Transcript:Cold Warriors

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Transcript for
Cold Warriors
Written byDan Vebber
Transcribed bySanfazer


[Opening Credits. Caption: WE'RE FOLLOWING YOU, BUT NOT ON TWITTER]
[Scene: Outside a frozen lake. There is a shack on the lake. The camera begins zooming in. 1988 appears on the screen. Yancy Fry Sr walks among the trees with a stick in his left hand. A young Fry follows him with a heavy bag pack on his back. Yancy Fry Sr, who has stopped walking, turns to Fry and hits the ground with the stick.]

Yancy Fry Sr: Double time, soldier. [Yancy Fry Sr points at the shack, which has a US flag on it, with his left hand.] I want this ice-fishin' operation up and runnin' by oh-eight-hundred hours.

[Yancy Fry Sr points at the floor with his left hand. Fry expresses cold.]

Fry: It's too cold, Dad. My teen region is freezing off.

[Yancy Fry Sr, who has crossed his arms, blows a raspberry.]

Yancy Fry Sr: You dunno what cold is. [Fry reaches Yancy Fry Sr. Yancy Fry Sr uncrosses his arms, turns to his left, and resumes walking.] I once survived an entire week trapped in a Swiss glacier, eatin' nothin' but frozen Neanderthal. [Yancy Fry Sr turns to Fry.] To this day, I can't stand the taste of early hominid.

[Yancy Fry Sr turns forward. Yancy Fry Sr and Fry have reached the lake. Fry sighs.]

Fry: Let's just get inside the shack.

[Yancy Fry Sr stops walking. Fry does not.]

Yancy Fry Sr: Hold, maggot!

[Yancy Fry Sr switches the stick to his left hand and hits Fry's right leg with it.]

Fry: Ow!

[Fry steps back, stops walking, and turns to Yancy Fry Sr.]

Yancy Fry Sr: Remember the code o' the ice! Thick an' blue, tried an' true. Thin an' crispy, way too risky.

Fry: Shows what you know. [Fry turns forward and resumes walking.] Crispy doesn't even rhyme with risky. [Fry falls through the ice, screams, and resurfaces.] Help! I'm drowning!

[Fry gargles as he falls back in the water.]

Yancy Fry Sr: [calm] Don't worry, son. [Fry resurfaces.] You'll freeze before you drown.

[Fry seemingly swallows water.]
[Cut to: New New York, 3011. Several buildings have ice on top of them. We see five hovercars flying around. The camera pans down to a frozen river. Zoidberg, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Hermes, Amy, and Fry are wearing winter clothes and walking towards the frozen river. Fry, who is holding a fishing rod with his left hand, stops walking, inhales, and exhales.]

Fry: I love ice fishing.

[Zoidberg, Leela, Bender, Hermes, Professor Farnsworth, and Amy have stopped walking. Bender is wearing a scarf.]

Professor Farnsworth: I shouldn't be out in this cold. I 'ave no protective fat, hair, or warm blood. I'm not even legally a mammal.

[Fry turns to Professor Farnsworth.]

Fry: Pfff! [Fry points at Professor Farnsworth with his right hand.] You dunno what cold is. [Fry turns away from Professor Farnsworth. Amy, Fry, Hermes, Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, and Leela resume walking.] I was frozen for a thousand years.

Bender: You were?! Uh. [Bender resumes walking.] Learn somethin' dumb every day.

[Bender raises his left hand.]
[Cut to: Outside the frozen lake. Fry, Amy, Professor Farnsworth, Hermes, Bender, Leela, and Zoidberg are walking on the frozen lake. We see thirteen other individuals, including the paper-hatted salesman; nine houses; and four hovercars.]

Paper-hatted salesman: Live bait!

[Time lapse. A box labelled LIVE BAIT is to the paper-hatted salesman's right. Leela, Zoidberg, and Bender are walking away from the paper-hatted salesman.]

Paper-hatted salesman: Get your live bait here. [The paper-hatted salesman turns to his right. The box is opened by three tentacles. The three tentacles grab the paper-hatted salesman and pull him inside the box, but leave his hat outside.] Whoa! [The box is closed. The paper-hatted salesman's hat falls on the box. The box is opened again.] [off camera] Fresh-killed bait!

[The paper-hatted salesman grunts. The box is closed. Bender, Amy, and Hermes are walking. Amy expresses cold.]

Amy: Can we get inside the shack? [Amy removes her hands from her waist, revealing her belly button to be showing.] I'm wearing a belly parka!

[Fry, Amy, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Bender, Zoidberg, and Hermes enter a portable toilet with a sign reading RENT-A-POTTY - ICE FISHING SHACK nailed to it.]
[Cut to: Inside the portable toilet.]

Leela: If I understand ice fishing, and I'm pretty sure I don't, we'll need to laser-blast a hole in the ice.

[Leela pulls out a blaster with her right hand, holds it with both her hands, and points it at the floor. Fry puts his left hand on the blaster.]

Fry: No. No crazy technology. [Fry grabs a cutting tool with his left hand.] Here. Bender, use your immense Robot strength to drill a hole the old-fashioned way.

[Fry hands Bender the cutting tool. Bender takes the cutting tool with his right hand.]

Bender: I don't see any irony in that.

[Bender puts the cutting tool on the floor and begins drilling a hole, making strange sounds in the process.]
[Cut to: Below the floor. Bender finishes drilling the hole. Fry approaches the hole.]

Fry: And... Woilà [sic]!

[Hermes, Amy, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, and Zoidberg approach the hole.]
[Cut to: Inside the portable toilet. The fishing rod is dropped in the hole. The camera zooms out, revealing Fry to be holding it.]

Fry: Everybody's ice-fishing! [Fry looks around.] How come nobody's ice-fishing?

[Leela, Amy, Hermes, Zoidberg, and Professor Farnsworth are gathered around Bender and are each holding a mug with both their hands.]

Bender: Hot-cocoa break.

[Bender takes off his head, revealing steam and a spoon. Bender grabs the spoon with his right hand, lifts it up, pours hot cocoa into Leela's mug, puts the spoon back in his torso, and lifts it up again. Professor Farnsworth finishes drinking from his mug.]

Fry: Cocoa is for yodelling babies. [Fry grabs a can labelled LÖBRAU BEER with his left hand.] If you're sober, it isn't ice fishing.

[Fry opens the can, closes his eyes, and begins drinking from it. The beer freezes. Fry opens his eyes, removes his left hand from the can, and begins suffocating.]
[Flashback: Fry's room. Fry, who has a thermometer in his mouth and is lying on his bed, expresses cold.]

