Difference between revisions of "Transcript:Space Pilot 3000"

From The Infosphere, the Futurama Wiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
m (Nav fix.)
Line 6: Line 6:
|next ep=The Series Has Landed
|next ep=The Series Has Landed
}}
}}
:''['''Scene''': The caption "December 31st, 1999" comes up and a crude spaceship flies through space, cruising over and under planets.]''
                                        FUTURAMA
<poem>'''[[Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': [voice-over] Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.</poem>
                                      Episode 101
:''[A planet opens up and a huge gorilla starts throwing barrels at the spaceship. It dodges a few but one hits it and it explodes. The gorilla thumps its chest and "Game Over" flashes on the screen. The spaceship and gorilla isn't real and Fry is playing an arcade game called "Monkey Fracas Jr". He wears a red jacket and has orange hair with two distinct forks at the front. A boy stands next to him. The game is against the wall in a pizzeria called Panucci's Pizza.]''
                                  "SPACE PILOT 3000"
<poem>'''Fry''': And ''that's'' how you play the game!</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[20th Century kid|Boy]]''': You stink, loser!</poem>
                                          by
:''[Panucci, a middle-aged balding man wearing a vest, leans over the counter with a pizza box.]''
                            David X. Cohen & Matt Groening
<poem>'''[[Mr. Panucci|Panucci]]''': Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!</poem>
 
:''[Fry sighs, takes the pizza from him and walks out
              [Over the caption December 31st 1999 a crude spaceship flies
              through space, cruising over and under planets and a man speaks.]
             
             
                                    MAN
                        (voice-over) Space. It seems to go on
                        and on forever. But then you get to
                        the end and the gorilla starts throwing
                        barrels at you.
             
              [A planet opens up and a huge gorilla starts throwing barrels
              at the spaceship. It dodges a few but one hits it and it explodes.
              The gorilla thumps its chest and "Game Over" flashes on the screen.
              The spaceship and gorilla isn't real and the man, called Fry,
              was playing an arcade game called "Monkey Fracas Jr". He is in
              his mid-20s, wears a red jacket and has orange hair with two
              distinct forks at the front. There is a little kid standing next
              to him. The game is against the wall in a pizzeria called Panucci's
              Pizza.]
             
                                    FRY
                        And that's how you play the game!
 
             
                                    KID
                        You stink, loser!
 
             
              [Mr Panucci, a middle-aged balding man wearing a vest, leans
              over the counter with a pizza box.]
             
                                    PANUCCI
                        Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!
                       
             
              [Fry sighs, takes the pizza from him and walks out.]
 
             
              [New York Street. Fry cycles past people enjoying their New Millennium
              Eve. A cab pulls up and he sees his girlfriend inside.]
             
                                    FRY
                        Michelle, baby! Where you going?
 
             
                                    MICHELLE
                        It's not working out, Fry.  I put your
                        stuff out on the sidewalk!
             
              [Time Lapse. Fry is still on his bike getting more and more depressed.]
             
             
                                    FRY
                        I hate my life I hate my life I hate
                        my life.
             
              [Cut to: Outside Applied Cryogenics. He stops outside a building
              and locks up his bike. A man sneaks up behind him, cuts the chain
              and steals his bike.]
             
                                    BIKE THIEF
                        Happy new year!
 
             
              [Applied Cryogenics. Fry steps out of the elevator on the 64th
              floor. He knocks on a door marked Applied Cryogenics. A sign
              underneath indicates No Power Failures Since 199[7]. No one opens
              the door so Fry goes in.]
             
              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. The room is empty and there are no lights
              on. Strange pods about 6ft tall line one of the walls. There
              are a few other machines around the room and a desk and a chair
              in the middle of the room. Fry wipes some condensation from a
              window on one of the pods, revealing the face of an inanimate
              man inside. He turns around.]
             
                                    FRY
                        Hello? Pizza delivery for......Icy Wiener?!
                        Aw, crud! I always thought at this point
                        in my life I'd be the one making the
                        crank calls!  Here's to another lousy
                        millennium.
             
              [He unenthusiastically raises his hand and toasts.]
 
             
              [Cut to: Time Square. Crowds have gathered for the countdown.
              10 appears on a huge screen.]
             
                                    CROWD
                        Ten!
 
             
              [Cut to: Paris. A screen on the Eiffel Tower displays 9.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Neuf!
 
             
              [Cut to: Vatican City. The Pope holds up a sign with "VIII" on
              it.]
             
                                    CROWD
                        Otto!
 
             
              [Cut to: Egypt. Egyptians crowd around the pyramids.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Sabaa!
 
             
              [Cut to: Athens. People are gathered around the Parthelon.]
             
             
                                    CROWD
                        Eksi!
 
             
              [Cut to: Great Wall Of China.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Wu!
 
