The Scary Door

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The Scary Door
The Scary Door.jpg
First appearance"A Head in the Polls" (2ACV03)
Runtime15 seconds

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The Scary Door is a science-fiction horror television program in the 31st century. It is a spoof of the classic science fiction TV series The Twilight Zone, and references several other TV shows and films, including the ending of War of the Worlds.


The name of the episodes aren't official but describe the main subject of the episode.

The Last Man on Earth

Episode 1: The Last Man on Earth
Appearance: "A Head in the Polls" (2ACV03)


[Opening credits.]

Announcer: You are entering the vicinity of an area adjacent to a location. The kind of place where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples; it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door.

[Scene: In a desolated world, a man with glasses walks through a library that was somehow spared from destruction.]

Announcer: As per your request, please find enclosed the last man on Earth.

Man: Finally, solitude. I can read books for all eternity!

[He drops his glasses and they break]

Man: It's not fair... [panicked] it's not fair! [calmer] Wait, my eyes aren't that bad; I can still read the large-print books.

[As he reaches for a book, his eyes fall out]

Man: [hysterical] It's not f-... [calmer] Well, lucky I know how to read Braille.

[His hands fall off. He screams, and then his tongue falls out. Then his head falls off.]

Man: Hey, look at that weird mirror...

Voiceover Credits

Maurice LaMarche


The Gambler

Episode 2
Appearance: "I Dated a Robot" (3ACV15)


[Opening credits.]

Announcer: You're entering a realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic, or contains some kind of monster... The second one. Prepare to enter the Scary Door.

[Scene: An elderly man wearing a green visor exits 3-Eyed Jack's Casino.]

Announcer: Please send the man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith. A professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

[While crossing the street, Clyde is hit by a car.]
[Clyde wakes up in front of a slot machine. He pulls the lever and it comes up with three Bars.]

Clyde: [laughs] A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me; I must be in heaven!

[He pulls the lever again, three Bars come up again.]

Clyde: A casino where I always win? That's boring. I must really be... [dramatic] In hell!

[Enter man.]

Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith, you're not in heaven or hell. You're on an airplane!

[Man opens curtain, revealing airplane windows. Clyde looks out the window and sees a gremlin on the wing, tearing out the wiring.]

Clyde: There's a gremlin destroying the plane! You've gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

[Man holds up a mirror, revealing that Clyde's reflection is that of Adolf Hitler.]

Clyde: No!

[Clyde is transformed into Hitler when he turns to the person next to him.]

Clyde: Eva Braun, help me!

[ Eva Braun pulls off her face to reveal that she's actually a giant fly. Clyde screams.]



The Most Evil Creature of them All

Episode 3
Appearance: "Spanish Fry" (4ACV17)


[Opening credits.]

Announcer: You're on a scenic route through a state recreational area known as the human mind. You ask a passer-by for directions, only to find he has no face or something. Suddenly up ahead, a door in the road. You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door.

[Scene: A scientist is in a Frankensteinesque laboratory mixing chemicals in a beaker.]

Scientist: I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals to make the most evil creature of them all.

[A pod reminiscent of the ones from the movie "The Fly" opens with a cloud of steam. It clears, revealing a naked human male.]

Naked Man: It turns out it's man.


First Degree Irony

Appearance: "Let's Twist Again" (US#028)


Episode 4
[Opening credits.]

Announcer: Imagine, if you will, a three by seven inch wooden frame -- a frame that's a gateway to a world of imagination. Wipe your mind on the welcome mat. You're about to enter The Scary Door.

[Scene: A man in a car]

Announcer: Meet Brad Thompson, a man on his way home from a boring day at the office.

Brad: Man, I wish something exciting would happen... anything at all.

[A fire truck drives behind him.]

Brad: What's this? A fire truck is trying to pass me? To get to my neighborhood? I'll bet my neighbours house is on fire. I'd better speed up if I want to watch that.

[He gets to his neighbour's house]

Brad: Wait a minute. My neighbour's house isn't on fire. But then, what's with all the smoke?

Man: Oh... hi Brad, sorry to be the one to have to tell you, but... you're on fire!

[Brad is shown on fire]

Brad: Yaaaaah!

[Brad's skeleton is on the floor]

Fireman: We tried to warn him that he was spontaneously combusting, but he drove away from us.

Announcer: Official cause of death, third degree burns... actual cause of death, first degree irony!

That Humblest of God's Creatures

Appearance: Bender's Game


Episode 5
[Opening credits.]

Announcer: Imagine if you will, an announcer you can barely understand, he refers to a [mutters], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.

[Scene: A farm. Suddenly, it is attacked by UFOs shooting at everything in sight. Military forces are there, firing at the UFOs.]

Private: It's all over! Our guns and bombs are useless against the aliens.

Farmer: The saucers! They's a-crashin'!

[The UFOs starts to crash.]

Announcer: In the end, it was not guns or bombs that defeated the aliens, but that humblest of all God's creatures, the Tyrannosaurus Rex.

[A Tyrannosaurus Rex is seen crashing a UFO and eating the alien inside.]


The Aliens Are Among Us

Appearance: "Lrrreconcilable Ndndifferences" (6ACV11)


[Opening credits.]

Announcer: You're taking a vacation from normalcy. The setting: a weird motel where the bed is stained with mystery. And there's also some mystery floating in the pool. Your key card may not open the exercise room because someone smeared mystery on the lock. But it will open the Scary Door.

[Scene: Outside Capitol Hill where a press conference is taking place.]

Announcer: Submitted for your Emmy consideration: a popular Senator with unpopular ideas.

Senator: There's no such thing as space aliens!

Man: Oh? How can you be so sure them aliens aren't already among us?

Senator: I'll tell you how! [takes off the man's face revealing an alien lifeform] Because you ARE ONE!!!

[musical sting]



The comic "Let's Twist Again" (US#028) reveals that the ideas for the Scary Door come from a parallel universe where everything is ironic and there is only one writer for the show.

Additional info