Fry: Mom, what's my temperature?

[The camera zooms out, revealing Mrs. Fry to be seating on the bed. Mrs. Fry grabs the thermometer with her left hand.]

Mrs. Fry: Fifty. Forty-five. [Fry looks around.] Forty. It's all over! [Fry shrieks. Mrs. Fry is watching football on television.] Woo! [Mrs. Fry raises her arms and then puts them back down.] Down at the 35!

Fry: I'm really sick.

Mrs. Fry: Huh? [Mrs. Fry turns to Fry.] Oh, sorry. [Mrs. Fry looks at the thermometer.] [bored] Hundred-an'-nine. [happy] We'll check again at half-time.

[Mrs. Fry stands up and sits at the foot of the bed, looking at the television. Yancy Fry Sr enters with a newspaper on his right hand and puts the newspaper between his torso and his left arm.]

Yancy Fry Sr: You home from school, you traitor?

[Yancy Fry Sr points at Fry with his right hand.]

Fry: I fell through the ice! [Fry sits up.] Cut me some slack!

[Yancy Fry Sr has crossed his arms.]

Yancy Fry Sr: Nobody cut me any slack when I broke my spine. [Yancy Fry Sr points at his spine with his right thumb twice.] Didn't even take a day off o' work. [Yancy Fry Sr crosses his arms again.] Lotta people depend on you when you sell trampolines door to door.

[Yancy Fry Jr enters with a notebook, a book, and four paper sheets on his right hand and throws them at Fry.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Here's your homework, ya lucky knob.

[Fry grabs the seven-leaf clover from his bedside table with his right hand.]

Fry: And, with a little more luck from my seven-leaf clover, I might get sick enough to miss the whole semester.

[Yancy Fry Jr has crossed his arms.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Hey, give me that!

[Yancy Fry Jr grabs the seven-leaf clover with his left hand.]

Fry: Ooh.

[Fry removes the seven-leaf clover from Yancy Fry Jr's left hand.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Come on.

[Yancy Fry Jr grabs the seven-leaf clover with his left hand.]

Fry: No.

[Fry and Yancy Fry Jr continue fighting.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Give it to me, ya faker!

Fry: No. You're not gettin'— [Yancy Fry Jr jumps at Fry, making him and a guinea pig in a cage on the bedside table fall on the floor. Yancy Fry Jr pushes against Fry's chin.] Ow! My underbite!

Yancy Fry Sr: [off camera] Come on, Yancy! [on camera] Your brother's sick! [Yancy Fry Sr points at Fry with his right hand.] You'll never have a better chance to take 'im out.

Fry: Dad! [Yancy Fry Jr grunts as he pushes Fry's face against the floor. There is a flyer reading NERD SEARCH '88 SCIENCE COMPETITION.] Nerd Search '88? [Fry turns to his left.] What's this?

[Yancy Fry Jr stands up and sits on the bed.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Some stupid science contest for smart wads. [Yancy Fry Jr crosses his arms.] NASA's gonna pick one kid's experiment to launch into space.

[Fry looks at Yancy Fry Jr. Yancy Fry Jr uncrosses his arms. Fry sighs as he stands up, hugs the flyer, and looks around.]

Fry: I can make a space experiment. [Fry turns to his left.] I just got a new thing o' glitter!

[Yancy Fry Jr has crossed his arms.]

Yancy Fry Sr: I'm not sure science is your thing, seein' how that chimp at the zoo tricked you outta your allowance.

[Yancy Fry Sr crosses his arms and shrugs.]

Fry: [angry] Yeah, well, I'll show you. [Fry points at Yancy Fry Sr with his left hand.] [sad] And Mr. Bananas. [back to normal] Anyway, I've got nothin' better to do while I'm sick in bed. Wait. That's it! I'll make a space experiment about the common cold! [Fry looks around.] Where's that contest flyer?

Yancy Fry Sr: You're holdin' it, genius.

Fry: Oh, good.

[Fry begins blowing his nose in the flyer.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room, 3011. Fry, who is wrapped in a blanket and holding the fishing rod with his right hand, finishes blowing his nose in a tissue. The camera zooms out, revealing Fry to be sitting at the conference table, a small fish to be on the fishing rod, Amy to be to Fry's right, and a mug to be in front of Fry.]

Fry: [sad] I feel awful. [happy] But it was worth it to catch an' kill this baby fish.

[Leela, Bender, Hermes, and Zoidberg are also sitting at the conference table and are looking at Fry. Fry sneezes and scratches his nose with his left hand.]

Amy: Shmeez! [Fry turns to Amy.] What's with the shmiffling?

Fry: It's nothing. [Fry scratches his nose with his right hand and sniffs.] Just a common cold.

[Fry shrugs.]

Zoidberg: Wha?

Bender: It's a common uh?

Hermes: Wha?

Leela: What the hell's a common cold?

[The camera pans over to Bender.]

Bender: Is it valuable? Could it be taken from you if you were, say... [Bender lifts up a tube with his right hand and hits his left hand with it.] Unconscious?

[Professor Farnsworth is standing up.]

Professor Farnsworth: A common— [Professor Farnsworth walks up to the conference table and puts his hands on it.] A common cold?! No! [Professor Farnsworth looks up.] [extendedly] No! [Professor Farnsworth looks forward.] [back to normal] Ever since Fry first came to us, I've lived in mortal terror that this would happen!

Leela: I never heard you mention that.

Professor Farnsworth: [calm] Oh, I try to act cool, but inside I'm [stressed] freaking out!

Fry: It's just a cold! [Fry sneezes aggressively.] What's the big deal?

[A police siren goes off. Bender, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Zoidberg, and Hermes turn to the left. Fry turns up.]
[Cut to: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. Fry, Bender, Amy, Leela, Zoidberg, Professor Farnsworth, and Hermes run towards the window of the Planet Express employee lounge. We see four vans with CDC on them stop by the building and QUARANTINE SQUAD on one of them. The two doors on it are opened by two people wearing protective masks and suits. One of them is carrying a gun. The camera zooms in on the two people. The person who is carrying the gun cocks the gun. The person who is not carrying the gun pats the right shoulder of the person who is carrying the gun. The person who is carrying the gun shoots in the air. The bullet transforms into a wrap, completely covering the building. We see nine vans this time.]
[Time lapse. A tape reading DO NOT CROSS • DO NOT CROSS is unrolled by a police officer. URL is holding a megaphone with his mouth. Smitty is holding a microphone connected to URL's body with his left hand. We see two NNYPD hovercars in the sky.]