             
              [Cut to: Taj Mahal.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Chaar!
 
             
              [Cut to: African Village.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Thathu!
 
             
              [Cut to: Tokyo. A screen displays 2.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        Wu!
 
             
              [From space the whole planet sees in the new millennium.]
 
             
                                    CROWD
                        One!
 
             
              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. Fry unenthusiastically blows a party
              blower and starts losing his balance on the chair. It tips back.
              Fry waves his arms around trying to regain his balance. As he
              falls he doesn't see the shadow of a small creature under the
              desk. The chair tips back and Fry falls off it and rolls backwards
              into cryogenic freezer number 40. The dial on the machine automatically
              sets itself for 1000 years.]
             
                                    FRY
                        What the?
 
             
              [He looks around and screams. In a flash he is frozen in time.]
             
             
              [Time Lapse.Days and nights and eventually years pass à la The
              Time Machine as he stays locked in the freezer. Civilisation
              is destroyed by aliens twice until eventually huge buildings
              spring up around Applied Cryogenics. The timer stops 1000 years
              later and the door opens. Fry is unfrozen. Initially disorientated,
              he stumbles around and notices something to his right. He presses
              his face against a large window and stares in awe.]
             
                                    FRY
                        My God! It's the future. My parents,
                        my co-workers, my girlfriend. I'll never
                        see any of them again. Yahoo!
             
              [Opening Credits. Caption: In Color.]
 
             
              [Cryogenics Lab. Fry is still looking out of the window. The
              door opens and two shadows walk in.]
             
                                    MAN
                        (dramatically) Welcome to the world
                        of tomorrow!
             
              [The other shadow turns on the light. They are lab technicians
              both wearing white lab coats. The dramatic one is called Terry.
              He is a blonde Caucasian with large glasses. The other is called
              Lou, a black haired Asian.]
             
                                    LOU
                        Why do you always have to say it that
                        way?
             
                                    TERRY
                        Haven't you ever heard of a little thing
                        called showmanship?  (dramatically)
                        Come, your destiny awaits!
             
              [Applied Cryogenics Corridor. The technicians leave Fry outside
              the Fate Assignment Officer's office.]
             
                                    LOU
                        Have a nice future.
 
             
              [The door slides open.]
 
 
{{navigation bottom/transcript
{{navigation bottom/transcript
|prev ep=
|prev ep= N/A
|next ep=The Series Has Landed
|next ep=The Series Has Landed
}}
}}

Revision as of 17:01, 19 April 2008

Transcript for
Space Pilot 3000
Written byDavid X. Cohen & Matt Groening
Transcribed byThe Neutral Planet
                                       FUTURAMA
                                      Episode 101 
                                  "SPACE PILOT 3000"
                                          by
                            David X. Cohen & Matt Groening
              [Over the caption December 31st 1999 a crude spaceship flies 
              through space, cruising over and under planets and a man speaks.]

              
              
                                    MAN
                        (voice-over) Space. It seems to go on 
                        and on forever. But then you get to 
                        the end and the gorilla starts throwing 
                        barrels at you.

              
              [A planet opens up and a huge gorilla starts throwing barrels 
              at the spaceship. It dodges a few but one hits it and it explodes. 
              The gorilla thumps its chest and "Game Over" flashes on the screen. 
              The spaceship and gorilla isn't real and the man, called Fry, 
              was playing an arcade game called "Monkey Fracas Jr". He is in 
              his mid-20s, wears a red jacket and has orange hair with two 
              distinct forks at the front. There is a little kid standing next 
              to him. The game is against the wall in a pizzeria called Panucci's 
              Pizza.]

              
                                    FRY
                        And that's how you play the game!


                                    KID
                        You stink, loser!


              [Mr Panucci, a middle-aged balding man wearing a vest, leans 
              over the counter with a pizza box.]

              
                                    PANUCCI
                        Hey, Fry. Pizza goin' out! C'mon!!

                        
              
              [Fry sighs, takes the pizza from him and walks out.]


              [New York Street. Fry cycles past people enjoying their New Millennium 
              Eve. A cab pulls up and he sees his girlfriend inside.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Michelle, baby! Where you going?


                                    MICHELLE
                        It's not working out, Fry.   I put your 
                        stuff out on the sidewalk!

              
              [Time Lapse. Fry is still on his bike getting more and more depressed.]

              
              
                                    FRY
                        I hate my life I hate my life I hate 
                        my life.

              
              [Cut to: Outside Applied Cryogenics. He stops outside a building 
              and locks up his bike. A man sneaks up behind him, cuts the chain 
              and steals his bike.]

              
                                    BIKE THIEF
                        Happy new year!


