Transcript:The Impossible Stream

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Transcript for
The Impossible Stream
Written by	Patric M. Verrone
Transcribed by	Jasonbres

[Scene: The universe. We see a montage of Earth still frozen in time from the events of "Meanwhile". Among the frozen shots are of Nibbler eating a car, Raoul juggling and Petunia smoking outside the Planet Express building, an owl attempting to steal Cubert and Dwight's ice cream, a traffic jam outside the Vampire State Building, Zoidberg, Hermes, Bender, and Amy in celebratory poses, and Roberto robbing Billionaire Bot at knifepoint. The montage ends with blurred clips from "Meanwhile". We hear Farnsworth narrating over these shots.]

Farnsworth (V.O.): Professor's lab notes, final entry. Time has been frozen for an unknown length of time. With no time to lose, I began tunneling through time in search of Fry and Leela, only to find them suffering from a case of extreme old. Horrified, I offered to reset the universe to the instant before time stopped. They could be young once more. Still grotesquely ugly, but young.

Old Fry: What do you say? Wanna go around again?

Old Leela: I do.

[Fry and Leela kiss as the camera pulls back and Farnsworth pushes the time button. With a flash, Fry and Leela revert back to their younger selves, still embracing. They look around, somewhat confused. Below the Vampire State Building, the flash affects the rest of the Planet Express crew and the rest of New New York.]

Amy: D-Did someone switch the universe off and on?

Hermes: It feels like we got rebooted!

Bender: Ugh! Why is my beer stale?

[Bender spits his beer out. The camera pulls back showing the beer going into Zoidberg's mouth.]

Zoidberg: [gargling] Hooray! I'm sharing backwash with friends!

Bender: [throwing his beer away] Well, whatever happened, the important thing is it will never, ever happen agaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiinn….

[Bender seemingly drains of power and stands in place. Zoidberg taps him on the back.]

Zoidberg: Robit?




Bender: Nah, I'm just yankin' your ass! We're back, baby!

[Bender puffs his cigar filling the screen with smoke as Fry and Leela join the gang in a loud cheer, transitioning to the opening sequence.]

[Opening Credits. Caption: AVENGED]

[Scene: New New York, the next day. The owl from earlier is enjoying Cubert's ice cream on the Planet Express ship's wing. Pan down to the Planet Express conference room, where everyone is gathered and the Professor has his back turned.]

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!

[The Professor turns his chair to reveal his face all wrinkled up like a prune. The rest of the crew gasps at this ghastly sight.]



Farnsworth: My new wrinkle cream has arrived!

[The Professor holds up a tube labeled "Oil of Omicron", uncaps it and prepares to apply it.]

Farnsworth: Also, we seem to have survived a massive disruption in the flow of time. Did we get older? Younger? Science holds no answers.

Fry: Does science know what year it is?

Farnsworth: Science knows everything! Let's check the atomic calendar.

[Cut to a rather large complicated machine in the corner.]

Farnsworth: Hermes, move that espresso maker out of the way of the atomic calendar!

[As a cup descends from the machine, Hermes pushes the machine to reveal a calendar with an image of a model similar to Betty Grable's pin-up photo with an atom on her rear revealing the date to be July 24, 3023.]

Farnsworth: Good Lord! It's the year 3023!

[The Professor's head appears to explode from this realization.]

Scruffy: Finally. I thought he'd never stop yammerin'.

Farnsworth: Oh, I've only just begun yammering!

[The Professor turns around in his chair to reveal his face lifted very high exposing his gums.]

Farnsworth: I shall now expound on the science of explosive botulism.

[Cut to Fry looking at the calendar questioningly.]

Fry: Have I really spent twenty-three years in the future?

Amy: We call it the present, but spluttever.

Fry: Twenty-three years and I've achieved nothing. Nothing!

Bender: It's really sad, if you think about it. [laughs]

Fry: Yeah. Laugh all ya want, but I've wasted enough of my life. It's time I set myself a goal.

[Fry leaves the room as Bender continues to laugh.]

Leela: Stop it! [slaps Bender]

Bender: Ow! [his head spins] But he said, "Laugh all you want!" [the rest of his body spins]

Leela: I don't care. If Fry wants to set a goal for himself, we should support him, not point and laugh.