Smitty: This is the police. [The camera begins zooming in on URL and Smitty.] An unknown pathogen 'as been detected on these premises. [The camera stops zooming in on URL and Smitty.] Come out with your hands— [Smitty looks confused.] I mean... Stay in with your hands up!

[URL grabs the microphone with his left hand as Smitty turns to him.]

URL: You are hereby quarantined until such time as it is deemed safe to enter and shoot your asses.

[Smitty looks forward.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express employee lounge. Leela, Amy, Bender, Zoidberg, Fry, Hermes, and Professor Farnsworth gasp.]

Professor Farnsworth: Eh, now, now. [Professor Farnsworth turns to the others.] Let's not all panic at once. We'll have to take shifts. [Professor Farnsworth turns to Hermes.] Hermes, you'll take the first six hours.

[Professor Farnsworth points at Hermes with his right hand.]

Hermes: Very well.

[Hermes clears his throat and screams.]

Professor Farnsworth: [off camera] Louder! [The camera zooms in on Hermes' face. Hermes screams louder.] [screaming] Louder! [The camera zooms in on Hermes' face. Hermes screams louder.] [back to normal] Crybaby.

[Scene: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. We see six hovercopters, three CDC vans, and four people wearing suits. The camera zooms in on the building.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room. Professor Farnsworth, Amy, Bender, Zoidberg, and Hermes are sitting at the conference table. The wall is now made of plexiglas and contains two pairs of gloves. Fry, who is wearing a pyjamas, is on the inside and two CDC scientists, one male and one female, are on the outside. The camera zooms in on Fry and the two CDC scientists. The male CDC scientist puts on the upper pair of gloves, reaches for Fry, grabs Fry's face with his left hand, turns it to the right, puts a piece of cardboard in front of Fry's mouth, and takes off the upper pair of gloves. Fry turns to the conference table. The male CDC scientist puts on the lower pair of gloves.]

Fry: Look: I just 'ave a common [screaming] cold! [Fry turns to the male CDC scientist and then to the conference table.] It'll be gone as fast as I can sneeze, hurl, and squirt it out.

[Fry walks up to the conference table. Professor Farnsworth has put his left hand in front of his face.]

Professor Farnsworth: No, it won't! [Amy, Bender, Zoidberg, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, and Hermes hide on the side of the table that is opposite to Fry.] The common cold died out five-hundred years ago. And, subsequently, Humanity lost all resistance to its ravages. But the virus survived in you... [Professor Farnsworth points at Fry with his left hand.] [off camera] Frozen for a thousand years.

[Fry turns to his left.]

Fry: Huh. [Fry turns to his right.] So it was hiding deep down inside o' me? Like my skeleton bones?

[Fry shrugs.]

Leela: Give it to us straight, Professor. How incredibly deadly is it?

Professor Farnsworth: [worried] We don't know. [Professor Farnsworth shrugs.] It could kill millions or nobody. I suppose it might even bring a few people back to life! [happy] Anything is possible in science.

[Amy sneezes and turns to her right.]

Amy: Oh, no! [Amy turns to her left.] I've got it too! [Bender, Zoidberg, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, and Hermes hide on the side of the table that is opposite to Fry and Amy.] My nose is all gunked up with blork!

[Amy points at herself with both her hands. Hermes sneezes.]

Hermes: And I've got a hankerin' for a useless remedy created by a schoolteacher.

[Hermes pulls a flask labelled Airbunk out of his jacket with his right hand, opens it, and drops it on his left hand. Bender, Zoidberg, Leela, and Professor Farnsworth move away from the conference table.]

Zoidberg: Uh-oh. I think I'm getting swollen glands.

[Zoidberg's neck grows in size.]

Amy: [extendedly] Ew!

Hermes: [extendedly] Oh!

Professor Farnsworth: [extendedly, off camera] Oh!

Leela: Screw the quarantine! I'm outta here!

[Leela begins running.]

Female CDC scientist: Initiate containment procedure.

[The male CDC scientist puts on the upper pair of gloves, grabs a broom, and hits Leela with it. Leela grunts. The male CDC scientist hits Leela again.]

Leela: Ah! [The male CDC scientist hits Leela again.] Ow! [The male CDC scientist hits Leela again.] Oh!

[Leela raises both her hands.]

Male CDC scientist: G'wan now.

[Leela begins stepping away from the wall, walking backwards. Bender, Professor Farnsworth, and Fry are sitting at the conference table. Bender has crossed his arms. Zoidberg, who still has swollen glands, is sitting on a stool. Professor Farnsworth sneezes. Leela, who is still walking backwards, has reached Zoidberg.]

Professor Farnsworth: Now I'm sick! [Leela stops walking backwards. Professor Farnsworth turns to Fry.] I shudder to think what this cold will do to me. Yesterday, I was nearly killed by a tight hat!

Bender: I'd be remiss if I didn't rub your goopy noses in the fact that I'm immune.

[Bender points at the others with his left hand, leans back in his chair, puts both his hands behind his head, and begins laughing. Leela, Hermes, and Zoidberg are standing in front of the conference table. Leela and Hermes have crossed their arms. Zoidberg is looking away. Amy is sitting on the conference table. Zoidberg walks up to Hermes and looks at Bender.]

Professor Farnsworth: Which is why we'll all be counting on you and you alone to nurse us through this catastrophe.

[Professor Farnsworth points at Bender with his left hand. Bender stops laughing, puts his hands down, and raises his left hand.]

Bender: Why, God? [Bender raises both his hands.] Why 'ave I been singled out?

[Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Fry, Hermes, Zoidberg, and Amy sneeze and cough. Fry looks around.]

Fry: Everyone just calm down and make yourself a tissue walrus.

[Fry plugs his nose with rolled tissues.]
[Flashback: Panucci's Pizza. Fry, whose nose has been plugged with rolled tissues, is eating a slice of pizza with his right hand. The camera zooms out, revealing the screen of the arcade game to read HIGH SCORES - SAC 150000 - MS 80000 - LEE 00254, Fry to be writing on a notebook with a pencil on his left hand, and Yancy Fry Jr to be eating a slice of pizza of his own with his right hand. Fry stops writing.]

Yancy Fry Sr: [off camera] Damn it, son. [Mrs. Fry and Yancy Fry Sr are sitting at the table as well.] [on camera] Lose the tissues. You're ruinin' Thanksgivin' dinner.