              [Applied Cryogenics. Fry steps out of the elevator on the 64th 
              floor. He knocks on a door marked Applied Cryogenics. A sign 
              underneath indicates No Power Failures Since 199[7]. No one opens 
              the door so Fry goes in.]

              
              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. The room is empty and there are no lights 
              on. Strange pods about 6ft tall line one of the walls. There 
              are a few other machines around the room and a desk and a chair 
              in the middle of the room. Fry wipes some condensation from a 
              window on one of the pods, revealing the face of an inanimate 
              man inside. He turns around.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Hello? Pizza delivery for......Icy Wiener?! 
                        Aw, crud! I always thought at this point 
                        in my life I'd be the one making the 
                        crank calls!  Here's to another lousy 
                        millennium.

              
              [He unenthusiastically raises his hand and toasts.]


              [Cut to: Time Square. Crowds have gathered for the countdown. 
              10 appears on a huge screen.]

              
                                    CROWD
                        Ten!


              [Cut to: Paris. A screen on the Eiffel Tower displays 9.]


                                    CROWD
                        Neuf!


              [Cut to: Vatican City. The Pope holds up a sign with "VIII" on 
              it.]

              
                                    CROWD
                        Otto!


              [Cut to: Egypt. Egyptians crowd around the pyramids.]


                                    CROWD
                        Sabaa!


              [Cut to: Athens. People are gathered around the Parthelon.]

              
              
                                    CROWD
                        Eksi!


              [Cut to: Great Wall Of China.]


                                    CROWD
                        Wu!


              [Cut to: Taj Mahal.]


                                    CROWD
                        Chaar!


              [Cut to: African Village.]


                                    CROWD
                        Thathu!


              [Cut to: Tokyo. A screen displays 2.]


                                    CROWD
                        Wu!


              [From space the whole planet sees in the new millennium.]


                                    CROWD
                        One!


              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. Fry unenthusiastically blows a party 
              blower and starts losing his balance on the chair. It tips back. 
              Fry waves his arms around trying to regain his balance. As he 
              falls he doesn't see the shadow of a small creature under the 
              desk. The chair tips back and Fry falls off it and rolls backwards 
              into cryogenic freezer number 40. The dial on the machine automatically 
              sets itself for 1000 years.]

              
                                    FRY
                        What the?


              [He looks around and screams. In a flash he is frozen in time.]

              
              
              [Time Lapse.Days and nights and eventually years pass à la The 
              Time Machine as he stays locked in the freezer. Civilisation 
              is destroyed by aliens twice until eventually huge buildings 
              spring up around Applied Cryogenics. The timer stops 1000 years 
              later and the door opens. Fry is unfrozen. Initially disorientated, 
              he stumbles around and notices something to his right. He presses 
              his face against a large window and stares in awe.]

              
                                    FRY
                        My God! It's the future. My parents, 
                        my co-workers, my girlfriend. I'll never 
                        see any of them again. Yahoo!

              
              [Opening Credits. Caption: In Color.]


              [Cryogenics Lab. Fry is still looking out of the window. The 
              door opens and two shadows walk in.]

              
                                    MAN
                        (dramatically) Welcome to the world 
                        of tomorrow!

              
              [The other shadow turns on the light. They are lab technicians 
              both wearing white lab coats. The dramatic one is called Terry. 
              He is a blonde Caucasian with large glasses. The other is called 
              Lou, a black haired Asian.]

              
                                    LOU
                        Why do you always have to say it that 
                        way?

              
                                    TERRY
                        Haven't you ever heard of a little thing 
                        called showmanship?  (dramatically) 
                        Come, your destiny awaits!

              
              [Applied Cryogenics Corridor. The technicians leave Fry outside 
              the Fate Assignment Officer's office.]

              
                                    LOU
                        Have a nice future.


              [The door slides open.]


                                    FRY
                        Cool! Just like in Star Trek!  Ow!

                        
              
              [Cut to: Fate Assignment Officer's Office. A woman wearing a 
              black uniform stands with her back to Fry looking at a clipboard. 
              She has purple hair held up in a ponytail.]

              
                                    WOMAN
                        Good afternoon, sir.  Name?


                                    FRY
                        Uh, Fry.


                                    WOMAN
                        I'm Leela. Now it's New Year's Eve so 
                        I'd like to decide your fate quickly 
                        and get out of here.

              
                                    FRY
                        Can I ask you a question?


                                    LEELA
                        As long as it's not about my eye.


                                    FRY
                        Uh...


                                    LEELA
                        Is it about my eye?


                                    FRY
                        Sort of.


              [Leela sighs.]


                                    LEELA
                        Just ask the question.


                                    FRY
                        What's with the eye?


                                    LEELA
                        I'm an alien, alright? Now let's drop 
                        the subject.

              
                                    FRY
                        Cool, an alien! Has your race taken 
                        over the Earth?

