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- Linda: Tonight, as 11:00.
- Morbo: Doom!
- [Opening Credits: What happens in Cygnus X-1 Stays in Cygnus X-1.]
- [Scene: Planet Express, Lounge. Leela is looking at herself in a handheld mirror.]
- Leela:Boy, that thing's big. Fry, is my colossal eye too big?
- [The rest of the crew is watching TV.]
- Fry: No, it's what makes you you.
- Leela: But it's so round, so hideously round.
- Fry: Leela, listen. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
- Leela: Oh. So you only care about my looks?
- Fry: No, I.... What?
- Linda: [on TV.] Finally, New New York got a blast of class today as Nikolai, playboy ruler of the Robo-Hungarian Empire, arrived on his extravagant, caviar-powered Template:Yacht.
- Nikolai: [on TV.] I'm just a humble emperor, with a big, big crown!
- Bender: [He turns off the TV.] Of course I'm not planning to steal that crown!
- Leela: What?
- Bender: True. I've always dreamed of being an emperor. You know, for Halloween, and then forever. But heisting those jewels would be difficult.
- Leela: You'd be stupid to try.
- Bender: I'll need accomplices. A sexy vamp to distract and tie up the guard.
- Amy: Never! [She walks away.]
- Bender: A claw man to slip past the metal detector and cut the alarm wires.
- Zoidberg Sorry, I'm set for life after that last job. [He takes an eel out of a bucket label "Aquariam Garbage" and wraps it around himself like a cravat.]
- Bender: And finally, a chump, to be caught on video and later arrested.
- Fry: As I told you on Sucker-Punch Day, I'm through being the chump.
- Bender: Of course, it would all take split-second robotic timing. That's were I come in. You see, I own a watch. [He pulls out a pocket watch.]
- [Scene: Planet Express, The Professor workshop.]