Fry: I'm busy with my space experiment. I can't devote precious brainpower to blowing my nose.

Yancy Fry Sr: You're never gonna win that science fair, Philip. Face it: [Yancy Fry Sr points at Fry with his left hand.] Someone with your limited brainpower'd be lucky to get a job as a pizza delivery boy.

[A sign on the wall reads MENU / Pizza - 98¢/Slice / Nothing Else. Mr. Panucci is holding a pizza box.]

Mr. Panucci: Hey, Barack! [Mr. Panucci puts the pizza box on the counter.] Pizza goin' out. [Mr. Panucci raises his hands.] Come on!

[A young Barack Obama, who is wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts, walks up to the pizza box and grabs it. Mr. Panucci leaves.]

Barack Obama: Man, I've got to go back to law school.

[The camera zooms out, revealing Fry and Yancy Fry Jr.]

Fry: Pfff! [Fry turns to Yancy Fry Jr. Barack Obama leaves.] I'm not gonna wind up a loser like that guy.

[Fry turns to his right and points at the door with his right hand.]

Yancy Fry Jr: Sure you will. [Fry turns to Yancy Fry Jr.] You're gonna lose the science fair. [Yancy Fry Jr points forward with his right hand. Fry turns to his right.] And that's who's gonna beat ya. [A boy wearing glasses, a shirt, and trousers and holding a soda cup with his right hand is in front of the counter. Mr. Panucci walks in front of him.] [off camera] Josh Gedgie, boy scientist.

Josh Gedgie: Pi over four radians of pizza, please.

Mr. Panucci: What is that? About a slice?

Josh Gedgie: More like exactly a slice.

[Josh Gedgie points at Mr. Panucci with his left hand and laughs.]

Fry: Game on, Gedgie.

[Fry raises his right fist and sneezes, causing his tissue walrus to fall on the last slice of pizza.]

Yancy Fry Jr: [off camera] Ew!

Yancy Fry Sr: I've 'ad worse. When I was shot down over Korea, I had to eat Kimchi. [slowly] He was our interpreter.

[Yancy Fry Sr begins eating the last slice of pizza. Fry looks at Josh Gedgie as he leaves and raises his left fist.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express kitchen, 3011. The whole kitchen is messy. A bell is ringing. The camera pans over to Bender. Bender, who is wearing an apron, sitting on a chair, and sleeping, screams, turns to his right and then to his left, and stands up.]

Bender: [screaming] Coming!

[Bender runs as he takes off the apron and throws it on the chair.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express employee lounge. A bell is being rung. The door opens. Bender enters, panting, and raises his left hand.]

Bender: What now?

[The couch has been turned into a bed. Amy, Professor Farnsworth, and Fry are lying on one side. Leela, Hermes, and Zoidberg are lying on another. Amy puts the bell in the middle of the bed with her left hand.]

Amy: Humidifier.

[Bender turns to his right, sighs, and crosses his arms.]

Bender: Fine. [Bender's chest cabinet starts shaking and begins exuding steam. A red light appears. Leela grabs the bell with her right hand and rings it. Bender turns to his left and stops exuding steam. The red light disappears.] Yes?!

[Leela coughs and drops the bell.]

Leela: Where's that chicken soup we asked for?

[Bender opens his chest cabinet with his right hand, puts his left hand in it, and pulls out a chicken.]

Bender: Chicken. [Bender throws the chicken, puts his left hand in his chest cabinet, and pulls out a bottle.] Water. [Bender throws the bottle, puts his left hand in his chest cabinet, and pulls out a lighter.] Fire. [Bender throws the lighter. The chicken and the bottle are in front of Leela. The lighter falls on Leela's forehead.] [off camera] You take it from there.

[The camera pans over to Hermes.]

Hermes: This is torture. The fever. The chills. And the sweating! [Hermes turns to Amy's feet, points at them with both his hands, and pushes them against Zoidberg's face.] Amy's horrible sweating!

[The camera pans over to Zoidberg. Zoidberg sneezes a green substance through his mouth fingers, hitting Bender's face.]

Bender: [slowly] That's it. I'm leavin' while I still 'ave my dignity. [Bender removes the green substance from his face.] [back to normal] See you in the obituaries!

[Bender raises his right hand and leaves. Leela and Fry look at each other. Zoidberg and Professor Farnsworth look at each other. Zoidberg and Amy look at each other.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room. Bender walks up to the wall of plexiglas, puts on the upper pair of gloves, extends his arms, and laughs evilly.]
[Cut to: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. We see one police officer, three police hovercars, four CDC officers, one CDC van, the female CDC scientist, and the male CDC scientist.]

Male CDC scientist: How's the... Uh... Containment holdin' up?

[One of Bender's hands reaches the female CDC scientist's right pocket.]

Female CDC scientist: Without turning my head, I'd say one-hundred percent.

[Bender's hand pulls a set of keys out of the female CDC scientist's right pocket. The male CDC scientist and the female CDC scientist leave. Bender pulls his hand back. We hear a door open. Bender hums as he walks forward.]
[Time lapse. Bender has walked up to three CDC officers. The three CDC officers are not wearing their helmets and gloves anymore. Bender raises his right hand.]

Bender: Howdy, folks. And may I say, "Nice work keepin' those sickos penned up." Put 'er there. [Bender shakes one of the officers' hand with his right hand.] You too, buddy. [Bender shakes another of the officers' hand with his right hand.] An' you. [Bender shakes another of the officers' hand with his right hand.] An' you. [Bender shakes another of the officers' hand with his right hand.] An' you. [Bender shakes another of the officers' hand with his right hand.] An' especially you.

[Bender grabs another of the officers' cheeks with both his hands, filling them with the green substance, and leaves. The officer looks at Bender as he does. The first four officers cough.]

Fifth CDC officer: That Robot was a heckuva nice feller.

[The fifth CDC officer turns to his right and smiles.]
[Flashback: Fry's school's locker hall. Fry carries the guinea pig in the cage through the locker hall.]

Fry: You'd better stay here during biology. [Fry puts the cage in an open locker.] Mrs. Jenkins dissects anything smaller than a fifth grader.

[The locker is closed. Fry is startled and sneezes. We see Josh Gedgie.]

Josh Gedgie: Well, if it isn't Grandmaster Phlegm. I heard you're enterin' the NASA science competition.

[Josh Gedgie crosses his arms.]

Fry: Maybe I am... LL Fool J!

[Fry points at Josh Gedgie with his left hand.]

Josh Gedgie: So what's your project? The effects of losing on idiots?