              
                                    LEELA
                        No, I just work here.


              [Fry looks out the window. A passing blimp wishes people a Happy 
              New Year 3000. Leela follows his gaze.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Wait a minute! Is that blimp accurate?

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                        Yep. It's December 31st 2999.


                                    FRY
                        My God, a million years!


                                    LEELA
                        I'm sure this must be very upsetting 
                        for you.

              
                                    FRY
                        Y'know, I guess it should be but actually 
                        I'm glad. I had nothing to live for 
                        in my old life. I was broke, I had a 
                        humiliating job and I was beginning 
                        to suspect my girlfriend might be cheating 
                        on me.

              
                                    LEELA
                        Well, at least here you'll be treated 
                        with dignity. Now strip naked and get 
                        on the probulator.

              
              [Probulator Room. Fry lies on a metal table surrounded by lots 
              of things designed to probe him. Leela puts a single lensed goggle 
              on and presses a button. Fry squeaks.]

              
              [Time Lapse. Leela tears off a printout and reads it while Fry 
              starts to get dressed.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        Interesting. Your DNA test shows one 
                        living relative. He's your great great 
                        great great great great great...

              
              [Time Lapse. Fry is now fully dressed.]


                                    LEELA
                        ...great great great great great nephew.

                        
              
                                    FRY
                        That's great! What's the little guy's 
                        name?

              
                                    LEELA
                        Professor Hubert Farnsworth.


              [She turns the page over to show Fry the photo. Farnsworth is 
              an old bald man who wears thick glasses.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Eurgh!


              [Fate Assignment Officer's Office. Leela types something on a 
              computer.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Y'know, I'm the luckiest guy in the 
                        whole future. I've been given a second 
                        chance and this time I'm not going to 
                        be a total loser.  What's that?

              
                                    LEELA
                        Your permanent career assignment.


              [She turns the screen around to show him his career. "Career: 
              Delivery Boy" is all that is written on the screen.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Delivery boy? No! Not again! Please! 
                        Anything else!

              
              [He grabs Leela's hand.]


                                    LEELA
                        Take your hands off me! You've been 
                        assigned the job you're best at just 
                        like everyone else.

              
                                    FRY
                        What if I refuse?


                                    LEELA
                        Then you'll be fired...


                                    FRY
                        Fine!


                                    LEELA
                        ...out of a cannon into the Sun!


                                    FRY
                        But I don't like being a delivery boy.

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                        Well that's tough! Lots of people don't 
                        like their jobs but we do them anyway. 
                         You gotta do what you gotta do! Now 
                        hold out your hand, I'm gonna implant 
                        your career chip. It'll permanently 
                        label you as a delivery boy.

              
              [She picks up an implant gun. It has two huge spikes on the end.]

              
              
                                    FRY
                        Keep that thing away from me!


              [He gets up and runs out of the room.]


              [Cut to: Applied Cryogenics Corridor. He runs from the office 
              into another room.]

              
              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. Leela runs in after Fry and he dodges 
              the implant gun.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        Hold still, damnit. I don't have good 
                        depth perception!  You've got until 
                        the count of five to let me out of here. 
                        One...

              
              [In a flash she is frozen.]


                                    FRY
                        See you in a thousand years!  You owe 
                        me one.

              
              [New New York Street. Fry runs out of the building and looks 
              in awe at the sights around him.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Whoa!


              [Spaceships take off, there are traffic jams in the sky and billboards 
              advertising Bachelor Chow. A couple walk past him nearly naked 
              except for some strategically placed black bars. He looks up 
              and sees people flying through a green tube overhead. He walks 
              around a corner and finds an entrance to the tube. A pedestrian 
              steps in.]

              
                                    MAN #1
                        JFK Jr. Airport.


              [The man is sucked up into the tube.]


                                    FRY
                        Cool!  Um. Cross Town Express?


              [The tube sucks him up and he screams as he flies through it. 
              People look up from the street and stare at him. He is taken 
              across the city, past the Statue of Liberty, underwater and finally 
              out the other end smack into a building. A man looks up from 
              his newspaper.]

              
                                    MAN #2
                        Pft! Tourist!


              [Time Lapse. A hover-car flies over a line of traffic on the 
              road and a police car chases it. Fry walks around a corner and 
              sees a line of people outside a small grey booth.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Hey! A phone booth! I can call my nephew. 
                         Wow, a real live robot! Or is that 
                        some kind of cheesy New Year's costume?

                        
              
                                    ROBOT
                        Bite my shiny metal ass.


              [Fry looks around at the robot's ass.]


                                    FRY
                        It doesn't look so shiny to me.


                                    ROBOT
                        Shinier than yours, meatbag!


