backup on kalimba and drum respectively.]'' | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa! | ||
So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya! | So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya! | ||
'''LaBarbara''': Kujichagulia... | '''LaBarbara''': Kujichagulia... | ||
'''Barbados Slim and Bubblegum''': And umoja... | '''Barbados Slim and Bubblegum''': And umoja... | ||
'''Hermes''': And the rest. | '''Hermes''': And the rest. | ||
'''Planet Express | '''Planet Express crew''': ''Now'' we get it! | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': Sit back down! There's gonna be a test. | ||
My favorite's ujamaa. | My favorite's ujamaa. | ||
'''Bubblegum''': Cooperative economics. | '''Bubblegum''': Cooperative economics. | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics! | ||
Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity. | Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity. | ||
'''Barbados Slim''': Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities. | '''Barbados Slim''': Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities. | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': I think there's one called "nia," but I don't speak Swahili, | ||
Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy? | Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy? | ||
'''Farnsworth''': That's from Xmas and | '''Professor Farnsworth''': That's from [[Xmas]] and [[Robanukah]], you plagiarizing lout! | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out. | ||
But before I go, the most important thing... | But before I go, the most important thing... | ||
'''Dwight''': What's that, Black Santa? | '''Dwight''': What's that, Black Santa? | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night. | ||
But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white. | But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white. | ||
'''Planet Express | '''Planet Express crew''': They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.</poem> | ||
==L== | ==L== | ||
===Leela=== | ===Leela=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Lola (song)|Lola}}" by {{w|The Kinks}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Zapp Brannigan]] in | :Performed by [[Zapp Brannigan|Zapp]] in "[[Amazon Women in the Mood]]". | ||
:In Zapp's performance, the character of the original song (Lola) is exchanged with Leela. | :In Zapp's performance, the character of the original song (Lola) is exchanged with Leela. | ||
===Leela: Orphan of the Stars=== | ===Leela: Orphan of the Stars=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by several opera singers in | :Performed by several opera singers in "[[The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings]]". | ||
<poem>''["Scene 1. Wherein Leela Is Found At The Orphanarium"]'' | <poem>''["Scene 1. Wherein Leela Is Found At The Orphanarium"]'' | ||
'''Holo-Vogel''': Who is this one-eyed female baby Moses, | '''[[Holophonor|Holo]]-Vogel''': Who is this one-eyed female baby Moses, | ||
With courage in her female baby smile? | With courage in her female baby smile? | ||
'''Holo-Orphans''': A saviour from the stars, | '''Holo-Orphans''': A saviour from the stars, | ||
Line 408: | Line 405: | ||
Goodbye! | Goodbye! | ||
''[Intermission]'' | ''[Intermission]'' | ||
''[Another Scene: Holo-Fry is seen together in Robot Hell with Holo-Robot Devil.]'' | ''[Another Scene: Holo-Fry is seen together in Robot Hell with the Holo-Robot Devil.]'' | ||
'''Holo-Fry''': To win Leela's heart with the holophonor's art, | '''Holo-Fry''': To win Leela's heart with the holophonor's art, | ||
I need hands of transcendental quickness. | I need hands of transcendental quickness. | ||
'''Holo-Robot Devil''': Well I don't see any danger, | '''Holo-Robot Devil''': Well, I don't see any danger, | ||
In gambling with a stranger, | In gambling with a stranger, | ||
For my head is of a most amazing thickness. | For my head is of a most amazing thickness. | ||
Line 418: | Line 415: | ||
I'm stupider than you, | I'm stupider than you, | ||
I'm stupider than you in every way.</poem> | I'm stupider than you in every way.</poem> | ||
:'' | :''For the song afterwards, see "[[I Want My Hands Back]]".'' | ||
==M== | ==M== | ||
===My Broken Friend=== | ===My Broken Friend=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] and [[Beck's head|Beck]] in "[[Bendin' in the Wind]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': People say my broken friend is useless. | <poem>'''Bender''': People say my broken friend is useless. | ||
But I say his mind is free. | But I say his mind is free. | ||
There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be. | There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be. | ||
'''Beck''': Kick it! | '''Beck''': Kick it! | ||
'''Bender''': Well he could make a good hat rack, | '''Bender''': Well, he could make a good hat rack, | ||
'''Beck''': He only has to stand there. | '''Beck''': He only has to stand there. | ||
'''Bender''': Or a cheap doorstop, | '''Bender''': Or a cheap doorstop, | ||
Line 462: | Line 459: | ||
I'm telling you, my broken friend... | I'm telling you, my broken friend... | ||
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care! | Put your hands in the air like you just don't care! | ||
I'm telling you my broken friend | I'm telling you, my broken friend | ||
Can do most anything! | Can do most anything! | ||
Yeah!</poem> | Yeah!</poem> | ||
Line 468: | Line 465: | ||
==N== | ==N== | ||
===The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 1=== | ===The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 1=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by ? in | :Performed by ? in "[[Less than Hero]]". | ||
<poem>Go, go, go New Justice Team | <poem>Go, go, go, [[New Justice Team]] | ||
Go team, | Go, team; go, team; team, team, team | ||
Who's that newest Justice Team | Who's that newest Justice Team | ||
The New Justice Team | The New Justice Team | ||
Captain Yesterday is fast | [[Captain Yesterday]] is fast | ||
Also he is from the past | Also he is from the past | ||
Not just fast but from the past | Not just fast but from the past | ||
Captain Yesterday! | Captain Yesterday! | ||
[[Superking]] has all the powers of a [[king]] | |||
Plus all the power of Superman, | Plus all the power of Superman, | ||
Also he's a robot | Also he's a robot | ||
Ain't it cool? | Ain't it cool? Superking, you rule! | ||
[[Clobberella]] beats you up | |||
Clobberella beats you up | |||
Who does she beat up? You! | Who does she beat up? You! | ||
Clobberella! | |||
Citizens, never fear | Citizens, never fear | ||
Crazy do-good freaks are here | Crazy do-good freaks are here | ||
Until they run out of steam... | Until they run out of steam... | ||
Miracle cream, miracle cream | [[Miracle cream]], miracle cream | ||
Gives the power to the team | Gives the power to the team | ||
Its effects wear off for sure | Its effects wear off for sure | ||
Line 496: | Line 493: | ||
===The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 2=== | ===The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 2=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by ? in | :Performed by ? in "[[Less than Hero]]". | ||
<poem>Go, go, go New Justice Team | <poem>Go, go, go, [[New Justice Team]] | ||
Fighting justice is their quest | Fighting justice is their quest | ||
[[Superking]], [[Clobberella]] | |||
And all the rest | And all the rest | ||
Here's to you new Justice Team | Here's to you new Justice Team | ||
Line 509: | Line 506: | ||
==O== | ==O== | ||
=== | ===The opening theme for ''Into the Wild Green Yonder''=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' in the style of {{w|Frank Sinatra}}. | ||
: | :Performed by [[Seth MacFarlane]] in ''[[Into the Wild Green Yonder]]''. | ||
<poem>''' | <poem>'''MacFarlane''': You and I will be reborn | ||
In a future place and time | In a future place and time | ||
If everything our Hindu brethren say is true | If everything our Hindu brethren say is true | ||
Line 520: | Line 517: | ||
"That was then | "That was then | ||
This is too" | This is too" | ||
'''Heads | '''Heads''': Doo doo doo-doody doo doo da-doo doodoo | ||
''' | '''MacFarlane''': 'Cause we'll still find | ||
The happenin' hot spots | The happenin' hot spots | ||
We'll still cruise | We'll still cruise | ||
Line 531: | Line 528: | ||
Who control ev'rything we do | Who control ev'rything we do | ||
Will make us think that was then | Will make us think that was then | ||