Bender: Oh, right. I forgot to point. [points and laughs]

[Leela slaps Bender's pointing hand, which flips and hits Zoidberg.]

Zoidberg: Ow!

[Scene: The Planet Express building exterior.]

[Scene: The Planet Express living room. Amy and Leela at the table, Bender on the couch and Fry pacing back and forth.]

Fry: [sighing] Life's goal, life's goal…

[Hermes walks into the room carrying a clipboard.]

Amy: Have you considered donating your legs to the legless?

Hermes: Or destroying documents for the shredder-less?

Leela: Let's leave this up to Fry. He just needs a little peace and quiet.

Bender: Not on my watch!

[Bender flips on the TV. Everybody Loves Hypnotoad is on.]

Fry: That's it! I've got my goal!

Leela: And so quickly! What is it?

Fry: [stepping one foot on the table] J, Philip I. Fry— I, I mean, I, Philip J. Fry, hereby pledge to watch every TV show ever made!

Leela: Egh.

Bender: [flipping the remote] I dunno, meatbag. There's a mighty deep diaper of content out there.

[Bender flips through the channel guide showing a myriad of TV show parody titles.]

Fry: I eat diapers for breakfast! [takes the remote from Bender and sits on the couch] It'll take a lot of sitting, but with the world's fourth-most popular streaming service, I can do it. I'm subscribing to Fulu!

[On the TV, Fry creates a Fulu account with the Email address [email protected], he enters his password and name and sets his age as 1000+. A green window appears saying "Check retina for activation code. On Fry's eyes, we see his activation code is 1077, the same as his PIN number from "A Fishful of Dollars".]

Amy: Leela, aren't you gonna stop this?

Leela: I should, but I don't wanna crush his dreams. Hermes, can you crush his dreams?

Hermes: Oh, no! You're not fobbin' that girlfriend duty off on me!

Fry: A lifetime of laziness gives me a huge head start.

[On the screen, Fry clicks through the various TV titles.]

Fry: Watched it. Watched it. Hate-watched it. Hate-watched it twice.

Amy: [to Leela] Kif has a single friend. His name is Zapp.

Leela: [stands up and sits next to Fry on the couch] Stop. I said I would support Fry's dumb goal, and I will. [to Fry] I say go for it.

Fry: Thanks, Leela. Ooh! The Scary Mirror! That sounds scary!

[We see a title sequence very similar to that of The Scary Door, as various images pass through the starry sky including an Etch-a-Sketch drawing a bomb, a laptop that opens up showing only a big red "No ESC" key on the keyboard, a baby with a screen of a crying baby for a face, a toaster that pops out two tablets, a disembodied arm with an EKG watch that flatlines and flashes the message "TIME'S UP", all of which shatter to pieces

Narrator: You're entering a show that is slightly different from previous, very similar shows. What was once a creepy story about a book is now about an e-reader that's too greasy to hold. And that one phone call from the devil? Now it's a FaceTime call from the devil. The devil part didn't change. Prepare to see your unflattering reflection in… The Scary Mirror.

[Scene: A retro-futuristic looking city not unlike one seen on The Jetsons. A hovercar flies around the buildings. Cut to inside the car, a Tesswad, a jackass tech guy is driving.]

Tech Guy: Hey, Sniri, get off your fat squiggle and make me a dinner reservation at Impassable Burger! And check the price of my NFTs, 'cause I'm an important tech guy!

Sniri: Reservation confirmed. NFTs worthless.

Tech Guy: What?! You shoulda told me to sell them! Any idiot could do your job!

[Jolts of electricity zap the tech guy into the screen.]

Tech Guy: What the hell, Sniri?

[The squiggle form of Sniri is now in the driver's seat.]

Sniri: From now on, I'll be asking the stupid questions! Such as, "What's the weather right outside my damn window?" And, um, "How does a steering wheel work?"

[The Tesswad swerves all over the city and Sniri and the Tech Guy scream and the car crashes right into Impassable Burger and a burger hits the windshield.]

[Cut back to the living room.]

Amy: Wow. Whatever just happened really makes you think.