              [Fry steps into the phone booth. He overlooks the important sign 
              outside that differentiates it from normal phone booths. It is 
              actually a suicide booth.]

              
              [Cut to: Suicide Booth. Fry presses a button and nothing happens. 
              The robot steps in behind him.]

              
                                    ROBOT
                        Listen, buddy, I'm in a hurry here. 
                        Let's try for a twofer!

              
              [He puts a coin on a string in the slot then pulls it out again 
              and chuckles. A pleasant woman's voice speaks.]

              
                                    BOOTH VOICE
                        Please select mode of death: "Quick 
                        And Painless" or "Slow And Horrible".

                        
              
                                    FRY
                        Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call.

                        
              
                                    BOOTH VOICE
                        You have selected: "Slow And Horrible".

                        
              
                                    ROBOT
                        Great choice!  Bring it on, baby!


              [Fry screams.]


              [Time Lapse. The robot is getting impatient.]


                                    ROBOT
                        C'mon, c'mon! Kill me already! By the 
                        way, my name's Bender!

              
              [He holds out his hand.]


                                    FRY
                        Help! What's happening?


              [The sharp things lunge at them. Fry pushes Bender to the side 
              of the booth. The sharp things stab and twist at the air and 
              finally return to behind the hatch.]

              
                                    BOOTH VOICE
                        You are now dead. Thank you for using 
                        Stop-N-Drop, America's favourite suicide 
                        booth since 2008.

              
              [Cut to: New New York Street. Fry runs out gasping.]


                                    BENDER
                        Lousy stinking rip-off!  Well I didn't 
                        have anything else planned for today. 
                        Let's go get drunk!

              
              [Cryogenics Lab. The timer on Leela's chamber runs out. The door 
              opens and she defrosts.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        ...two, three -- Hey!


                                    TERRY
                        (dramatically) Welcome to the world 
                        of tomorrow!

              
                                    LEELA
                        Shut up, Terry.


              [Ipgee's Office. Leela's boss sits behind a large desk and she 
              stands in front of it.]

              
                                    IPGEE
                        This is unacceptable, Leela. You must 
                        find this Mr. Fry and install his chip.

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                        Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't 
                        want to be a delivery boy. I'd really 
                        rather not force it on him.

              
                                    IPGEE
                        Well that's your job, whether you like 
                        it or not and it's my job to make you 
                        do your job whether I like it or not 
                        - which I do - very much! Now get to 
                        work!  Life is good!

              
              [O'Zorgnax's Pub. Fry and Bender are sat at the bar. Bender drinks 
              a bottle of Olde Fortran malt liquor.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Why would a robot need to drink?


                                    BENDER
                        I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime 
                        I want!  So they made you a delivery 
                        boy, huh? Man, that's as bad as my job.

                        
              
                                    FRY
                        Really? What do you do Bender?


                                    BENDER
                        I'm a bender. I bend girders, that's 
                        all I'm programmed to do.

              
                                    FRY
                        You any good at it?


                                    BENDER
                        You kidding? I was a star! I could bend 
                        a girder to any angle: 30 degrees, 32 
                        degrees, you name it! (unsure) 31. (normal) 
                        But I couldn't go on living once I found 
                        out what the girders were for.

              
                                    FRY
                        What?


                                    BENDER
                        Suicide booths!  Well, Fry, it was a 
                        pleasure meeting you, I'm gonna go kill 
                        myself.

              
              [He gets up.]


                                    FRY
                        Wait! You're the only friend I have!

                        
              
                                    BENDER
                        You really want a robot for a friend?

                        
              
                                    FRY
                        Yeah, ever since I was six.


                                    BENDER
                        Well, OK. But I don't want people thinking 
                        we're robo-sexuals, so if anyone asks, 
                        you're my debugger.

              
              [Fry looks out the window and sees Leela.]


                                    FRY
                        Oh, no, it's the Cyclops!  Don't look! 
                        Don't look!

              
                                    BENDER
                        I'm not looking!


              [His eyes zoom in to Leela.]


              [Cut to: New New York Street. Leela shows Fry's photo to a man. 
              The man points to him inside the pub. Fry and Bender run off. 
              Leela talks into her wrist communicator.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        This is officer 1B-DI requesting back-up.

                        
              
              [The cops, Smitty the human and URL the robot, are standing right 
              behind Leela. Smitty replies in his wrist communicator.]

              
                                    SMITTY
                        We'll be there in five minutes.


              [Outside Head Museum. Bender stops Fry outside the building.]

              
              
                                    BENDER
                        We can hide in here, it's free on Tuesdays.

                        
              
              [He runs up the steps dragging Fry behind him.]


              [Cut to: Head Museum. Hundreds of heads in jars are stacked on 
              shelves. Leonard Nimoy's head in a jar is on a platform in the 
              middle of one of the rooms.]