And three thousand and ten | And [[3010|three thousand and ten]] | ||
Is exactly the same as nineteen sixty two | Is exactly the same as [[1962|nineteen sixty two]] | ||
Don't expect any changes my friend | Don't expect any changes, my friend | ||
That was then | That was then | ||
And this is ''too | And this is ''too—''!</poem> | ||
==P== | ==P== | ||
===Pharaoh's Funeral Song=== | ===Pharaoh's Funeral Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' parodying "{{w|Daniel (song)|Daniel}}", "{{w|Bennie and the Jets}}", and "{{w|Crocodile Rock}}". | ||
:Performed by Elton John | :Performed by {{w|Elton John}} lookalike in "[[A Pharaoh to Remember]]". | ||
<poem>'''Elton John''': Pharaoh my god-king | <poem>'''Elton John''': Pharaoh, my god-king | ||
you are cold and deceased, | you are cold and deceased, | ||
Are you still half insane? | Are you still half insane? | ||
''[pause]'' | ''[pause]'' | ||
Ph-Ph-Ph- | Ph-Ph-Ph-Pharaoh and his pets | ||
''[pause]'' | ''[pause]'' | ||
But the years went by and Pharaoh died, | But the years went by and Pharaoh died, | ||
Suzy went and joined him in the afterlife.</poem> | Suzy went and joined him in the afterlife.</poem> | ||
=== | ===The Poppler Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|The Sailor's Hornpipe}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]] and [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]] and [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[The Problem with Popplers]]". | ||
<poem>'''Fry & Bender''': Pop a Poppler in your mouth, | <poem>'''Fry & Bender''': Pop a [[Poppler]] in your mouth, | ||
When you come to Fishy Joe's, | When you come to [[Fishy Joe]]'s, | ||
What they're made of is a mystery, | What they're made of is a mystery, | ||
Where they come from, no one knows. | Where they come from, no one knows. | ||
Line 564: | Line 561: | ||
==R== | ==R== | ||
===The Real Slim Shady=== | ===The Real Slim Shady=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|The Real Slim Shady}}" by {{w|Eminem}}. | ||
:Performed by [[William Shatner]] in | :Performed by [[William Shatner]] in "[[Where No Fan Has Gone Before]]", though spoken. | ||
<poem>'''Shatner''': [spoken] I'm Slim Shady. Yes, I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim | <poem>'''Shatner''': [spoken] I'm Slim Shady. Yes, I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating. So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up. | ||
'''Walter | '''[[Walter Koenig]]''': How can you do a spoken word version of a rap song? | ||
'''Melllvar''': He found a way.</poem> | '''[[Melllvar]]''': He found a way.</poem> | ||
===The Robanukah Song=== | ===The Robanukah Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender]], [[Hermes]], [[Amy]] , [[Leela]] | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], the [[Planet Express crew]], [[Ruth and Esther|Ruth, and Esther]] in "[[The Futurama Holiday Spectacular]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Woah, woah, woah! How come we get off for every dumb human holiday but not for robot holidays? | <poem>'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Woah, woah, woah! How come we get off for every dumb human holiday but not for robot holidays? | ||
'''Leela''': ''[spoken]'' Oh, Lord, not Robanukah. | '''Leela''': ''[spoken]'' Oh, Lord, not [[Robanukah]]. | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' I'm talkin' about Robanukah | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' I'm talkin' about Robanukah! The holiest six and a half weeks in the robot calendar! | ||
'''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' Pfft! That's just a fake holiday you make up every year to get out of work | '''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' Pfft! That's just a fake holiday you make up every year to get out of work! | ||
'''Fry''': ''[spoken]'' Yeah, if it's real, how come there's no song that explains how you celebrate it? | '''Fry''': ''[spoken]'' Yeah, if it's real, how come there's no song that explains how you celebrate it? | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Because there is! Hit it! | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Because there is! Hit it! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': ''[spoken]'' Hit what? | '''Professor Farnsworth''': ''[spoken]'' Hit ''what''? | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads! | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads! | ||
''[Fry gets out a [[holophonor]]; the Professor, a fiddle; and Dr. Zoidberg, an accordion, and start playing klezmer music.]'' | |||
'''Bender''': Robanukah may sound as if it's Jewish, | '''Bender''': Robanukah may sound as if it's Jewish, | ||
But its ancient sounding customs are exceptionally newish. | But its ancient sounding customs are exceptionally newish. | ||
So take a hearty swallow from your robo-kiddish cup, | So take a hearty swallow from your robo-kiddish cup, | ||
Which will give me time to quickly make them up. | Which will give me time to quickly make them up. | ||
''[Amy burps.]'' | |||
'''Hermes''': Do you spin a dreidel made from clay? | '''Hermes''': Do you spin a dreidel made from clay? | ||
'''Bender''': Mine is called a droidel and it's rigged to make you pay. | '''Bender''': Mine is called a [[droidel]] and it's rigged to make you pay. | ||
'''Amy''': Do you eat these yummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins? | '''Amy''': Do you eat these yummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins? | ||
'''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Better! | '''Bender''': ''[spoken]'' Better! | ||
We got | We got [[fembot]]s with illegal five-speed groins! | ||
''[spoken]'' Shalom, Ruth and Esther! | ''[spoken]'' Shalom, Ruth and Esther! | ||
'''Ruth''': ''[spoken]'' Why with the music so loud? | '''Ruth''': ''[spoken]'' Why with the music so loud? | ||
'''Esther''': ''[spoken]'' Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here? | '''Esther''': ''[spoken]'' Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here? | ||
'''Bender''': But by far the most important thing is oil. | '''Bender''': But by far the most important thing is [[Petroleum oil|oil]]. | ||
'''Leela''': To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil? | '''Leela''': To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil? | ||
'''Bender''': No, we pour the holy lubricant out from the sacred vessel | '''Bender''': No, we pour the holy lubricant out from the sacred vessel | ||
Into this blessed pit so they can wrestle. | Into this blessed pit so they can wrestle. | ||
'''Planet Express | '''Planet Express crew''': The extra made-up touch that makes Robanukah so special | ||
Is the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.</poem> | Is the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.</poem> | ||
===Robot Hell=== | ===Robot Hell=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Robot Devil]], [[Beastie Boys]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]] and [[Turanga Leela|Leela]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], the [[Robot Devil]], the [[Beastie Boys]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], and [[Turanga Leela|Leela]] in "[[Hell is Other Robots]]". | ||
<poem>'''Robot Devil''': Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em. We'll find ways to simulate that smell | <poem>'''Robot Devil''': Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em. We'll find ways to simulate that smell | ||
What a sorry fella! Rolled up and smoked like a panatella, | What a sorry fella! Rolled up and smoked like a panatella, | ||
Here on Level One of Robot Hell! | Here on Level One of [[Robot Hell]]! | ||
'''Robot Devil''': Gambling's wrong and so is cheating; so is forging phony I.O.U's | '''Robot Devil''': Gambling's wrong and so is cheating; so is forging phony I.O.U's | ||
Let's let lady luck decide what type of torture's justified | Let's let lady luck decide what type of torture's justified | ||
I'm pit boss here on Level Two! | I'm pit boss here on Level Two! | ||
Ooh, deep fried robot! | Ooh, deep-fried robot! | ||
'''Bender''': Just tell me why! | '''Bender''': Just tell me why! | ||
'''Robot Devil''': Please read this 55 page warrant. | '''Robot Devil''': Please read this 55-page warrant. | ||
'''Bender''': There must be robots worse than I | '''Bender''': There must be robots worse than I | ||
'''Robot Devil''': We checked around, there really aren't. | '''Robot Devil''': We checked around, there really aren't. | ||
Line 622: | Line 619: | ||