Fry: [angry] No! [happy] I'm gonna infect my guinea pig with the common cold and launch it into space to see if it gets cured by cosmic rays!

[Josh Gedgie laughs.]

Josh Gedgie: Lame! Though the common-cold virus does seem like a judge pleaser. [Josh Gedgie strokes his chin and looks around.] I think I'll steal that an' do an experiment that's slightly less... Very stupid!

[Josh Gedgie begins walking, crosses his arms again, and stops walking behind Fry. Fry turns to Josh Gedgie.]

Fry: But that's my idea! You are an evil, evil nerd!

[Fry points at Josh Gedgie twice with his right hand.]

Josh Gedgie: Gedgie out!

[Josh Gedgie turns back and leaves. Fry walks up to the locker and opens it with his right hand.]

Fry: We'll show him who's stupid.

[Fry approaches his guinea pig and coughs towards it. Fry's guinea pig coughs.]
[Montage: The song "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" begins playing. Outside Fry's house. Fry's guinea pig, who has been dressed as an astronaut, is standing on a trampoline. Fry jumps onto the trampoline, throwing his guinea pig through the air. Fry's guinea pig begins descending on a parachute.]
[Cut to: Fry's bathroom. Yancy Fry Sr is lying on the bathtub and holding a can with his right hand. Yancy Fry Sr's eyes are closed. A shadow appears on Yancy Fry Sr's face. Yancy Fry Sr opens his eyes. The camera zooms out, revealing a shampoo bottle with a door on it and connected to a parachute to fall on the bathtub. The door on the shampoo bottle is opened, revealing Fry's guinea pig. Yancy Fry Sr, although surprised, salutes Fry's guinea pig.]
[Cut to: Fry's basement. Fry's guinea pig is sitting on a Lego chair, which is in a lunch box. The lunch box is taped to a gramophone record. On the gramophone, Fry turns a dial, causing the gramophone record and, with it, his guinea pig to start spinning, and turns another dial twice, causing the gramophone record and, with it, his guinea pig spin much faster. Fry's guinea pig looks terrified. The gramophone record reads Mannequin. The numbers around the dial are 33, 45, and 78. The song stops playing.]
[Scene: The Channel √2 News studio. CHANNEL √√2 NEWS spins on the screen at the same speed. Morbo coughs violently and turns to his left.]

Morbo: Linda?

[The headline consists of GESUNDFRIGHT! and a caduceus with a thermometer instead of the staff. Linda, who has a hot water bottle on her head, is wearing a robe.]

Linda: Morbo. The so-called common cold, introduced by living fossil Philip J. Fry, is spreading out of control. [Morbo grabs a tissue with his left hand, blows his nose in it, and cleans his nose with it.] All citizens are advised to wash their hands thoroughly after beating up Philip J. Fry.

[Cut to: The Planet Express employee lounge. Amy, Leela, Hermes, and Zoidberg are on the bed. Amy is lying on one side. Leela, Hermes, and Zoidberg are lying on another. Fry is also present. All are facing the television.]

Fry: Phew! [Fry turns to the others.] Lucky I'm safely locked up here with you guys.

[Amy points at Fry with her right hand.]

Amy: There 'e is!

[Hermes sits up and raises his left fist.]

Hermes: Get him!

[Amy, Zoidberg, Hermes, and Leela begin beating up Fry.]

Fry: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! What are you—

Morbo: [on television] The situation is expected to deteriorate as newscasters whip the city into a panic.

[Cut to: The Channel V√ News studio. Morbo raises both his hands.]

Morbo: Run! Run for your lives!

[Three men and two women run across the studio, causing the camera and four paper sheets to fall on the floor. Linda puts the hot water bottle on the table and laughs.]

Linda: And, finally, the heart-warming story of a handicapped magician who didn't know when to give up.

[Scene: Outside the Secret White House. The camera zooms in on the building.]
[Cut to: Inside a room. Zapp is looking at a screen showing the map of the United States on which there is a red dot on Manhattan. We hear four beeps. The camera zooms out, revealing Zapp to be leaning against a table where Richard Nixon's head is standing. Richard Nixon's head is also looking at the screen.]

Zapp: I don't like the looks of this, Mr. President. [Zapp turns to Richard Nixon's head.] Shall I switch it off?

[Richard Nixon's head turns to his left.]

Richard Nixon's head: Negative. [Richard Nixon's head presses a button on his desk with his Robotic right hand. We hear a beep.] Rose Mary, release the Surgeon General!

[Richard Nixon's head turns to his left. The door opens.]

Woman: [off camera] Get in there!

[The woman pushes Wernstrom inside the room.]

Wernstrom: Ow! [Wernstrom closes his eyes and puts both his hands in front of his face.] It's bright out here.

[Zapp is now sitting on the table.]

Richard Nixon's head: Wernstrom... [Wernstrom opens his eyes and puts both his hands down.] The quarantine 'as failed. Give me a worst-case scenario. And make it grim.

[Wernstrom walks up to the table.]

Wernstrom: I've prepared some projections. [The red dot on Manhattan has disappeared. Wernstrom lifts up a remote control with two buttons on it with his right hand and presses one of the buttons. Zapp, Wernstrom, and Richard Nixon's head are looking at the screen. Wernstrom presses the button again. Another red dot appears on Manhattan.] Should the virus escape Manhattan, this is how far it will spread in twelve hours. [Wernstrom turns to his right and presses the button again. More red appears on the map. Wernstrom turns to his left and presses the button again. More red appears on the map.] This is twenty-four hours. [Wernstrom presses the button again. More red appears on the map.] This is a Verizon coverage map. [Wernstrom presses the button again. A rotating red globe appears on the screen.] And, in thirty-six hours, it will have infected the entire planet!

Richard Nixon's head: Options?

Zapp: We 'ave only one option. [Wernstrom turns to Zapp.] Protocol sixty-two.

[The camera zooms in on Zapp's face.] [musical sting]

Richard Nixon's head: Not possible. We don't 'ave nearly enough piranhas!

Zapp: Then protocol sixty-three it is.

[The camera zooms in on Zapp's face.] [musical sting]
[Scene: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. We see seven hovercars and two CDC - QUARANTINE SQUAD vans. The wrap covering the building falls off. The hovercars and the vans fly away.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express tower balcony. Fry, Hermes, and Zoidberg have entered. We hear tweeting sounds. Hermes raises his arms.]

Hermes: Hooray! [Hermes puts his arms down, coughs, and raises his arms again.] They're letting us out!

