Transcript:Zapp Dingbat

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Transcript for
Zapp Dingbat
Written by	Eric Rogers
Transcribed by	Sanfazer

[Note: This transcript is based on the Countdown to Futurama post "The Treaty of Table 7" - of 29 May 2012.]

[Scene: A table overlooking Saturn. On one side are Zapp and Kif and on the other are two creatures whose heads resemble shark fins. In front of Zapp is a cocktail glass and in front of the two creatures are two regular glasses.]

Zapp: [speaking into something] Now, regarding this peace treaty, Admiral Chew—

Kif: That's a napkin dispenser, sir. This is the universal translator.

[Kif places a universal translator from "A Clone of My Own" on the table and then one of its two speakers on each side.]

Zapp: Whatever. [Zapp drops the napkin dispenser - but Kif catches it. Zapp grabs his speaker.] Now, Admiral, in exchange for your promise not to attack us, we will grant you exclusive fishing rights in Supernova Scotia.

[The machine makes strange sounds. Kif looks at it. One of the creatures - who has grabbed its speaker - makes similar sounds as it shrugs.]

Universal translator: Well, okay.

Zapp: Excellent. We'll meet aboard my ship in one month to sign the Treaty of Table 7.

[Zapp points at the table. The machine makes more strange sounds.]

Universal translator: Table 7...

[The machines makes further sounds.]

Zapp: Now, watch, Kif, as I score a diplomatic coop by congratulating the admiral in 'is native tongue.

Kif: Last time you tried that, the Mexican restaurant declared war on us. [Kif raises his hands, shrugs and crosses them.] I beg you! Just use the translator.

Zapp: Kif... Just trust me for once.

[Zapp makes burping sounds. The creatures look angry. Kif looks scared.]

Universal translator: I'd like to spank your sister with a slice of baloney.

[Kif looks shocked. Zapp laughs nervously.]

Zapp: Oops.

References

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