'''Robot Devil''': Please stop sinning while I'm singing. | '''Robot Devil''': Please stop sinning while I'm singing. | ||
Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive. | Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive. | ||
'''Beastie Boys''': Hey Bender, gonna make some noise | '''Beastie Boys''': Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise | ||
With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys | With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys | ||
That's what ya, what ya, what ya get on Level Five! | That's what ya, what ya, what ya get on Level Five! | ||
Line 630: | Line 627: | ||
'''Leela''': It's us who tempted him to sin. | '''Leela''': It's us who tempted him to sin. | ||
'''Fry''': Maybe he's back at the motel. | '''Fry''': Maybe he's back at the motel. | ||
'''Leela''': Come on Fry now don't be scared | '''Leela''': Come on, Fry, now don't be scared | ||
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared | I'm sure at least one of us will be spared | ||
So just sit back and enjoy the ride. | So just sit back and enjoy the ride. | ||
'''Fry''': My ass has blisters from the slide! | '''Fry''': My ass has blisters from the slide! | ||
'''Robot Devil''': Fencing | '''Robot Devil''': Fencing diamonds | ||
Fixing cockfights | |||
Publishing indecent magazines | Publishing indecent magazines | ||
You'll pay for every crime | You'll pay for every crime | ||
Line 644: | Line 642: | ||
==S== | ==S== | ||
===Santa Claus Is Gunning You | ===Santa Claus Is Gunning You Down=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' parodying "{{w|Santa Claus Is Coming to Town}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] and [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]] in | :Performed by [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], and [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]] in "[[Xmas Story]]". | ||
<poem>'''Amy''': He knows when you are sleeping, | <poem>'''Amy''': He knows when you are sleeping, | ||
'''Farnsworth''': He knows when you're on the can, | '''Professor Farnsworth''': He knows when you're on the can, | ||
'''Leela''': He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan. | '''Leela''': He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan. | ||
'''Zoidberg''': Oh, | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': Oh, | ||
'''Hermes''': You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move, | '''Hermes''': You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move, | ||
'''Bender''': You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude. | '''Bender''': You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude. | ||
'''Fry''': Santa Claus is gunning you down! </poem> | '''Fry''': Santa Claus is gunning you down!</poem> | ||
===Shut Up and Love Me=== | ===Shut Up and Love Me=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Wailing Fungus]] in | :Performed by [[Wailing Fungus]] in "[[Proposition Infinity]]". | ||
:Heard during the closing credits. In the final scene, only the refrain is sung. | :Heard during the closing credits. In the final scene, only the refrain is sung. | ||
:It was number 12 on the charts in [[3010]]. | :It was number 12 on the charts in [[3010]]. | ||
Line 669: | Line 667: | ||
'''Chorus''': Shut up and love me! Shut up and love me!</poem> | '''Chorus''': Shut up and love me! Shut up and love me!</poem> | ||
===Single Female Lawyer Tune=== | ===The Single Female Lawyer Tune=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[When Aliens Attack]]". | ||
:This is the theme Bender sang for the hastily-constructed season finale made to appease the Omicronians who had invaded Earth. It is not known if the real show had a sung theme, or if it was anything like this one. | :This is the theme Bender sang for the hastily-constructed season finale of ''[[Single Female Lawyer]]'' made to appease the [[Omicronians]] who had invaded Earth. It is not known if the real show had a sung theme, or if it was anything like this one. | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': Single Female Lawyer, | <poem>'''Bender''': Single Female Lawyer, | ||
Fighting for her client, | Fighting for her client, | ||
Wearing sexy miniskirts, | Wearing sexy miniskirts, | ||
And | And bein' self-reliant. | ||
''[break]'' | ''[break]'' | ||
Single Female Lawyer, | Single Female Lawyer, | ||
Having lots of | Having lots of sex—</poem> | ||
===Street Song=== | ===The Street Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]], [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Tinny Tim]] and [[ | :Performed by [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]], [[Amy Wong|Amy]], [[Tinny Tim]], [[Nibbler]], [[Nudar]], and [[Robot Santa Claus]] in ''[[Bender's Big Score]]''. | ||
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': I may as well jump. | <poem>'''Professor Farnsworth''': I may as well jump. | ||
Those sleazy naked | Those sleazy naked [[Scammer Aliens|Scammers]] | ||
made me look like a chump. | made me look like a chump. | ||
'''Nudar''': ''[spoken]'' Nah! | '''Nudar''': ''[spoken]'' Nah! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': They robbed me of my dignity | '''Professor Farnsworth''': They robbed me of my dignity | ||
And most of my stuff. | |||
'''Leela''': Lars brought me candy. | '''Leela''': [[Lars Fillmore|Lars]] brought me candy. | ||
'''All others''': Cram it down and shut the hell up. | '''All others''': Cram it down and shut the hell up. | ||
'''Hermes''': I can't compete with that. | '''Hermes''': I can't compete with that. | ||
He's Barbados Slim, | He's [[Barbados Slim]], | ||
and I'm Jamaican fat. | and I'm Jamaican fat. | ||
Who would choose a backwards corpse, | Who would choose a backwards corpse, | ||
Line 708: | Line 706: | ||
if I was a bald-headed kook. | if I was a bald-headed kook. | ||
'''Leela''': ''[spoken]'' Hey, guess what, guys. | '''Leela''': ''[spoken]'' Hey, guess what, guys. | ||
'''Zoidberg''': ''[spoken]'' What? | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': ''[spoken]'' What?! | ||
'''Leela''': While we were huddled in fear, | '''Leela''': While we were huddled in fear, | ||
Lars popped the question. | Lars popped the question. | ||
'''Farnsworth''': ''[spoken]'' Congratulations! | '''Professor Farnsworth''': ''[spoken]'' Congratulations! | ||
'''Zoidberg''': ''[spoken]'' Mazel tov! | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': ''[spoken]'' ''Mazel tov''! | ||
'''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' May stars in heaven bless your love! | '''Amy''': ''[spoken]'' May stars in heaven bless your love! | ||
'''Bender''': I think I'm gonna cry, | '''Bender''': I think I'm gonna cry, | ||
' | 'Cause it's an extra-happy [[Xmas]] this year.</poem> | ||
==T== | ==T== | ||
===This Toyshop's Goin' to War=== | ===This Toyshop's Goin' to War=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Robot Santa]], [[ | :Performed by [[Robot Santa Claus]], [[Santa Claus' aides|his aides]] (the [[Neptunian]] elves), [[Kwanzaa-bot]], the [[Chanukah Zombie]], [[Richard Nixon's head|Nixon]], and [[Turanga Leela|Leela]] in ''[[Bender's Big Score]]''. | ||
<poem>'''Santa''': I brought the elves back from vacation, | <poem>'''Santa''': I brought the elves back from vacation, | ||
Chained them up and called my holiday friends. | |||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': Kwanzaa-bot. | ||
'''Chanukah Zombie''': And the Chanukah Zombie. | '''Chanukah Zombie''': And the Chanukah Zombie. | ||
'''Santa''': Three mad wise men | '''Santa''': Three mad wise men | ||
bearing murder and frankincense. | bearing murder and frankincense. | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Damn you, doo doo doo doo. | ||
'''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Shutup. | '''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Shutup. | ||
Now fetch those bunnies by the armful. | Now fetch those bunnies by the armful. | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Says who? Doo doo doo doo. | ||
'''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Says me. | '''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Says me. | ||
Napalm makes them slightly more harmful. | Napalm makes them slightly more harmful. | ||
Line 736: | Line 734: | ||
this toyshop's goin' to war. | this toyshop's goin' to war. | ||
'''Chanukah Zombie''': Talmud says be slow to anger, | '''Chanukah Zombie''': Talmud says be slow to anger, | ||
Low-down scammers got me seeing red. | |||
Got my TIE Fighter out of the hangar. | Got my TIE Fighter out of the hangar. | ||