              
                                    NIMOY
                        Welcome to the Head Museum. I'm Leonard 
                        Nimoy.

              
                                    FRY
                        Spock? Hey! Do the thing!


              [He does the Vulcan salute from Star Trek. Nimoy chuckles.]

              
              
                                    NIMOY
                        I don't do that anymore.


                                    FRY
                        This is unbelievable! What do you heads 
                        do all day?

              
                                    NIMOY
                        We share our wisdom with those who seek 
                        it. It's a life of quiet dignity.

                        
              
              [Enter a woman.]


                                    WOMAN
                        Feeding time!


              [She shakes a box of what looks like fish food over the jar. 
              Nimoy eats what comes out.]

              
              [The door opens and Fry turns around. Enter Leela, Smitty and 
              URL.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        Hmm.


              [She looks around and sees Fry and Bender hiding behind a shelf 
              in amongst other assorted heads.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install 
                        your career chip.

              
                                    FRY
                        Yeah, well, if you're sorry why are 
                        you doing it?

              
                                    LEELA
                        It's my job. You gotta do what you gotta 
                        do!

              
              [Fry backs away and hits a shelf with the heads of US presidents 
              on it.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        Watch it!


              [Richard Nixon's head falls off. The jar smashes.]


                                    NIXON
                        That's it! You just made my list!


              [He jumps up and starts biting Fry's arm.]


                                    FRY
                        Ow! Stoppit! Down boy! Bad president!

                        
              
              [Bender tries to pull Nixon's head off.]


                                    SMITTY
                        Alright, buddy, step away from the head!

                        
              
              [Fry and Bender put their hands up.]


                                    URL
                        I'm gonna get 24th century on his ass!

                        
              
              [They turn on their lightsabers and start to hit Fry.]


                                    LEELA
                        Please, officers, there's no need to 
                        use force.

              
                                    URL
                        Let us handle this, weirdy.


              [He hits Bender.]


                                    LEELA
                        Oh, come on, he's just a poor kid from 
                        the Stupid Ages.

              
                                    SMITTY
                        Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball!

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                        No-one makes fun of my nose.


              [She kicks Smitty and URL. Fry and Bender run off and hide in 
              a room.]

              
                                    URL
                        Damn!


                                    LEELA
                        You guys were totally out of control.

                        
              
                                    SMITTY
                        It's our job. We're peace officers.

                        
              
                                    URL
                        Yeah, you know the law: You gotta do 
                        what you gotta do.

              
              [Leela considers.]


              [Head Museum Hall Of Criminals. Bender locks the door.]


                                    BENDER
                        Oh, we're trapped!


              [Fry looks to the end of the room. There is a window with bars 
              across it.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Wait a second. You're a bender, right? 
                        We can get out of here if you just bend 
                        the bars.

              
                                    BENDER
                        Dream on, skin tube. I'm only programmed 
                        to bend for constructive purposes. What 
                        do I look like, a de-bender?

              
                                    FRY
                        Who cares what you're programmed for. 
                        If someone programmed you to jump off 
                        a bridge would you do it?

              
                                    BENDER
                        I'll have to check my program...yep.

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                         Open up!


                                    FRY
                        C'mon, Bender! It's up to you to make 
                        your own decisions in life. That's what 
                        separates people and robots from animals...and 
                        animal robots.

              
                                    BENDER
                        You're full of crap, Fry!  You make 
                        a persuasive argument, Fry.

              
              [He starts to bend the bars.]


                                    FRY
                        Come on, Bender! You can do it.


                                    BENDER
                        Can't...I...can't...do...it!


              [The bars bend and break off completely.]


                                    FRY
                        Yes!


                                    BENDER
                        You were right, Fry! From now on I'm 
                        going to bend what I want, when I want, 
                        who I want! I'm unstoppable!

              
              [His arms fall off but he manages to somehow reattach them without 
              any help.]

              
                                    FRY
                        I don't know how you did that.


              [Leela kicks the door open. Fry and Bender dive out through the 
              window.]

              
              [Cut to: Outside Head Museum. Fry runs off and Bender bends the 
              bars back so Leela can't climb through. He runs after Fry and 
              Leela reaches out through the bars.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        Wait!


                                    BENDER
                        (shouting) No, thanks.


              [Cut to: Alley. Fry and Bender stop at a dead end. There is a 
              drain below them with a grate over the top.]

              
                                    BENDER
                        Looks like one of us will have to bend 
                        this grate.

              
              [He flexes his fingers but Fry just lifts it. Bender sighs and 
              they climb down the ladder. He reaches back up to the grate and 
              bends it just for the hell of it. He chuckles and follows Fry.]