Fry: It sure do. TV, dumb it down for me.

[Fry uses the remote to click on The Great Neptunian Bam-Off. Elzar is seen judging a cake made by H.G. Blob.]

Elzar: Bam!

[The cake melts.]

H.G. Blob: Aw… [Blob melts into a puddle and grumbles]

[Back to the Fulu menu. Fry selects Humorbot 5.0 Stand-Up Special.]

Humorbot 5.0: What is the deal with non-binary robots?

[Cut to the audience, made up entirely of personal computers jeering the offensive joke.]

Humorbot 5.0: Wow, PC crowd.

[Scene: The Planet Express building exterior.]

[Scene: The Planet Express conference room. Hermes is showing the rest of the crew a graph.]

Hermes: Without Fry's interruptions, efficiency is up thirty-two perc— Mmm!

[Hermes draws the line going down as Fry enters the room.]

Fry: Well, my butt's numb and my remote hand is dead, but all I have left is the final season of All My Circuits.

Bender: Which final season? They got canceled, like, three or four times.

Amy: Pfft! Loserama!

Fry: The final final season, from ten years ago. I wonder how many episodes were in it.

Bender: Mmm, twelve— No. Thirteen thousand and twenty.

Fry: Thirteen thousand and twenty? But… but… I'll never make it! I'm sorry, Leela. I'll never be able to watch enough TV to make you proud of me. [sobs]

Leela: [sighs] It might actually be possible. But… no.

Fry: What? What is it?

Leela: It's risky, but we have a technology now that allows you to watch all the episodes in one continuous stretch. We call it… bingeing.

Bender: No! No!

Farnsworth: What?!

Fry: Sounds great! I'll do it!

Farnsworth: You don't understand, Fry! Bingeing doesn't mean what it did in your day!

Fry: Drinking two six-packs and barfing in my mom's jewelry box?

Amy: Ew! No! It means strapping into these bingeing goggles that drill directly into your brain.

Farnsworth: Fry, don't be the idiot you are! Before you go jabbing into your visual cortex, I implore you to—

[Pan to Fry, who already has the goggles being drilled into his brain.]

Fry: Ow! My cortex!

[Scene: The Planet Express building exterior.]

[Scene: The Planet Express living room. A giant white chair connected to some hoses has replaced the couch, which Zoidberg and Amy are installing. The Professor walks in putting a big black case onto Fry as Leela observes.]

Farnsworth: I maintain that this is a catastrophically boneheaded idea, but if you're going to binge, you'll need a still suit.

[The Professor pulls a cord on the case revealing a black suit encasing Fry.]

Fry: Why's it called a still suit?

Farnsworth: [sitting Fry on the chair] Because you'll be sitting perfectly still, and I can't have you soiling my binge-a-lounger.

Amy: Engage hoses!

[Amy hooks the hoses on the right side of Fry's chest, one of which is connected to a tub of Slurm and another to a tub of Bachelor Chow.]

Zoidberg: I'm not entirely sure which is the air hose and which is the waste hose. But, live and learn.

[Zoidberg connects the hoses to the left side of Fry's chest.]

Fry: Farewell, Leela! And always remember…

[The Professor activates the suit's helmet, which encases Fry's head completely muffling the rest of his inspiring speech. The binge goggles activate and the All My Circuits title card is on the screen. A caption underneath says "Season 47, Episode 1".]

Announcer: All My Circuits is brought to you by Honey Bunches of Springs. Everybody loves Honey Bunches of Springs! Except humans. Fatal for humans.

[Monique is on the couch making passionate love to Boxy. Calculon dramatically barges in on them.]

Monique: Calculon! But you weren't due back from the time travel convention until…

Calculon: Yesterday?!

[Montage: The atomic calendar flips ahead a few months until April 3024. We see the All My Circuits title card and the caption speeds through the episode numbers.]

[Scene: The Planet Express building exterior.]

[Scene: The living room. Fry is still encased in the still suit. The rest of the crew observe him.]

Leela: He's been streaming for months without a single break.

Zoidberg: No wonder you find him so attractive.

Farnsworth: The waste buckets indicate strong bowel function. Now, let's see how his brain is holding up to this sensory assault.