Jump back Jack, | Jump back, Jack, | ||
' | 'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead. | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Ten-hut, doo doo doo doo. | ||
'''Chanukah Zombie''': ''[simultaneous]'' Dreidel, dreidel, | '''Chanukah Zombie''': ''[simultaneous]'' Dreidel, dreidel, | ||
I made it out of blasting clay. | I made it out of blasting clay. | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': You're nuts, doo doo doo doo. | ||
'''Chanukah Zombie''': ''[simultaneous]'' And when it's dry and ready, | '''Chanukah Zombie''': ''[simultaneous]'' And when it's dry and ready, | ||
for mercy they will pray, | for mercy they will pray, | ||
Line 749: | Line 747: | ||
This zombie's goin' to war. | This zombie's goin' to war. | ||
''[Santa begins beat boxing]'' | ''[Santa begins beat boxing]'' | ||
''' | '''Kwanzaa-bot''': Ch, Check it out, | ||
Kwanzaa-bot in the neptizzle hizzle, | |||
with my inhuman beat-box, | with my inhuman beat-box, | ||
busy building missiles. | busy building missiles. | ||
They're guided by these cute dancing fairy figures. | They're guided by these cute dancing fairy figures. | ||
Careful little elf, that's proximity-triggered. | Careful little elf, that's proximity-triggered. | ||
I'm fighting back for Kwanzaa so the children won't miss it. | I'm fighting back for [[Kwanzaa]] so the children won't miss it. | ||
I'm confused about its meaning, | I'm confused about its meaning, | ||
but I know it when they diss it. | but I know it when they diss it. | ||
Line 765: | Line 763: | ||
Come on, pimp my sleigh. | Come on, pimp my sleigh. | ||
'''Chanukah Zombie''': Easy with that toy artillery, | '''Chanukah Zombie''': Easy with that toy artillery, | ||
Torgo's Powder's deadly but unstable. | [[Torgo's Powder]]'s deadly, but unstable. | ||
'''Santa''': ''[spoken]'' Can they sue for liability? | '''Santa''': ''[spoken]'' Can they sue for liability? | ||
'''Nixon''': ''[spoken]'' Certainly not! | '''Nixon''': ''[spoken]'' Certainly not! | ||
Line 772: | Line 770: | ||
'''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' You signed away your rights when you were hired. | '''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' You signed away your rights when you were hired. | ||
'''Nixon & Leela''': Now, let's fight. | '''Nixon & Leela''': Now, let's fight. | ||
'''Neptunian | '''Neptunian elves''': Doo doo doo doo. | ||
'''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Okay, chestnuts roasting I'm gonna open fire. | '''Santa''': ''[simultaneous]'' Okay, chestnuts roasting I'm gonna open fire. | ||
Prepare for gore galore. | Prepare for gore galore. | ||
Line 778: | Line 776: | ||
===Total Eclipse of the Heart=== | ===Total Eclipse of the Heart=== | ||
:'''Cover''' of | :'''Cover''' of "{{w|Total Eclipse of the Heart}}" by {{w|Bonnie Tyler}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Kif Kroker]] in | :Performed by [[Kif Kroker|Kif]] in "[[Amazon Women in the Mood]]". | ||
===TV Party=== | ===TV Party=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of "{{w|TV Party (album)|TV Party}}" by {{w|Black Flag}}. | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Cubert Farnsworth|Cubert]], [[Dwight Conrad|Dwight]] and [[Amy Wong]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], [[Philip J. Fry|Fry]], [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Dr. Zoidberg]], [[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]], [[Cubert Farnsworth|Cubert]], [[Dwight Conrad|Dwight]] and [[Amy Wong|Amy]] in "[[Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': TV party tonight! | <poem>'''Bender''': TV party tonight! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': Eh | '''Professor Farnsworth''': Eh wha? | ||
'''Bender''': TV party tonight! | '''Bender''': TV party tonight! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': Oh! | '''Professor Farnsworth''': Oh! | ||
'''Fry''': We've got nothing better to do | '''Fry''': We've got nothing better to do | ||
'''Leela''': Than watch TV and have a couple of brews | '''Leela''': Than watch TV and have a couple of brews | ||
'''Zoidberg''': Don't want to talk about anything else | '''Dr. Zoidberg''': Don't want to talk about anything else | ||
'''Fry''': We don't wanna know! | '''Fry''': We don't wanna know! | ||
'''Farnsworth''': We're dedicated, yes | '''Professor Farnsworth''': We're dedicated, yes | ||
'''Hermes''': To our favorite shows! | '''Hermes''': To our favorite shows! | ||
'''Cubert''': All My Circuits! | '''Cubert''': All My Circuits! | ||
Line 801: | Line 799: | ||
==W== | ==W== | ||
===Wagon Song=== | ===The Wagon Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance''' to the tune of the theme from "{{w|Bonanza}}". | ||
:Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in | :Performed by [[Bender Bending Rodríguez|Bender]] in "[[Where the Buggalo Roam]]". | ||
<poem>'''Bender''': We've got a right to pick a little fight with rustlers, | <poem>'''Bender''': We've got a right to pick a little fight with rustlers, | ||
Somebody wants to pick a fight with us, | Somebody wants to pick a fight with us, | ||
He'd better bite my ass.</poem> | He'd better bite my ass.</poem> | ||
===Whaler Song=== | ===The Whaler Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Whalers on the Moon]] in | :Performed by [[Whalers on the Moon]] in "[[The Series Has Landed]]". | ||
<poem>'''Whalers''': We're whalers on the moon, | <poem>'''Whalers''': We're whalers on the moon, | ||
We carry a harpoon, | We carry a harpoon, | ||
Line 819: | Line 817: | ||
==X== | ==X== | ||
===The Xmas Song=== | ===The Xmas Song=== | ||
:'''Original | :'''Original performance'''. | ||
:Performed by [[Robot Santa]], one of | :Performed by [[Robot Santa Claus]], one of [[Santa Claus' aides|his aides]] (a [[Neptunian]] elf), [[Turanga Leela|Leela]], [[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Professor Farnsworth]], and the [[Planet Express crew]] in "[[The Futurama Holiday Spectacular]]". | ||
<poem>'''Fry''': ''[spoken]'' Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song? | <poem>'''Fry''': ''[spoken]'' Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song? | ||
'''Robot Santa''': It's the violentest season of the year. | '''Robot Santa''': It's the violentest season of the year. | ||
''' | '''Neptunian elf''': Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear. | ||
'''Robot Santa''': Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head | '''Robot Santa''': Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head | ||
When I cane you from the comfort of my sled. | When I cane you from the comfort of my sled. | ||
'''Leela''': On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel, | '''Leela''': On [[Xmas]] Eve, we don our gay apparel, | ||
Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel. | Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel. | ||
'''Farnsworth''': And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass, | '''Professor Farnsworth''': And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass, | ||
It can be regifted straight to Santa's ass. | It can be regifted straight to Santa's ass. | ||
'''Robot Santa''': But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial, | '''Robot Santa''': But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial, | ||
The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile. | The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile. | ||
The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous | The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous | ||
Is a pine tree; a pine tree that's coniferous. | Is a [[pine tree]]; a pine tree that's coniferous. | ||
'''Planet Express | '''Planet Express crew (except Amy)''': We have to have a pine tree as coniferous. | ||
'''Robot Santa''': ''[spoken]'' You're welcome.</poem> | '''Robot Santa''': ''[spoken]'' You're welcome.</poem> | ||
[[Category:Futurama]] |
Revision as of 21:14, 12 April 2011
This is the list of song performances made by the characters of Futurama, be they either original performances, covers, or alternative lyrics to existing songs. For the appearances of popular music, see the list of popular music appearances.
B
B-E-N-D-E-R
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender in "The Honking".
Bender: B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender!
B-E-N-D-E-R! Be-ender!
Sayin' B-E-N-D-ER—
B-E-N-D-E-R Beeender
Bender is Great
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender in "Love and Rocket".