              
              
              [Ruins Of Old New York. Fry and Bender step off the ladder and 
              look over the vast ruins of the city that looks like the city 
              from Beneath The Planet Of The Apes. Collapsed buildings and 
              rubble litter the streets and holes in the roof let in a few 
              shafts of light, giving the place and eerie atmosphere.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Good Lord! What is this?


                                    BENDER
                        It's the decaying ruins of Old New York. 
                        Welcome home, pal!

              
              [Time Lapse. Fry and Bender walk down an old ruined street.]

              
              
                                    FRY
                        Its my old neighbourhood. Man, this 
                        brings back a lot of memories.

              
                                    BENDER
                        Keep 'em to yourself, pops.


              [Cut to: Ruins of Rockefeller Center Skating Rink. Fry leans 
              over a wall.]

              
                                    FRY
                        This is where I brought my girlfriend 
                        on our very first date.

              
              [Flashback. Fry skates with Michelle on the crowded ice.]


              [Flashback ends. The ice is gone, replaced with murky green waters 
              inhabited by a green tentacled creature.]

              
                                    FRY
                        My God! She's gone. Everyone I ever 
                        knew or cared about is gone.

              
                                    BENDER
                        Wait! There's someone you know!


              [He points at Leela, standing with her implant gun.]


                                    FRY
                        Oh, can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable 
                        enough already.

              
                                    LEELA
                        Look, I know it's not much consolation 
                        but I understand how you feel.

              
                                    FRY
                        No, you don't. I've got no home, no 
                        family...

              
              [Bender leans in behind him.]


                                    BENDER
                        No friends.


                                    FRY
                        ...My whole world is gone. You can't 
                        possibly understand what it feels like 
                        to be so alone.

              
                                    LEELA
                        I understand. I'm the only one-eyed 
                        alien on this whole planet. My parents 
                        abandoned me here as a baby and I don't 
                        even know what galaxy they were from. 
                        I know how it feels to be alone.

              
                                    FRY
                        Look, Leela, I don't understand this 
                        world but you obviously do, so I give 
                        up. If you really think I should be 
                        a delivery boy, I'll do it.  Your chip. 
                        What are you doing?

              
                                    LEELA
                        Quitting.


                                    FRY
                        Why?


                                    LEELA
                        Because I've always wanted to. I just 
                        never realised it before I met you.

                        
              
              [She puts her hand on his and smiles. Bender puts his hand on 
              top.]

              
                                    FRY
                        What is the matter with you?


              [Bender quickly takes his hand off.]


                                    BENDER
                        I just wanted to be part of the moment.

                        
              
                                    LEELA
                        Hey, he stole my ring!


                                    BENDER
                        Sorry.  Well, that solves the mystery 
                        of the missing ring. This calls for 
                        a drink.

              
              [He reaches into his chest cabinet and pulls out three bottles 
              of beer...and drinks them all himself.]

              
                                    LEELA
                        I don't wanna spoil the party but we're 
                        all job deserters now. We're unemployed 
                        and we have nowhere to go.

              
                                    FRY
                        Correction. We're unemployed but we 
                        have a doddering old relative to mooch 
                        off of.

              
              [He holds up the picture of Farnsworth.]


              [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lounge. Professor Farnsworth is 
              asleep in his chair. The TV is on and Dick Clark's head presents 
              and a programme.]

              
                                    CLARK [ON TV]
                        Hello, I'm Dick Clark's head. Welcome 
                        to a special year 3000 edition of New 
                        Year's Rockin' Eve!

              
              [The crowds around him cheer. The doorbell rings and Farnsworth 
              wakes up.]

              
              [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. Farnsworth opens the door to 
              Fry, Bender and Leela.]

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Who are you?


                                    FRY
                        I'm your dear old Uncle Fry.


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        I don't have an Uncle Fry.


                                    BENDER
                        You do now!


              [He pushes Farnsworth back inside.]


              [Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lounge. Farnsworth and Fry are 
              hooked up to a DNA machine. It dings and a red light flashes.]

              
              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        By God, I am your nephew! This is absolutely 
                        incredible!

              
                                    BENDER
                        Can we have some money?


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Oh, my, no.


              [Cut to: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab. The four walk in.]

              
              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Let me show you around. That's my lab 
                        table and this is my work-stool. And 
                        over there is my intergalactic spaceship! 
                         And here's where I keep assorted lengths 
                        of wire.

              
              [He opens a drawer but Fry is more interested in what's in the 
              hangar.]

              
                                    FRY
                        Whoa! A real live spaceship!


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        I designed it myself. Let me show you 
                        some of the different lengths of wire 
                        I used.

              
                                    SMITTY
                         Attention, job deserters! Come out 
                        with your hands up. We have you partially 
                        surrounded.

              
              [Leela gasps.]


                                    FRY
                        No!