[Amy and Leela enter.]

Zoidberg: And hundreds of black hovercopters are coming to welcome us!

[Zoidberg points forward with his right claw and puts both his claws on his chest. We see four green hovercopters cover the city with another wrap and nine Humans, including Hattie, Randy, and the Hyper-Chicken, cough, scream as they are covered, and cough again. The Hyper-Chicken clucks. We then see five green hovercopters cover the city and over a dozen hovercopters completely cover the city and fly towards us.]

Hermes: They shrink-wrapped the hole city! Well, it could be worse. [Hermes shrugs. We see laser rays.] It is worse!

[Hermes puts both his hands on his head.]
[Cut to: Space. The Nimbus is firing the laser rays around Manhattan.]
[Cut to: Outside the wrap. The laser rays are being fired as an outline of the wrap. The people scream. The rays destroy the Manhattan Bridge.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express tower balcony. We see a tractor beam. Amy, Hermes, and Fry look up.]
[Cut to: Outside the wrap. The tractor beam begins lifting Manhattan up, leaving a hole. Water flows into the hole.]
[Cut to: Space. The Nimbus, which is controlling the tractor beam, flies Manhattan towards the Sun. Zoidberg grunts.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express tower balcony. Professor Farnsworth is also present.]

Zoidberg: They're flying Manhattan into the Sun! [Zoidberg turns to Fry and points at the Sun with his left claw.] They must've been outta piranhas.

[Zoidberg turns to Hermes and looks around.]

Hermes: They're gonna kill the virus by exposing it to the heat of our burning bodies!

[Hermes raises both his hands. Zoidberg turns forward. Hermes cowers away. Professor Farnsworth is wearing a scarf.]

Professor Farnsworth: I'm just glad I have my wool scarf.

[The camera zooms out, revealing Fry.]

Fry: What good is a wool—

[Professor Farnsworth throws the scarf around Fry's neck and begins pulling it. Fry, who is suffocating, attempts to free himself by pushing the scarf with both his hands.]
[Scene: Space. The Nimbus is still flying Manhattan towards the Sun.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room. Hermes, Leela, Professor Farnsworth, Amy, and Zoidberg are looking at the city through the plexiglas wall. Bender enters, panting.]

Bender: Guys! Guys! You're never gonna believe this!

Amy: We know! They shmooped up Manhattan and blasted us toward the Sun!

[Amy points at the plexiglas wall with her right hand.]

Bender: They did? Aw! [Bender opens his chest cabinet with his right hand, pulls out a box with SAVE OUR CHILDREN'S MUSEUM! on it and eleven coins in it with his left hand, and shakes the box.] So that's why this was unguarded.

[The screen shows Wernstrom on a podium.]

Wernstrom: People of New New York, this is Surgeon General Ogden Vernstrom.

Professor Farnsworth: Wern-[violent coughing and sneezing]-strom!

Wernstrom: No doctor likes hurling his patients into the Sun, but, since there is no way to make a vaccine for the common cold—

[Professor Farnsworth grunts as a lamp hits the screen. The lamp falls on the floor and is broken.]

Professor Farnsworth: There is a way to make a vaccine!

Fry: There is? [Fry raises his arms.] [extendedly] Yay!

Professor Farnsworth: Of course, there's a catch.

Fry: [extendedly] Woo!

[Cut to: The Planet Express laboratory. Bender, Amy, Hermes, Leela, and Professor Farnsworth are behind a glass. Fry is in front of the glass, stuck on a metallic surface, below three sets of four cutting tools, and above a bucket.]

Fry: [continued] Woo! [extendedly] Yay! Yay! [Fry turns to Professor Farnsworth.] So what's the catch?

Professor Farnsworth: The vaccine requires the original, unmutated, 20th-century cold virus. So I need to grind you into a paste.

[Professor Farnsworth turns a lever with his right hand, activating the cutting tools and making them begin descending. Leela runs towards the glass.]

Leela: Professor, no!

[Leela turns to Professor Farnsworth.]

Fry: It's okay, Leela. This is all my fault, sort of. If this will save you, then, please, turn me into a virus milkshake.

Professor Farnsworth: He consented! [Professor Farnsworth grabs the lever.] You all heard it!

[Professor Farnsworth turns the lever further, making the cutting tools descend faster. The camera begins zooming in on Fry. Fry closes his eyes.]
[Flashback: Fry's school's gymnasium. A banner reading NASA PRESENTS NERD SEARCH '88 is hanging down from the ceiling. We see twenty-six people, including Fry and Yancy Fry Sr, and nine tables. Fry and Yancy Fry Sr are walking among the tables. Fry is holding his guinea pig's cage. A boy grabs a jar labelled TANG with his right hand and pours it into a 12-unit corn field. A poster behind him reads SPACE FARM. The camera pans over to Fry and Yancy Fry Sr, passing by another boy, who is sitting on a table supporting a hat with a calculator attached to it. A piece of cardboard behind him reads CALCULATOR SPACE HAT. Fry is looking at his guinea pig's cage, where his guinea pig, who is in the shampoo bottle, is dressed as an astronaut. Yancy Fry Sr, whose hands are in his pockets, is looking at the opposite direction. The poster behind them reads GUINEE PIG in SPACE.]

Yancy Fry Sr: Yes, sir. Many of these entries merit a ride in the mighty bosom of our space shuttle. [Yancy Fry Sr crosses his arms.] And then there's your so-called entry.

[Yancy Fry Sr turns to Fry. Fry's guinea pig sneezes. Josh Gedgie, whose eyes are closed and who is holding a suitcase with his left hand, walks into Fry.]

Fry: Jeez! [Josh Gedgie opens his eyes.] Walk much, Gedgie?!

[Josh Gedgie turns to Fry, looks at Fry's guinea pig, and laughs.]

Josh Gedgie: Absurd. You really think your guinea pig could survive in the vacuum of space?

Fry: He already survived in the vacuum of my mom. [Fry shrugs.] I mean, "My mom's vacuum."

Josh Gedgie: My experiment measures the effects of microgravity of the propagation of the common cold virus in an anaerobic environment; i.e., space. [Josh Gedgie puts the suitcase on a table and opens it; revealing a sign, seven test tubes, three petri dishes, and more objects; and puts the sign on the table. The sign reads, JOSH GEDGIE - The effects of microgravity on the propagation of the common cold virus in an anaerobic environment. Josh Gedgie turns to his right and crosses his arms.] Impressed?