Bender: Bender is great! Oh, Bender is great! Bender, Bender, Bender— [Is interrupted.]
Blowin' in the Wind
- Cover of "Blowin' in the Wind" by Bob Dylan.
- Performed by Bender in "The Series Has Landed".
Blue Tail Fly
- Original performance to the tune of "Blue Tail Fly".
- Performed by Bender in "Bendin' in the Wind".
Bender: Fry cracked corn,
And I don't care,
Leela cracked corn,
I still don't care,
Bender cracked corn,
And he is great!
Take that, you stupid corn!
The Bureaucrat Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Hermes, LaBarbara, Dr. Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, Leela, Bender, and Morgan Proctor in "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back".
Hermes: When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town
With a foot and a half of water
Everyone was alright, but I cried all night
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order
And they say this boy’s born to be a bureaucrat
Born to be all obsessive and snotty
I made my friends and relations file long applications
To get into my tenth birthday party.
LaBarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro.
Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smilin'
LaBarbara: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks
Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filin'!
People,
We didn't choose to be bureaucrats
No, that's what our mighty Jah made us
We treat people like swine and make them stand in line
Even if nobody paid us
They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats
They say we're anal, compulsive and weird
But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea
Zoidberg!
Dr. Zoidberg: They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon
Professor Farnsworth: They poopooed my electric frankfurter
Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye
Bender: [deadpan] I am Bender, please insert girder.
Hermes: Everybody sing, Jamaica!
All: Jamaica!
Hermes: Just the bureaucrats — Jamaica!
Bureaucrats: Jamaica!
Hermes: The grade nineteens!
Morgan Proctor: [Indifferent.] Jamaica.
Hermes: Sing me home,
When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea!
[Hermes throws Bender's memory disk directly into the slot.]
Bender: [louder] I'm Bender, baby; please, insert liquor!
D
Daisy Bell
- Cover of "Daisy Bell" by Harry Dacre.
- Performed by Bender in "Love and Rocket".
Danny Boy
- Cover of "Danny Boy" by Frederick Weatherly.
- Performed by Dr. Zoidberg in "A Pharaoh to Remember".
Don't Mess with Earth
- Original performance.
- Performed by the Head of the ACLU in "A Taste of Freedom".
Head of the ACLU: You can eat my dog,
You can eat my truck,
But you eat my flag and you're out of luck!
She's 'awaven proud around the world,
From Dallas to Ft. Worth,
Let me say it again...
Don't mess with Earth!
Don't-mess-with-Earth.
Kill Zoidberg!
Don't Worry, Bee Happy
- Original performance to the tune of "Don't Worry, Be Happy".
- Performed by Amy, Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Hermes, Dr. Zoidberg and Bee in "The Sting".
Amy: [spoken] In every life, we have some trouble.
Bender: [spoken] But when you worry you make it double.
Bender/Amy: Don't worry! Bee happy! [Bender imitates bongos.]
Professor Farnsworth: The landlords say your rent is late.
Hermes: You may have to litigate.
Professor Farnsworth/Hermes/Bender: Don't worry! [Bender opens his chest and releases a bee, which stings the Professor in the head.]
Bee: Bee...
Professor Farnsworth: Happy! [He swells up and explodes. Dr. Zoidberg appears on a stage, his name displayed behind him in neon lights.]
Dr. Zoidberg: Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ladies vomit when I smile. But does Zoidberg worry? Feh, you wish! [The bee stings him.]
Bee: Bee...
Zoidberg: Happy! [He explodes. Hermes skates into view, carrying Amy.]
Hermes: [spoken] Don't worry now, Amy! [The bee stings Hermes, who explodes. Amy skates up to the camera.]
Amy: [spoken] Okay, I'm happy! [She is stung and explodes, revealing Bender standing on the table.]
Bender: [spoken] Take us home, Bender! Don't worry! [The bee stings him.]
Bee: Bee...
Bender: Happy! [Bender explodes into a firework display. When the smoke clears, everyone is sitting around as if nothing had happened.]
Leela: [short pause, spoken] Uh, were you just singing?
Bender: [spoken] No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.
E
The Elves' Xmas Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender, Leela, Fry, Robot Santa Claus, and his aides (the Neptunian elves) in "A Tale of Two Santas".
Neptunian elves: We are free and fairly sober
With so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky
Probably someone will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don't intend to pay
Neptunian elves: The elves are back to work today
Hooray!
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labor isn't easy
Leela: Then you'll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker
If you turn up the controls to super speed
Neptunian elves: It's back to work on Xmas Eve
Hooray.
Leela: And though you're cold and sore and ugly
Your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Neptunian elf: There's a toy lodged in my brain
Neptunian elves: We are getting awfully tired
And we can't work any faster
And we're very, very sorry
Bender: Why you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think
That Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk?!
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Neptunian elves: Now it's very nearly Xmas
And we've done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they're made from inferior wood
Bender: I should give you all a beating
But I really have to fly
Robot Santa: If I wasn't stuck here frozen
I'd harpoon you in the eye
Neptunian elves: Now it's back into our tenements
To drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could I guess
And some of these gorillas are OK
Neptunian elves: HOORAY! (We're adequate!)
All: The elves have rescued Xmas Day
Hooray!
F
Frog Went A-Courting
- Original performance to the tune of "Frog Went A-Courting".
- Performed by Bender in "Bendin' in the Wind".
Bender: Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride,
Blah, blah, blah, something, Bender is great!
Froggy went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh—
The Fourth Day of Xmas
- Original performance to the tune of "Twelve Days of Christmas".
- Performed by Bender, Tinny Tim and two other robots in "Xmas Story".
Bender: On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady
Robot 1: Four family photos
Tinny Tim: Three jars of pennies
Robot 2: Two former husbands
Bender: And a slipper on a shoe-tree.
Funkytown
- Cover of "Funkytown" by Lipps Inc.
- Performed by Morbo in "Amazon Women in the Mood".
G
Greenland Whale Fisheries
- Cover of "Greenland Whale Fisheries".
- Performed by Bender in "The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz".
Bender: Oh, Greenland is a barren land
A land that bears no green!
Where there's ice and snow
And the whale fishies blow.
The Grunka Lunka Songs
- Original performance.
- Performed by Grunka Lunkas in "Fry and the Slurm Factory".
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka Lunka dunkety doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka Lunka dunkety dasis
The secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a dead guy face down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you, folks
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka Lunka Lunka dunkety dutt!
[break]
Grunka Lunka dunkety dingredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
[break]
Grunka Lunka dunkety darmedguards
[interruption]
Hard ass
H
Happy Birthday
- Original performance parodying "Happy Birthday to You".
- Performed by the cast in "I Second that Emotion" and by Elzar in "The Late Philip J. Fry".
All: What day is today?
It's [name here]'s birthday!
What a day for a birthday!
Let's all have some cake!
Fry: [to the tune of the original] And you smell like one, too!
I
I Want My Hands Back
- Original performance.
- Performed by the Robot Devil, Fry, Turanga Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Amy, Hermes, Dr. Zoidberg and Preacherbot in "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings".
- This song occurs just after the opera.
- This particular song was nominated for an Emmy.
Robot Devil: [talking] Stupider? Pah! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! [He kicks the Holo-Robot Devil actor off the stage. The audience gasps. Fry stops playing and the holo-scene fades, leaving the Holo-Fry actor standing on the stage in his underpants.] Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry.
Fry: [talking] Look, what do you want?
Robot Devil: I want my hands back.
[He laughs and columns of flame explode behind him.]
Fry: [talking] Never!
[singing] A deal's a deal,
Even with a dirty dealer.
Robot Devil: Very well,
Then I'll take what I want from Leela.
[The spotlight moves from the stage to Leela. The Robot Devil extends his arms and pulls her from her seat onto the stage.]
Leela: [talking] Whoa!
Robot Devil: Leela has promised me her hand.