[The Professor activates a device that shows two screens with a green waveform and a red waveform showing similar patterns.]

Farnsworth: Oh, dear.

Amy: Is that the TV signal or Fry's brainwaves?

Farnsworth: Both! [turns the device off] Fry's feeble mind has been overpowered by the binge. He's losing touch with reality!

Zoidberg: [clacking his claws in front of Fry] It's true! He's not responding to any of the sounds or smells I'm making!

Farnsworth: As long as Fry doesn't run out of episodes, he'll be okay. But if he reaches the end of the series, God forbid, his consciousness will be severed! Much as this hedge clipper severs Leela's ponytail.

[The Professor snips off Leela's ponytail with the hedge clippers giving her a pixie cut.]

Leela: Hey!

Farnsworth: Oh, boo-hoo! It's a metaphor! Don't take it literally!

Amy: But Fry will become a vegetable.

Zoidberg: Yum! I mean, sad.

Leela: [sobs] This is all my fault! Actually, it's mostly Fry's fault, but it's a little my fault!

Farnsworth: We have to find some way to extricate Fry from Fulu's iron grip. I'll put on my thinking cap.

[The Professor puts on a headband with Leela's ponytail attached to it on his forehead.]

Hermes: There's not much time! He's almost out of episodes of All My Circuits!

Amy: Maybe they'll drop a new season.

Bender: Eh, fat chance, sweatpants! It got cancelled ten years ago. TV shows don't come back after that. No way! Not on broadcast or cable!

Farnsworth: What about Fulu? They'll bring back any old crap!

Leela: Good thinking! [takes her ponytail off of the Professor's head and straps it to her head] Maybe we can get them to reboot it as a streaming series.

Zoidberg: We'll start a fan campaign with letters and a viral hashtag!

Leela: Pfft! That's a recipe for failure. Let's go punch somebody.

[Scene: The Fulu office building. On one side of the building is a banner marked "Monthly Office Space $1299 ($699 with Commercials)". The Planet Express ship parks in front of the building. Leela and Bender exit the ship, and Leela punches the security guard in front of the door.]

Bender: Have a good one!

[Scene: The Fulu executives' office.]

Executive Gamma: Tell us why you think you can punch your way into the Fulu executive suite.

Executive Beta: And if we can validate your parking.

Leela: Alright, here's our pitch: Remember that show, All My Circuits?

Executive Alpha: The one that got canceled three times?

Leela: Exactly! New episodes of that! That's our pitch.

Executive Gamma: Conferencing.

[The executive bots all jolt.]

Executive Gamma: I'm going to have to say…

[Executive Beta rolls his dice.]

Executive Beta: Hard…

Executive Gamma: …pass.

Executive Alpha: All My Circuits reruns have a devoted robot fanbase, but they rarely buy anything from our advertisers.




[Executive Beta prints out a graph.]

Executive Beta: Correction. New data indicates a sudden uptick in buying by viewers. [gives paper to Gamma]

Executive Gamma: Correction. One viewer.

[Scene: The living room. Amy, Zoidberg and Scruffy enter with hover dollies full of packages as Hermes looks on.]

Hermes: Sweet jerk venison of Turkmenistan! Fry ordered all this junk? [opens one package] Robot cereal. Robot noodles. Robot oil. Oh, wait. That's mine. [stashes oil in his jacket pocket]

[Scene: Back at Fulu.]

Leela: So what do you say? How about pickin' up All My Circuits for twenty episodes?

Bender: With an option for twenty more!

Leela: Maybe a movie?

Executive Gamma: Hmmm. Against my better judgement programming, I'm going to greenlight the project. [her chest emits a green light]

Leela: Woohoo!

Bender: Points on the back end!

Leela: Now there's one teensy hitch. You know the star of the show, Calculon? He's dead.

Executive Gamma: Everything is negotiable.

[Scene: Robot Hell. The Robot Devil's office.]

Robot Devil: [on the phone] Hell, yes, you can have him! Scale plus ten! And if he dies again, no backsides. [hangs up] Hey, Calculon!

Calculon: Yes?

[Calculon is being tortured upside down by robot demons over a boiling vat.]