Yancy Fry Sr: Damn right I am. [Yancy Fry Sr walks up to Josh Gedgie.] That's some dry, emotionless science. [Yancy Fry Sr pats Josh Gedgie on Josh Gedgie's left arm three times.] Nice job, son.

[Fry looks offended. The camera zooms in on Fry's guinea pig. Fry's guinea pig coughs.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express laboratory, 3011. Fry opens his eyes.]

Fry: Hey, wait a second! [Fry looks at Professor Farnsworth.] I know where you can get some 20th-century cold virus without killing me!

Professor Farnsworth: Hush, lad. [Professor Farnsworth raises his right hand.] I'm totally in the zone.

Fry: We just 'ave to find the Nerd Search '88 satellite!

[Professor Farnsworth sighs and turns the lever, deactivating the cutting tools and making them stop descending.]

Professor Farnsworth: [sad] I don't know why I even build these things.

[Professor Farnsworth turns to Fry and raises his left hand.]
[Cut to: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. The Planet Express ship flies away from the Planet Express hangar and heads for the top of the wrap.]
[Cut to: Inside the Planet Express ship turret. Bender is present. A television screen shows Leela sitting at the wheel.]

Leela: Gunnery Chief Bender, blast us out of quarantine.

[Cut to Outside the Planet Express ship turret.]

Bender: Aye, aye, lady.

[Bender presses a button. The Planet Express ship fires several times at the top of the wrap, but nothing happens.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express ship bridge. Professor Farnsworth, Leela, and Fry are present. Leela is sitting at the wheel.]

Professor Farnsworth: Oh, fiddlepoop! Our weapons aren't strong enough to puncture a thin plastic tent that thick?!

Leela: No. But theirs are!

[Cut to: The Nimbus bridge. Kif and Zapp are present and are both sitting down. Zapp is using his cellphone. A screen in front of Kif turns red. An alarm goes off. We see the Planet Express ship through the window. Kif stands up.]

Kif: Captain, a ship is attempting to break the quarantine.

[Zapp looks at the window and turns his chair towards it.]

Zapp: Blow them to baco bits with a well placed warning shot!

[The camera pans over to Kif.]

Kif: But—

[Zapp, who has stood up, pushes Kif's head against a button with FIRE above it with his right hand. Kif grunts. We see a light and hear a beep. Kif sighs.]
[Cut to: Space. The Nimbus launches a missile resembling the Universe to Universe Missile from The Beast with a Billion Backs towards the wrap, making a hole that allows the Planet Express ship to escape. The hole closes.]
[Cut to: The Nimbus bridge. Kif and Zapp are looking at the window. Zapp is sitting down again. The window shows the Planet Express ship fly away from the wrap.]

Zapp: Oops.

[Cut to: The Planet Express ship bridge. We see Leela and Fry. Leela's left hand is at the wheel. Leela's right hand is on a device hanging down from the ceiling.]

Fry: We'll find that cold virus. [Fry raises his left fist.] The Nerd Search satellite was launched on the space shuttle and released into orbit.

[Fry looks at Leela.]

Leela: Hmmm. All ancient satellites were swept up as space junk in 2113. [Leela looks at Fry and removes her right hand from the device as she turns to him.] I actually knew that offhand. [Leela puts her right hand back on the device as she turns to it.] I'm Facebooking right now.

[The camera pans over to Professor Farnsworth. Professor Farnsworth, who is in front of a hologram showing Saturn and eight of its moons, touches one of the moons with his left hand. The hologram zooms in on the moon.]

Professor Farnsworth: Aha! [Professor Farnsworth turns his chair towards Leela and Fry.] That satellite was scuttled on Enceladus, Saturn's main dump moon!

[Professor Farnsworth points at the hologram with both his hands and raises his right index finger. Leela and Fry, who are looking at Professor Farnsworth, turn forward.]

Fry: Let's dump it up!

[Fry raises his right fist.]
[Scene: Space. The Planet Express ship flies by Saturn and towards Enceladus.]
[Cut to: Enceladus. Leela, Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Fry, and the Planet Express ship are present. Leela is looking at her wristlojackimator and touching it with her left hand. Bender, who is wearing the scarf, is looking around. Professor Farnsworth is looking at Fry. Fry is looking at the floor.]

Leela: This is the exact location of the dump. [Leela turns to her left.] But there's nothing here.

[Bender expresses cold.]

Bender: Can we please go home an' die now?

[Professor Farnsworth turns to Bender.]

Professor Farnsworth: I'm with Bender. [Fry turns to Professor Farnsworth.] Whatever was here's been covered by centuries of ice buildup.

[Fry turns forward.]

Fry: No! [Fry walks forward.] It's under here somewhere. We just 'ave to bust our way down. [Fry raises both his fists.] Remember the code of the ice. Thin an' crispy, way too risky.

[Fry walks onto a frozen lake and grunts as he repeatedly steps on it. Leela, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth scream as they fall through the ice. Fry turns to the hole that was made. Leela, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth hit the ground.]

Leela: [screaming, off camera] I found a satellite!

[Cut to: Below the floor. We see several frozen satellites. Leela, Bender, and Professor Farnsworth are standing up. Fry, who is kneeling in front of one of the frozen satellites, knocks down a piece of equipment.]

Fry: Let's just hope the experiment's still in here. [Fry opens the frozen satellite with his left hand.] Yes! We're saved!

[Flashback: Fry's school's gymnasium. We see thirty-seven people, including a man on a podium, Josh Gedgie, Fry, and Yancy Fry Sr.]

Man: And now, to present the awards, our very special guest. [The man straightens his tie.] He walked on the Moon and now he is judging a high-school science contest. [The man points up with his left hand.] Truly a man who can and will do anything... Dr. Buzz Aldrin!

[The man steps away from the podium and begins applauding. The audience begins applauding as well. The camera zooms out. Buzz Aldrin walks up to the podium. The man stops applauding and puts his hands behind his back.]

Buzz Aldrin: Wow! [The audience stops applauding as well. Buzz Aldrin points at the man with his right hand.] I could've used an introduction like that when I first met the Moon men! [Buzz Aldrin laughs. The audience does the same.] But, seriously, there are Moon men. [The man approaches the podium and points at the watch on his left arm with his right hand and clears his throat. Buzz Aldrin turns to the man and then to the crowd.] Okay. This year's Nerd Search runner-up is a young man who devised a way to add and subtract in zero gravity. [Buzz Aldrin raises his left hand.] Vijay Patel and his calculator space hat!

[Buzz Aldrin points forward with his left hand. The SPACE FARM boy that we saw earlier cheers.]