Leela: Fry, you do not understand.
[The music slows down and the spotlight narrows as Leela walks across the stage.]
I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender,
The shame,
The shame,
But I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendour,
Deception's the curse of my whimsical gender,
He gave me mechanical ears,
Effective though just a bit garish,
In return without shedding a tear,
I agreed that I'd give him my hand—
Robot Devil: In marriage!
Leela: [talking] What?
Robot Devil: You'd give me your hand in marriage.
[He gets down on one knee. The audience watches. Professor Farnsworth watches through some opera glasses which are just as thick as his normal ones.]
Hermes: Is this really happening or just being staged?
Professor Farnsworth: It can't be real—
Amy: Not if Leela is engaged.
Leela: That isn't what I meant,
That isn't what I signed.
[The Robot Devil takes the contract out of his chest cabinet.]
Robot Devil: You should have checked the wording in my fine... [He makes the contract larger.] Print.
Leela: [reading] I'll give you my hand...
Leela and Robot Devil: In marriage.
[In the audience, Bender reads from a dictionary.]
Bender: "The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention",
Now that is "irony".
[The Robot Devil pulls Preacherbot out of his seat and onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: I will marry her now and confine her to hell,
How droll,
How droll!
Where Styx is a river,
And not just a band,
Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned,
Unless, Fry, you surrender my hands!
[Fry looks at the hands on his wrists. The spotlight narrows over him.]
Fry: Destiny has cheated me,
By forcing me to decide upon,
The woman that I idolise,
Or the hands of an automaton,
Without these hands I can't complete,
The opera that was captivating her,
But if I keep them,
And she marries him,
Then he probably won't want me dating her.
[The audience applauds and cheers. Nixon sits next to Morbo and his wife.]
Nixon: [hooting] Arooo!
Zapp: [talking] Bray-vo! Enn-core!
Professor Farnsworth: I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Dr. Zoidberg: I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!
[Leela struggles to get out of the Robot Devil's hold as Fry gazes at his hands.]
Preacherbot: By the power vested in me,
By the state of New New York—
Fry: [talking] No! [He pushes the Robot Devil away from Leela.] Stop! Take my hands!
[singing] You evil, metal dork!
I Love My Mommy
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender and the comrade greeting card in "Mother's Day".
Bender: You created me, Mom,
So I guess you're to blame,
For the love that I feel,
Just from hearing your name...
You're as tender as corned beef,
And warm as pastrami...
Comrade greeting card: [short, cute electronic tune] I love my Mommy!
I'll Shoot Her With My Ray Gun
- Original performance to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain".
- Performed by Bender in "The Series Has Landed".
Bender: Well, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes.
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes.
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun
Oh, I'll shoot her with my ray gun
Yes, I'll shoot her with my ray gun when she comes, when she comes.
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world,
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world,
I'll be blasting all the humans, I'll be blasting all the humans,
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world, in the world.
[spoken] ONE MORE TIME!!!
In the Year 252525
- Original performance to the tune of "In the Year 2525".
- Performed by ? in "The Late Philip J. Fry".
In the year one-oh-five-one-oh-five,
If man is still alive,
If robot can survive,
They may find...
In the year twenty-five-twenty-five-twenty-five,
The backwards time machine still won't have arrived.
In all the world, there's only one technology,
A rusty sword for practicing proctology!
In a future year that ends with a twenty,
A shlubby merman's gonna try to get chummy.
He may look like a watery wimp,
When in fact he's a bloodthirsty shrimp!
In the year one million and a half,
Humankind is enslaved by giraffe.
Man must pay for all his misdeeds,
When the treetops are stripped of their leaves!
Whoa-oh!
K
The Kwanzaa Rap
- Original performance.
- Performed by Kwanzaa-bot, Hermes, LaBarbara, Barbados Slim, Bubblegum, Professor Farnsworth, Dwight, and the Planet Express crew in "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular".
Hermes: I'm glad you all could be here with my family. Kwanzaa traditions are quite ancient, dating back over one thousand years.
Fry: Woah.
Dr. Zoidberg: If only someone could tell us more about these traditions.
Kwanzaa-bot: [He breaks through the wall.] Oh, yeah!
Dwight: Hey, Kool-Aid's here!
LaBarbara: No, child, that's not a made-up character. It's Kwanzaa-bot.
Kwanzaa-bot: And I'mma tell y'all how we celebrate Kwanzaa. Zoidberg, lay down a beat!
Dr. Zoidberg: How 'bout I just lay down?
[Hermes and LaBarbara provide backup on kalimba and drum respectively.]
Kwanzaa-bot: The seven basic principles that go to make up Kwanzaa!
So sit yo' asses down and have some knowledge dropped upons ya!
LaBarbara: Kujichagulia...
Barbados Slim and Bubblegum: And umoja...
Hermes: And the rest.
Planet Express crew: Now we get it!
Kwanzaa-bot: Sit back down! There's gonna be a test.
My favorite's ujamaa.
Bubblegum: Cooperative economics.
Kwanzaa-bot: Yo, boondocks, I'm talkin' here! Put away the comics!
Ku'umba is another one, it stands for creativity.
Barbados Slim: Like the ever-changing nature of my sexual proclivities.
Kwanzaa-bot: I think there's one called "nia," but I don't speak Swahili,
Sumthin' 'bout a pine tree and a oil-wrestlin' dealy?
Professor Farnsworth: That's from Xmas and Robanukah, you plagiarizing lout!
Kwanzaa-bot: Yeah, I'm kinda losin' interest here. I'd best be rollin' out.
But before I go, the most important thing...
Dwight: What's that, Black Santa?
Kwanzaa-bot: You need seven Kwanzaa candles that you light up every night.
But they best be made of beeswax or y'all might as well be white.
Planet Express crew: They must be made of beeswax or we might as well be white.
L
Leela
- Cover of "Lola" by The Kinks.
- Performed by Zapp in "Amazon Women in the Mood".
- In Zapp's performance, the character of the original song (Lola) is exchanged with Leela.
Leela: Orphan of the Stars
- Original performance.
- Performed by several opera singers in "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings".
["Scene 1. Wherein Leela Is Found At The Orphanarium"]
Holo-Vogel: Who is this one-eyed female baby Moses,
With courage in her female baby smile?
Holo-Orphans: A saviour from the stars,
Or something stranger still.
Holo-Leela: Or just a lonely, filthy, starving child.
[Another Scene: On the stage, a big green Holo-Godzilla holds Holo-Fry in its hands. Holo-Bender watches as Holo-Leela points a laser at it.]
Holo-Bender: Leela! Leela, Leela save him!
Save Fry, save Fry,
Godzilla will devour him,
As for me,
I must be off,
To have my doctor check this cough,
[He coughs.]
Goodbye!
[Intermission]
[Another Scene: Holo-Fry is seen together in Robot Hell with the Holo-Robot Devil.]
Holo-Fry: To win Leela's heart with the holophonor's art,
I need hands of transcendental quickness.
Holo-Robot Devil: Well, I don't see any danger,
In gambling with a stranger,
For my head is of a most amazing thickness.
[He spins the wheel and falls over.]
I'm stupid, I'm stupid,
I'm stupider than you,
I'm stupider than you in every way.
- For the song afterwards, see "I Want My Hands Back".
M
My Broken Friend
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender and Beck in "Bendin' in the Wind".
Bender: People say my broken friend is useless.
But I say his mind is free.
There's lots of things my mangled robot friend could be.
Beck: Kick it!
Bender: Well, he could make a good hat rack,
Beck: He only has to stand there.
Bender: Or a cheap doorstop,
Beck: He doesn't need to move.
Bender: Or a great big giant thermos with a twist off top,
Beck: That would be good for soup.
Bender: He could be a storage closet for outdated pants.
Beck: I like 'em tight.