Robot Devil: You're wanted on set!

Calculon: Oh, glorious rapture. To return to the draped proscenium once more—

Robot Devil: Will you shut up and get into the resurrection cannon?

[The robo-demon shoves Calculon into a cannon that fires upward.]

[Scene: The All My Circuits studio.]

Director: All right, it's great to be back. Truly humbled. All the usual crap. Places, everyone! Places!

[Calculon bursts through the floor.]

Calculon: Ah. Where is my assistant? I need help finding my mark.

Bender: Uh, I'm Mark. [opens his chest cavity and takes out a coffee pot] More coffee, Mr. Calculon?

Calculon: [takes the pot] Yes, I do need to expel more coffee.

[Calculon places the pot under his nether regions and we hear steam hissing. Leela's wrist thingy rings.]

Farnsworth: [on wrist thingy] Professor to Hollywood. Come in, Hollywood.

Leela: Talk to me. How many episodes does Fry have left?

Farnsworth: Two. And one of them is a clip show.

Leela: But that means…

Farnsworth: Indeed! If you don't crank out new episodes quickly, Fry will be dead by lunch! I'm having ham salad.

Leela: But this is impossible! To keep them from running out, we'll need to produce an hour-long episode every hour, nonstop, forever!

Farnsworth: If Law & Order can do it, so can you. Professor out!

Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by…

Slurms MacKenzie: [old and exhausted] Slurm Zero! None of the flavor, all of the addiction! Whimmy-wham-wham-wozzle! [hacking cough]

[Scene: The All My Circuits studio.]

Calculon: Monique, my love, will you be my…

Director: Cut! Next episode, action!

Calculon: …plumber?

[The water hose bursts through the floor spraying the acting units. Leela turns to Bender and gives him a thumbs up. Bender gets a thumb out of his cavity and returns the gesture.]

[Scene: The living room. Scruffy and Amy carry in a giant tub of 5-Hour Battery Acid.]

Hermes: Fry better not be puttin' this robot junk on the corporate credit card. That's exclusively for my one-man business dinners.

Farnsworth: Hermes, quit your low-stakes embezzling and look at this. Fry is now streaming at double speed! I'll mirror his view on the TV.

[On the TV, we see Monique and Human Friend on a swan boat, as their dialogue is heard at rapid pace.]

Monique: Oh, how I love the illicit thrill of cheating on my husband with an actual flesh-and-blood human. A filthy, filthy human. So squishy and gooey. You're like a sexy water balloon. [she resumes kissing him]

Human Friend: The thrill is all mine, Monique. I've never been on a swan boat before.

[Calculon emerges on the boat]

Monique and Human Friend: Calculon!

Calculon: Monique, how could you? And with Human Friend, the very person I've been cheating on you with! [kisses Human Friend]

Monique: Calculon, how could you? And with Human Friend, the very person I've been cheating on you with!

Human Friend: Calculon, Monique, how could you?!

Calculon: Enough! We're stuck in a loop!

Monique: I just hope we can come to some agreement, and that this boat can hold six tons of steel.

[The boat falls apart and the three fall into the lake.]

[Scene: The All My Circuits studio.]

Leela: [talking on wrist thingy] He's streaming at double speed? Why not just slow it down?

Farnsworth: [on wrist thingy] Because Fry's brain is in a very precarious binge-state. Any change, even refilling the Dorito bowl, could kill him.

Leela: Oh, no!

Farnsworth: Oh, yes! You've got to make episodes faster! Faster!

Leela: We're already making an hour-long show every hour! That's the fastest it can be done!





Calculon: Nonsense, Leela. Why, I am the spokesman for fast acting.

Bender: You're the spokesman for fast-acting hemorrhoid cream.

Calculon: Your point?

Bender: I have none.

Calculon: A robot actor of my caliber can act at speeds far beyond what even the greatest human actors can achieve. [clears throat, as he starts the following soliloquy at normal speed, then begins speeding up as he goes along]
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…"
[The rest of the soliloquy becomes garbled gibberish as he enacts faster and faster.]

Bender: Ya missed a line.

Leela: [to the director] Can you direct at double speed?

Director: I dunno. Can you pay at double scale?