Vijai Patel: [extendedly] Woo! [Vijai Patel walks up to the stage, shakes Buzz Aldrin's hand, grabs a piece of rolled paper, and turns to the crowd.] Woo!

[Vijai Patel leaves the stage. The camera zooms in on Buzz Aldrin.]

Buzz Aldrin: And now the grand-prize winner whose experiment will be launched into space.

[Buzz Aldrin points up with his left index finger. A man begins drumming. The camera zooms out, revealing it to be the man from the podium. Josh Gedgie, who is smiling, turns to Fry. Fry turns to Josh Gedgie.]

Yancy Fry Sr: [off camera] Look at that cocky smirk. [The camera zooms out, revealing Yancy Fry Sr. Yancy Fry Sr turns to Fry and puts his left hand on Fry's right shoulder. Fry turns to Yancy Fry Sr. Yancy Fry Sr turns forward. Josh Gedgie turns forward. Yancy Fry Sr removes his left hand from Fry's right shoulder.] [on camera] My money's on Gedgie.

[Yancy Fry Sr has put both his hands in his pockets and turned to Fry. Fry is holding his guinea pig's cage.]

Fry: Yeah? He may 'ave brains, but I 'ave heart.

[Yancy Fry Sr turns forward. The man stops drumming. Buzz Aldrin points forward with his left hand.]

Buzz Aldrin: Josh Gedgie!

[Fry looks shocked. The crowd begins applauding. Josh Gedgie, who is holding one of the three petri dishes, now labelled COMMON COLD, begins walking and laughs. Fry looks sad. Yancy Fry Sr looks at Josh Gedgie.]

Yancy Fry Sr: I'll bring the car around.

[Yancy Fry Sr leaves. The camera zooms in on Fry. Josh Gedgie walks up to the stage, turns to the crowd, and raises the petri dish with both his hands. We see the petri dish closer.]
[Cut to: Enceladus, 3011. Below the floor. The petri dish, which has a sign reading 1ST COLD VIRUS IN SPACE BY JOSH GEDGIE to its left and a US flag to its right, is grabbed by Fry's right hand. Fry turns to his right and hands Professor Farnsworth the petri dish. Professor Farnsworth takes the petri dish with his right hand, turns to his right, and looks at the petri dish.]

Professor Farnsworth: What a well prepared virus culture. [Professor Farnsworth lifts up the petri dish.] This will make a fine vaccine.

[Professor Farnsworth turns to Fry and points at the petri dish with his left hand.]

Fry: Good thing Gedgie won. My dumb experiment wouldn't've lasted an hour in space, let alone a thousand years. Besides, Buzz Aldrin ran over my guinea pig in the parking lot.

[Fry crosses his arms, points forward with his left hand, and crosses his arms again.]

Professor Farnsworth: Eh, okay. Uh, come on, gang. Let's go inoculate everyone and cram Manhattan back into its rightful hole!

[Professor Farnsworth turns to his right, lifts up his left fist, and points up with his left index finger.]
[Cut to: New New York. Manhattan is lowered into the hole by the tractor beam. The tractor beam pulls up the wrap.]
[Cut to: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. A hoversign reads FREE VACCINATIONS IN REAR. We see ten Humans, including the perfume saleswoman, and one Alien queued in front of the door.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express hangar. The conference table, Professor Farnsworth's chair, and another of the chairs from the Planet Express conference room are present. An open first aid kit is on the table. Professor Farnsworth and Wernstrom are sitting in front of each other. Professor Farnsworth's hands are on Wernstrom's right hand. We see thirteen Humans, including Hattie, Randy Munchnik, and Sal, and three Aliens, including the Hyper-Chicken, queued behind them.]

Professor Farnsworth: This may hurt a little.

[Professor Farnsworth grabs a fork with his left hand and sticks it in Wernstrom's right arm.]

Wernstrom: Ow!

[Professor Farnsworth removes the fork from Wernstrom's right arm with his left hand.]

Professor Farnsworth: Now, I'll give you the shot.

[The camera pans up to Fry and Leela. Fry is looking down, sad. Leela is looking at Fry, concerned.]

Leela: You saved millions of lives, Fry. You should feel proud. No matter what your dad said to you.

[Fry looks at Leela. Leela puts her right hand on Fry's left shoulder. Fry turns to Leela. Leela smiles. The camera begins zooming in on Fry. Fry smiles.]
[Flashback: Outside the shack on the frozen lake. The heavy bag pack is next to the hole. The camera begins zooming in on the shack.]
[Cut to: Inside the shack. Yancy Fry Sr and Fry are each holding a fishing rod. The two fishing rods have been dropped in a hole on the floor. Fry expresses cold. Yancy Fry Sr looks at Fry and then forward.]

Yancy Fry Sr: You still 'aven't thanked me for pullin' you outta the lake, soldier.

[Yancy Fry Sr looks at Fry again. Fry looks at Yancy Fry Sr.]

Fry: I could've flip-flopped out.

[Yancy Fry Sr looks forward again.]

Yancy Fry Sr: I know that. [Yancy Fry Sr grabs a can labelled LÖBRAU BEER with his right hand and opens it.] Look, son. [Fry is looking forward.] I know I give you the business sometimes. [Fry looks at Yancy Fry Sr.] But, if I'm hard on you, it's only 'cause I want you to grow up strong and resilient. [Yancy Fry Sr looks at Fry and then up.] Someday, you may face adversities so preposterous, I can't even conceive of them. [Yancy Fry Sr shrugs and looks at Fry.] But I know you'll pull through and make me proud. [Yancy Fry Sr puts his left hand on Fry's left shoulder.] I love you, son.

[Fry begins smiling. Yancy Fry Sr looks forward and removes his left hand from Fry's left shoulder. Fry whimpers. The camera begins zooming out. Yancy Fry Sr begins smiling, looks at Fry, and hands him the can. Fry looks at the can and then at Yancy Fry Sr, grabs the can with his left hand, and looks at it. Yancy Fry Sr looks forward. Fry begins taking a sip. Yancy Fry Sr looks at Fry. Fry finishes taking the sip. Yancy Fry Sr looks forward. Fry looks at Yancy Fry Sr and hands him the can. Yancy Fry Sr looks at Fry, grabs the can with his right hand, and looks forward.]
[Cut to: Outside the shack. The camera begins zooming out.]

Yancy Fry Sr: [off camera] Now, bundle up. [The camera finishes zooming out.] I don't want you gettin' frozen.

[Fade to white. Closing Credits.]