Bender: My broken friend could do it all,
Beck & Bender: Just give him a chance!
Bender: That robot has a tragic secret
That I'd like to share.
Beck: For real?
Bender: My broken friend is closer to me than an ass to a chair.
Beck: Mmmm.
Bender: That robot's name I never told you...
Beck: What's that?
Bender: ... you could not foresee.
Beck: C'mon, give it up.
Bender: I sing it loud and sing it proud,
Beck & Bender: His name is you and me!
Bender: Don't melt me down into a crowbar,
Beck: It suffers alone,
Bender: Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs. [He starts moving his arms and legs]
Beck: Hey!
Bender: Or toss me into a trash can,
Beck: Bender, what are you doin'?
Bender: Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs.
Beck: What are you doin'?
Bender: Don't crush me into an anchor,
Beck: Yo, what's the dilly-o?
Bender: Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing
I'm telling you, my broken friend...
Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!
I'm telling you, my broken friend
Can do most anything!
Yeah!
N
The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 1
- Original performance.
- Performed by ? in "Less than Hero".
Go, go, go, New Justice Team
Go, team; go, team; team, team, team
Who's that newest Justice Team
The New Justice Team
Captain Yesterday is fast
Also he is from the past
Not just fast but from the past
Captain Yesterday!
Superking has all the powers of a king
Plus all the power of Superman,
Also he's a robot
Ain't it cool? Superking, you rule!
Clobberella beats you up
Clobberella beats you up
Who does she beat up? You!
Clobberella!
Citizens, never fear
Crazy do-good freaks are here
Until they run out of steam...
Miracle cream, miracle cream
Gives the power to the team
Its effects wear off for sure
So they just slop on some more
The New Justice Team!
The New Justice Team Theme Song Part 2
- Original performance.
- Performed by ? in "Less than Hero".
Go, go, go, New Justice Team
Fighting justice is their quest
Superking, Clobberella
And all the rest
Here's to you new Justice Team
Do the things that make a team
Help each other do some things
Winners don't use drugs!
The New Justice Team!
O
The opening theme for Into the Wild Green Yonder
- Original performance in the style of Frank Sinatra.
- Performed by Seth MacFarlane in Into the Wild Green Yonder.
MacFarlane: You and I will be reborn
In a future place and time
If everything our Hindu brethren say is true
In an age of things that hover
You and I will still be lovers
And we'll say to ourselves
"That was then
This is too"
Heads: Doo doo doo-doody doo doo da-doo doodoo
MacFarlane: 'Cause we'll still find
The happenin' hot spots
We'll still cruise
The cool casinos
You'll still fly me to the moon
Although the moon to which you'll fly me
Could be Phobos or Deimos
The psychic worms from Rigel 9
Who control ev'rything we do
Will make us think that was then
And three thousand and ten
Is exactly the same as nineteen sixty two
Don't expect any changes, my friend
That was then
And this is too—!
P
Pharaoh's Funeral Song
- Original performance parodying "Daniel", "Bennie and the Jets", and "Crocodile Rock".
- Performed by Elton John lookalike in "A Pharaoh to Remember".
Elton John: Pharaoh, my god-king
you are cold and deceased,
Are you still half insane?
[pause]
Ph-Ph-Ph-Pharaoh and his pets
[pause]
But the years went by and Pharaoh died,
Suzy went and joined him in the afterlife.
The Poppler Song
- Original performance to the tune of "The Sailor's Hornpipe".
- Performed by Fry and Bender in "The Problem with Popplers".
Fry & Bender: Pop a Poppler in your mouth,
When you come to Fishy Joe's,
What they're made of is a mystery,
Where they come from, no one knows.
You can pick 'em, you can lick 'em,
You can chew 'em, you can stick 'em,
And if you promise not to sue us,
You can shove one up your nose.
R
The Real Slim Shady
- Cover of "The Real Slim Shady" by Eminem.
- Performed by William Shatner in "Where No Fan Has Gone Before", though spoken.
Shatner: [spoken] I'm Slim Shady. Yes, I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys, are just imitating. So, won't the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up? Please stand up.
Walter Koenig: How can you do a spoken word version of a rap song?
Melllvar: He found a way.
The Robanukah Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender, Hermes, Amy, Leela, the Planet Express crew, Ruth, and Esther in "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular".
Bender: [spoken] Woah, woah, woah! How come we get off for every dumb human holiday but not for robot holidays?
Leela: [spoken] Oh, Lord, not Robanukah.
Bender: [spoken] I'm talkin' about Robanukah! The holiest six and a half weeks in the robot calendar!
Amy: [spoken] Pfft! That's just a fake holiday you make up every year to get out of work!
Fry: [spoken] Yeah, if it's real, how come there's no song that explains how you celebrate it?
Bender: [spoken] Because there is! Hit it!
Professor Farnsworth: [spoken] Hit what?
Bender: [spoken] I've placed instruments under your seats. Play 'em or I'll break 'em over your heads!
[Fry gets out a holophonor; the Professor, a fiddle; and Dr. Zoidberg, an accordion, and start playing klezmer music.]
Bender: Robanukah may sound as if it's Jewish,
But its ancient sounding customs are exceptionally newish.
So take a hearty swallow from your robo-kiddish cup,
Which will give me time to quickly make them up.
[Amy burps.]
Hermes: Do you spin a dreidel made from clay?
Bender: Mine is called a droidel and it's rigged to make you pay.
Amy: Do you eat these yummy tin-wrapped chocolate coins?
Bender: [spoken] Better!
We got fembots with illegal five-speed groins!
[spoken] Shalom, Ruth and Esther!
Ruth: [spoken] Why with the music so loud?
Esther: [spoken] Would it kill him to turn up the heat a little in here?
Bender: But by far the most important thing is oil.
Leela: To keep the lamp light burning or to help the latkes broil?
Bender: No, we pour the holy lubricant out from the sacred vessel
Into this blessed pit so they can wrestle.
Planet Express crew: The extra made-up touch that makes Robanukah so special
Is the oil in which the nasty fembots wrestle.
Robot Hell
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender, the Robot Devil, the Beastie Boys, Fry, and Leela in "Hell is Other Robots".
Robot Devil: Cigars are evil, you won't miss 'em. We'll find ways to simulate that smell
What a sorry fella! Rolled up and smoked like a panatella,
Here on Level One of Robot Hell!
Robot Devil: Gambling's wrong and so is cheating; so is forging phony I.O.U's
Let's let lady luck decide what type of torture's justified
I'm pit boss here on Level Two!
Ooh, deep-fried robot!
Bender: Just tell me why!
Robot Devil: Please read this 55-page warrant.
Bender: There must be robots worse than I
Robot Devil: We checked around, there really aren't.
Bender: Then please let me explain: my crimes were merely boyish pranks
Robot Devil: You stole from boy scouts, nuns and banks!
Bender: Oh, don't blame me, blame my up-bringin'.
Robot Devil: Please stop sinning while I'm singing.
Selling bootleg tapes is wrong, musicians need that income to survive.
Beastie Boys: Hey, Bender, gonna make some noise
With your hard drive scratched by the Beastie Boys
That's what ya, what ya, what ya get on Level Five!
Fry: I don't feel well.
Leela: It's up to us to rescue him.
Fry: Maybe he likes it here in Hell.
Leela: It's us who tempted him to sin.
Fry: Maybe he's back at the motel.
Leela: Come on, Fry, now don't be scared
I'm sure at least one of us will be spared
So just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Fry: My ass has blisters from the slide!
Robot Devil: Fencing diamonds
Fixing cockfights
Publishing indecent magazines
You'll pay for every crime
Knee deep in electric slime
You'll suffer till the end of time
Enduring tortures most of which rhyme
Trapped forever here in Robot Hell!
[Spoken] Of course, that's just for starters.
S
Santa Claus Is Gunning You Down
- Original performance parodying "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town".