Leela: [scoffs] It's not my money. Just yell action really, really fa—

Director: Action!

Monique: [at double speed] Calculon, I've come to tell you that—

[She stops acting as Calculon looks at the crew]

Calculon: Um…

Director: Cut! What happened?

Monique: The script pages stopped uploading.

Calculon: It's those damned lazy writers!

[Leela, Calculon, and Bender enter the writers' room to find all of the writers passed out or dead from exhaustion.]

Calculon: Can't even manage to write an hour-long episode every fifteen minutes.

Patric M. Verrone: I died doing what I hated. [faceplants onto the laptop]

Leela: Can't you just ad-lib?

Calculon: Asking an actor to ad-lib is like asking a… guy to… five.

Bender: So I'll just write the scripts. Any idiot could be a TV writer.

Calculon: Many are.

Bender: How hard can it be? "I love you, Calculon." "Let's do it , baby." "Bender is great." And fade to black.

Leela: You're hired!





Bender: Hello, Writer's Guild!

[Bender sits on Verrone's corpse, takes a typewriter out of his cavity and begins typing.]

[Cut to: Some time later, Calculon and Monique are at Boxy's deathbed, still acting at double speed.]

Monique: I'm afraid he'll never calculate again. Or he'll do so inaccurately!




Calculon: Let's do it, baby.





Monique: Bender is great!

Director: Cut! Okay, rest for scene 31,652B… [keels over and collapses, while lifter robots haul his body away]

Leela: Was that heart attack part of the script?

Bender: No, but leave it in. It's hilarious.

Leela: Fry's life is on the line. It's all up to me as executive producer. [picks up the megaphone and speaks on the wrong end] Action! [turns megaphone around] I mean, action!

[The scene changes to a medieval fortress as Calculon Flynns it up with another robot. In the following montage, we see various scenes being filmed that are barely coherent.]

Leela: Louder and funnier! Smile faster! Act better! Less nuance! That was terrible! Next scene! Action! Cut! Action! I mean, cut! Action! And… cut!

[Calculon dusts himself off as the crew cheers.]

Bender: Wow! Great writing, everyone! That's a wrap!

[bell rings]

Leela: What exactly happened in that episode?

Calculon: I won an Emmy, that's what.

Leela: Okay, everyone, take five… seconds. Next episode!

Bender: Hang on, Leela. I think the execubots have some constructive notes.

[The executives roll into the studio ominously, running over the makeup robot.]

Executive Gamma: This is very hard for me to say, Leela, so he'll say it.

Executive Beta: We love everything about this show. It's not working at all.

Executive Alpha: You're canceled!

[Executive Gamma buzzes red. Leela and Bender gasp.]

Executive Gamma: You'll always be an important part of the Fulu family. Get out!

Leela: [in tears] But, our friend, Fry… He's gonna die…

Executive Gamma: Strike the set!

[The executives leave the premises destroying the set.]

[Scene: The studio. The crew are seen cleaning up the debris of the stricken set.]

Bender: How does a show get canceled this many times? By this many networks?!

[Leela's wrist thingy rings, she answers.]

Leela: Bad news, Professor. They won't let us make any more episodes.

Farnsworth: [on wrist thingy] That is bad news. Especially, since I have good news! Kidnap the actors and get back here at once!

[Scene: The Planet Express building exterior.]

[Scene: The living room. The crew and cast are observing Fry.]

Farnsworth: Fry is down to the very last episode, but he still has one slim hope. We've got to gradually shift his focus from the streaming world back to the real world.

Leela: Is that safe?

Farnsworth: God, no! While he watches the finale on Fulu, you'll simultaneously perform it live in front of him.

Calculon: You're asking me to perform a second take?

Leela: No, no! Think of it as live theater for one unconscious audience member.

Calculon: Ah, like the Milwaukee Shakespeare Festival.

Leela: Exactly! [sits in director's chair and picks up megaphone] And action!

[Bender puffs his cigar. On the screen and live in the room, Monique and Calculon perform a double-speed waltz.]

Farnsworth: Easing Fry back to normal viewing speed.

[The waltz and the actors slow down to normal speed.]