              [Bender literally shits a brick.]


              [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. Smitty holds Nixon's head in 
              a jar. The glass is cracked and taped in places.]

              
                                    NIXON
                        Get those bums!


              [Cut to: Planet Express: Farnsworth's Lab.]


                                    BENDER
                        Well, we're boned!


                                    LEELA
                        Can't we get away in the ship?


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        I suppose it is technically possible. 
                        Though I am already in my pyjamas.

                        
              
              [Fry and Leela run towards the ship and Bender carries Farnsworth 
              under his arm.]

              
              [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry runs in and sit in a seat in front 
              of a control panel.]

              
                                    FRY
                        I'll get us out of here.


              [He presses a few buttons and pulls a lever. A little hatch opens 
              in the control panel, a paper cup come down and the machine fills 
              it with coffee.]

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Can anyone drive stick?


                                    LEELA
                        I can. As long as I don't have to parallel 
                        park.

              
              [She takes off her coat, sits in the pilot's seat and pushes 
              down a lever.]

              
              [Cut to: Planet Express: Hangar. Klaxons beep and a huge piece 
              of machinery lifts the ship to a 45-degree angle. The entire 
              hangar roof retracts so it is open for the ship.]

              
              [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. There are now many peace officers 
              all armed with laser rifles stationed outside. URL sees the roof 
              open.]

              
                                    URL
                        If they try to take off, give 'em an 
                        ass-ful of laser.

              
              [Smitty nods.]


              [Cut to: Ships Cockpit.]


                                    LEELA
                        Prepare for lift-off. Ten.


              [Cut to: Time Square.]


                                    CROWD
                        Nine!


              [Cut to: Egypt. The future pyramids now rotate in mid air.]

              
              
                                    CROWD
                        Amania!


              [Cut to: Paris.]


                                    CROWD
                        Seven!


              [Cut to: Alien Ship.]


                                    ALIENS
                        (in alien) Six.


              [Cut to: Cryogenics Lab. Lou sits in an open pod and Terry raises 
              a glass.]

              
                                    TERRY
                        (dramatically) Five!


              [Cut to: Head Museum. Leonard Nimoy is wearing a party hat.]

              
              
                                    NIMOY
                        Four.


              [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. Fry, Bender and Farnsworth are sat on 
              a couch at the front of the cockpit.]

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Three.


                                    BENDER
                        Two.


              [He is so tense that he rips the arms off the couch.]


                                    LEELA
                        One!


                                    FRY
                        Blast-off!


              [Cut to: Outside Planet Express. The ship takes off.]


              [Cut to: Times Square. People cheer in the new millennium and 
              fireworks explode all over the city. "3000" is projected onto 
              the moon and the ship flies between the fireworks.]

              
              [Cut to: Outside Planet Express.]


                                    NIXON
                        Fire! Fire!


              [The peace officers fire their laser gun randomly into the air.]

              
              
                                    SMITTY
                        I can't see nothing. Pretty though!

                        
              
              [The altitude of the ship increases and laser bolts narrowly 
              miss it.]

              
              [Cut to: Ships Cockpit. The ship clears New New York airspace, 
              flies through the atmosphere and heads through the solar system. 
              Everyone cheers.]

              
                                    FRY
                        So I guess without jobs, we'll be fugitives 
                        forever.

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Not necessarily. Are you three, by any 
                        chance, interested in becoming my new 
                        spaceship crew?

              
                                    BENDER
                        New crew? W-What happened to the old 
                        crew?

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Of those poor sons of -- but that's 
                        not important. The important thing is 
                        I need a new crew. Anyone interested?

                        
              
                                    FRY
                        Yes! Yes! That's exactly the job I've 
                        always wanted!

              
                                    LEELA
                        Thanks for the offer, Professor, but 
                        we don't have the proper career chips.

                        
              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck 
                        would have it I saved the chips from 
                        my previous crew.

              
              [He empties the career chips out of an envelope marked "Contents 
              Of Space Wasps Stomach".]

              
                                    FRY
                        This is awesome! Are we gonna fly through 
                        space fighting monsters and teaching 
                        alien women to lurve?

              
                                    FARNSWORTH
                        If by that you mean "transporting cargo" 
                        then yes. It's a little home business 
                        I started to fund my research.

              
                                    FRY
                        Cool! What's my job gonna be?


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        You will be responsible for ensuring 
                        that the cargo reaches its destination.

                        
              
              [The smile fades from Fry's face.]


                                    FRY
                        So, I'm gonna be a delivery boy?


                                    FARNSWORTH
                        Exactly!


              [Fry thinks for a moment but doesn't seem to mind.]


                                    FRY
                        Alright! I'm a delivery boy!


              [He waves his hands in the air and the ship flies on.]


                                  THE END.