- Performed by Amy, Professor Farnsworth, Leela, Dr. Zoidberg, Hermes, Bender, and Fry in "Xmas Story".
Amy: He knows when you are sleeping,
Professor Farnsworth: He knows when you're on the can,
Leela: He'll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan.
Dr. Zoidberg: Oh,
Hermes: You'd better not breathe, you'd better not move,
Bender: You're better off dead, I'm telling you, dude.
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!
Shut Up and Love Me
- Original performance.
- Performed by Wailing Fungus in "Proposition Infinity".
- Heard during the closing credits. In the final scene, only the refrain is sung.
- It was number 12 on the charts in 3010.
Chorus: Shut up and love me! Shut up and love me!
Wailing Fungus: I told you where.
I told you when.
I told you how.
And we'll meet up at ten.
But you keep on talkin'.
You keep on yackin'.
Chorus: Shut up and love me! Shut up and love me!
The Single Female Lawyer Tune
- Original performance.
- Performed by Bender in "When Aliens Attack".
- This is the theme Bender sang for the hastily-constructed season finale of Single Female Lawyer made to appease the Omicronians who had invaded Earth. It is not known if the real show had a sung theme, or if it was anything like this one.
Bender: Single Female Lawyer,
Fighting for her client,
Wearing sexy miniskirts,
And bein' self-reliant.
[break]
Single Female Lawyer,
Having lots of sex—
The Street Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Professor Farnsworth, Leela, Hermes, Bender, Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Amy, Tinny Tim, Nibbler, Nudar, and Robot Santa Claus in Bender's Big Score.
Professor Farnsworth: I may as well jump.
Those sleazy naked Scammers
made me look like a chump.
Nudar: [spoken] Nah!
Professor Farnsworth: They robbed me of my dignity
And most of my stuff.
Leela: Lars brought me candy.
All others: Cram it down and shut the hell up.
Hermes: I can't compete with that.
He's Barbados Slim,
and I'm Jamaican fat.
Who would choose a backwards corpse,
with lice in his hair?
Leela: Lars says I'm dreamy.
All others: Who the hell cares?
Bender: Oh, won't somebody shoot her please
and put her out of our misery?
Santa: [spoken] That's my cue.
[All others scream]
Tinny Tim: [spoken] Oh, my word.
Fry: Lars makes me puke.
I bet she'd love me too,
if I was a bald-headed kook.
Leela: [spoken] Hey, guess what, guys.
Dr. Zoidberg: [spoken] What?!
Leela: While we were huddled in fear,
Lars popped the question.
Professor Farnsworth: [spoken] Congratulations!
Dr. Zoidberg: [spoken] Mazel tov!
Amy: [spoken] May stars in heaven bless your love!
Bender: I think I'm gonna cry,
'Cause it's an extra-happy Xmas this year.
T
This Toyshop's Goin' to War
- Original performance.
- Performed by Robot Santa Claus, his aides (the Neptunian elves), Kwanzaa-bot, the Chanukah Zombie, Nixon, and Leela in Bender's Big Score.
Santa: I brought the elves back from vacation,
Chained them up and called my holiday friends.
Kwanzaa-bot: Kwanzaa-bot.
Chanukah Zombie: And the Chanukah Zombie.
Santa: Three mad wise men
bearing murder and frankincense.
Neptunian elves: Damn you, doo doo doo doo.
Santa: [simultaneous] Shutup.
Now fetch those bunnies by the armful.
Neptunian elves: Says who? Doo doo doo doo.
Santa: [simultaneous] Says me.
Napalm makes them slightly more harmful.
No one here goes near that door,
this toyshop's goin' to war.
Chanukah Zombie: Talmud says be slow to anger,
Low-down scammers got me seeing red.
Got my TIE Fighter out of the hangar.
Jump back, Jack,
'Cause I'm Jewish and I'm undead.
Neptunian elves: Ten-hut, doo doo doo doo.
Chanukah Zombie: [simultaneous] Dreidel, dreidel,
I made it out of blasting clay.
Neptunian elves: You're nuts, doo doo doo doo.
Chanukah Zombie: [simultaneous] And when it's dry and ready,
for mercy they will pray,
I can't wait eight nights or more.
This zombie's goin' to war.
[Santa begins beat boxing]
Kwanzaa-bot: Ch, Check it out,
Kwanzaa-bot in the neptizzle hizzle,
with my inhuman beat-box,
busy building missiles.
They're guided by these cute dancing fairy figures.
Careful little elf, that's proximity-triggered.
I'm fighting back for Kwanzaa so the children won't miss it.
I'm confused about its meaning,
but I know it when they diss it.
So Santa?
Santa: Yeah, Kay?
Kwanzaabot: Cee Zee?
Chanukah Zombie : Hey, hey.
Kwanzaabot: Let's slay them pimps.
Come on, pimp my sleigh.
Chanukah Zombie: Easy with that toy artillery,
Torgo's Powder's deadly, but unstable.
Santa: [spoken] Can they sue for liability?
Nixon: [spoken] Certainly not!
Santa: Use as much as you are able.
Neptunian Elves: This bites, doo doo doo doo
Santa: [simultaneous] You signed away your rights when you were hired.
Nixon & Leela: Now, let's fight.
Neptunian elves: Doo doo doo doo.
Santa: [simultaneous] Okay, chestnuts roasting I'm gonna open fire.
Prepare for gore galore.
Santa, Kwanzaabot & Chanukah Zombie: This trinity's goin' to war.
Total Eclipse of the Heart
- Cover of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler.
- Performed by Kif in "Amazon Women in the Mood".
TV Party
- Original performance to the tune of "TV Party" by Black Flag.
- Performed by Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Fry, Leela, Dr. Zoidberg, Hermes, Cubert, Dwight and Amy in "Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television".
Bender: TV party tonight!
Professor Farnsworth: Eh wha?
Bender: TV party tonight!
Professor Farnsworth: Oh!
Fry: We've got nothing better to do
Leela: Than watch TV and have a couple of brews
Dr. Zoidberg: Don't want to talk about anything else
Fry: We don't wanna know!
Professor Farnsworth: We're dedicated, yes
Hermes: To our favorite shows!
Cubert: All My Circuits!
Dwight: Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad!
Amy: Scary Door!
Leela: Blernesday Night Blernsball!
Bender: Futurama!
W
The Wagon Song
- Original performance to the tune of the theme from "Bonanza".
- Performed by Bender in "Where the Buggalo Roam".
Bender: We've got a right to pick a little fight with rustlers,
Somebody wants to pick a fight with us,
He'd better bite my ass.
The Whaler Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Whalers on the Moon in "The Series Has Landed".
Whalers: We're whalers on the moon,
We carry a harpoon,
For there ain't no whales
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune.
X
The Xmas Song
- Original performance.
- Performed by Robot Santa Claus, one of his aides (a Neptunian elf), Leela, Professor Farnsworth, and the Planet Express crew in "The Futurama Holiday Spectacular".
Fry: [spoken] Can someone please explain how you celebrate this crazy holiday? Preferably in song?
Robot Santa: It's the violentest season of the year.
Neptunian elf: Old Kringle-bot has come to spread some mugs of Xmas fear.
Robot Santa: Sugar-plummy visions will be dancing in your head
When I cane you from the comfort of my sled.
Leela: On Xmas Eve, we don our gay apparel,
Kevlar vests, asbestos stockings and a barrel.
Professor Farnsworth: And if Grandma's Xmas fruitcake finally reaches critical mass,
It can be regifted straight to Santa's ass.
Robot Santa: But the ornamental armaments are merely superficial,
The tinsel and the trappings are just icing on the missile.
The one thing that you need to make your Xmas day splendiferous
Is a pine tree; a pine tree that's coniferous.
Planet Express crew (except Amy): We have to have a pine tree as coniferous.
Robot Santa: [spoken] You're welcome.