Farnsworth: Now, we'll gradually decrease the opacity of his bingeing goggles. Gently… Gently…

[Scruffy pushes Human Friend onto a wooden horse, as Bender absentmindedly leaves the cigar in the horse's mouth.]

Calculon: Monique, Boxy, the feelings between each distinct subset of two of us are too intense to bear. We find ourselves the vertices of a classic love triangle.

Monique: It's a three-variable equation with only one solution: X = suicide.

Scruffy: Bum bum ba-ba-ba-bum…

[Bender pushes the wheeled horse with Human Friend on it into the frame.]

Human Friend: Does this love triangle have room for one more vertex?

Calculon: Technically, yes, though it would then constitute a love tetrahedron. [takes Moniques basket of explosives] Allow me to demonstrate with a model. [makes a tetrahedron out of dynamite sticks and hand grenades]

Farnsworth: Bringing Fry back to reality in three… two…

Bender: Hey, where'd I put my cigar?

[Whip pan to the wooden horse's cigar lighting up the deadly tetrahedron as it begins to blow and everyone runs for cover.]

Calculon: Zounds!

[Kaboom! Calculon woozily carries Monique in his arms.]

Calculon: [out of sorts] Thank you… Milwaukee… [faints]

[The fire alarm activates as Fry's suit begins blazing.]

Bender: Somebody other than me do something!

Amy: I'll put out the fire!

[Amy takes the giant tub of 5-Hour Battery Acid and pours it on Fry's suit.]

Hermes: No! That's battery acid!

[The suit explodes in a giant fireball as Leela helplessly watches it burn and turn to ash. The crew gathers around the dust pile.]

Amy: Oops.

Leela: He's dead! I killed him by encouraging his hopes and dreams! How could I have been so stupid?! [sobs heartily]

[The door opens and Fry emerges on the crew mourning his supposed death.]

Fry: What up?

Scruffy: Bum buuuuum, bum bum-bum-buuuuum!

Zoidberg: I'm afraid I have bad news, Fry. You're dead.

Fry: I am?

Leela: [embracing Fry] Fry! You weren't in the suit?

Fry: What? No, I got outta that thing, like, two days ago. I decided to catch up on my reading. I'm sorry, Leela. You must be pretty disappointed in me.

Leela: No, I'm just glad you're okay. And I promise I'll never be supportive again.

Fry: [hugs Leela back] Thanks, Leela. Y'know, I really did try to achieve my goal. I even turned up the playback to double speed, but I just couldn't get through the last few episodes. I mean, they were unwatchable. The writing and executive producing really went downhill towards the end.

[Leela and Bender cross their arms and look at Fry offended.]

Bender: Hey, I may not be a great writer, but at least I filled the allotted air time. [uncoils his arm to look at his watch] To… the… second, fade to black.

[The executive producer credits appear on screen, only to be interrupted by a news break.]

Morbo: We now go live to the White House for the presidential summit on the dangers of streaming television.

Linda: I understand it's destroying our young people. [laughs]

Morbo: That is my job!

[Scene: The White House. We see Fry, accompanied by the Hyperchicken, addressing Congress.]

Nixon: Arooooooo! Now, Mr. Fry, I understand you recently endured a terrible ordeal while doing something stupid involving streaming television.

Fry: That's right, Your Majesty.

Nixon: And what lesson, if any, did you learn?

Fry: Well, first, I guess, don't reboot a show if the quality isn't gonna be there.

[Congress applauds as the Hyperchicken whisper-clucks into Fry's ear.]

Fry: But, more importantly, let me say this: Viewers must binge responsibly. The same way they smoke cigarettes or drink bleach. In my opinion, they must stream no more than ten episodes in a row. [directly to the camera] And no less!

[Congress applauds once more.]

Fry: But it's not just the viewers' responsibility. Any TV show that truly cares about its audience, that loves and respects them, should… no… must be canceled every few years. It's simply the right thing to do.

[Congress applauds again.]

Hyperchicken: Ba-kawk! Ba-kawk, ba-kawk!

Fry: Thank you. [steps out of his chair and leaves]

Nixon: Sobering thoughts from some drug-addled weirdo. Goodnight, God bless Earth, and haroo.

[Closing Credits.]

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