Difference between revisions of "Transcript:Proposition Infinity"

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|for=Proposition Infinity
|for=Proposition Infinity
|written by=[[Michael Rowe]]
|written by=[[Michael Rowe]]
|credit= [[User:Teyrn of Highever|Teyrn of Highever]]
|credit=[[User:Teyrn of Highever|Teyrn of Highever]]<br>[[User:Kifcroaker|Kifcroaker]]
|prev ep=Attack of the Killer App
|prev ep=Attack of the Killer App
|next ep=The Duh-Vinci Code
|next ep=The Duh-Vinci Code
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:''[Opening Credits: Dictated But Not Read.]''
:''[Opening Credits: Dictated But Not Read.]''
:''['''Scene:''' [[Amy's apartment]] [[Kif]] and [[Amy]] are watching Channel √2 News.]''  
 
:'''[[Linda]]''': ''[on TV]'' We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?
:''['''Scene'''[[Amy's apartment]]. [[Kif]] and [[Amy]] are watching [[Channel √2 News]].]''  
:'''[[Jim]]''' ''[on TV]''  ''[Still in the burning hovercopter.]'' The scene is not good, Linda. I've just learned that my last words were: back to you, Linda.
 
:'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' ''[She laughs]'' One for the blooper reel.
<poem>'''[[Linda]]''': ''[on TV]'' We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?</poem>
:'''Kif''': The news is so violent. Let's watch ''Rachael Ray'' instead. No, wait. There might be chopping.
 
:'''Amy''': God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.
<poem>'''[[Jim]]''': ''[on TV]''  ''[Still in the burning hovercopter.]'' The scene is not good, Linda. I've just learned that my last words were: back to you, Linda. ''[The hovercopter explodes.]''</poem>
:'''Kif''': You know full well that I am more closely related to the {{w|sea cucumber}}.
 
:'''Amy''': Not where it counts.  
<poem>'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' ''[She laughs]'' One for the blooper reel.</poem>
:'''[[Morbo]]''': ''[on TV]'' I hated Jim! In other news, our city's urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.
 
:'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' Police have not idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art
<poem>'''Kif''': The news is so violent. Let's watch ''{{w|Rachael Ray (TV series)|Rachael Ray}}'' instead. No, wait. There might be chopping.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Kif''': You know full well that I am more closely related to the {{w|sea cucumber}}.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Not where it counts. </poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Morbo]]''': ''[on TV]'' I hated Jim! In other news, [[Proposition Infinity#Goofs|our city]]'s urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' [[New New York Police Department|Police]] have no idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art.</poem>
 
:''[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]''
:''[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]''
:''['''Scene: New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables.
 
:'''[[Bender]]''' ''[He chuckles maliciously and spreads grout onto a wall. He then makes a tile version of his head]'' That is one sexy bridge abutment.  
:''['''Scene''': New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables.
:''[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, Nixon's campaign poster and a tube transport station. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn"]''
 
:'''[[Hyper-Chicken]]''': Free corn? That'll suit me just fine. ''[He crashes his hovercar and clucks loudly]''
<poem>'''[[Bender]]''': ''[He chuckles maliciously and spreads grout onto a wall. He then makes a tile version of his head]'' That is one sexy bridge abutment. </poem>
 
:''[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, a [[Richard Nixon's head|Richard Nixon]] "Despair" poster (parodying the {{w|Barack Obama "Hope" poster}}) and a [[Tube Transport System|tube transport station]]. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn" instead of "Freeway Ends At Corner"]''
 
<poem>'''[[Hyper-Chicken]]''': Free corn? That'll suit me just fine. ''[He crashes his [[hovercar]] and crows loudly]''</poem>
 
:''[Bender is still putting graffiti on various buildings.]''
:''[Bender is still putting graffiti on various buildings.]''
:'''Bender''': The key is knowing precisely where to strike. ''[The last building turns out to be URL's back]'' Oops
 
:'''[[URL]]''': Well, well. Time to beat him his rights. ''[He and [[Smitty]] take out their lightsabers and being hitting Bender.]''
<poem>'''Bender''': The key is knowing precisely where to strike. ''[The last building turns out to be URL's back]'' Oops!</poem>
:'''Smitty''': You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.
 
:'''URL''': It does kinda class-up the place.
<poem>'''[[URL]]''': Well, well. Time to beat him his rights. ''[He and Smitty take out their lightsabers and being hitting Bender.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Smitty]]''': You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.</poem>
 
<poem>'''URL''': It does sorta class-up the place.</poem>
 
:''[Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]''
:''[Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]''
:'''Clock''': The time is 4 am.
 
:''['''Scene:''' Amy's apartment]''
<poem>'''Clock''': The time is 4 am.</poem>
:'''Amy''': We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?
 
:'''Kif''': Is that all you ever think about? I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy. I need to know where we stand in our [[Kif-Amy relationship|relationship]].
:''['''Scene'''Amy's apartment]''
:'''Amy''': We're just going through a rough patch.
 
:'''Kif''': It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate "Hunk of the Month" calender.
<poem>'''Amy''': We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?</poem>
:''[He points to a calender with a male model wearing only a pair of briefs and holding a saxophone]]]
 
:'''Todd''': Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. ''[He plays a tune]''
<poem>'''Kif''': Is that all you ever think about? I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy. I need to know where we stand in [[Kif-Amy relationship|our relationship]].</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': We're just going through a rough patch.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Kif''': It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate "Hunk of the Month" calender.</poem>
 
:''[He points to a calender with a male model wearing only a pair of briefs and holding a saxophone]
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Leave [[Todd]] out of this!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Todd''': Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. ''[He plays a tune]''</poem>
 
:''[Kif sighs.'']
 
:''[Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign'']
:''[Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign'']
:'''Amy''': Oh, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell. Hello? ''[Bender's picture is displayed over the phone]''
 
:'''Bender''': ''Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.''
<poem>'''Amy''': Oh, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell. Hello? ''[Bender's picture is displayed over the phone]''</poem>
:'''Amy''': Oh, no!
 
:'''Bender''': ''That's enough lip from you, moneybags. Just get 5 grand an bail me out.''
<poem>'''Bender''': ''Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.''</poem>
:'''Amy''': I don't have that kind of money laying around.
 
:'''Bender''': ''Yeah, you do. You know that floor safe where you keep 10 grand? There's 5 grand in there. Don't make me wait!''
<poem>'''Amy''': Oh, no!</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' [[Will Riker's Island]], prison interior. Bender, Roberto and other criminals are in a cell.]''
 
:'''[[Roberto]]''': ''[He walks up to Bender. He is holding a sock]'' Hey, Bender. Ever kill a man with a sock? It aint so hard. Ha-HAA. ''[He stabs at Bender]''
<poem>'''Bender''': ''That's enough lip from you, moneybags. Just get 5 grand an bail me out.''</poem>
:'''Bender''': I better carve a shiv for protection. ''[He pulls out a stick and a switchblade. He starts whittling down the stick into a crude knife]''
 
:'''URL''': ''[He opens the cell door. Kif and Amy are with him.]'' Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.
<poem>'''Amy''': I don't have that kind of money laying around.</poem>
:'''Bender''': Oh! Thank God. ''[He hugs Kif, causing his head to inflate]'' Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?
 
:'''Larry''': ''[To Amy]'' Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry, the murder-burglar.  
<poem>'''Bender''': ''Yeah, you do. You know that floor safe where you keep 10 grand? There's 5 grand in there. Don't make me wait!''</poem>
:'''Amy''': Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos.
 
:'''Kif''': Amy, that man's a criminal!
:''['''Scene''': [[Will Riker's Island]], prison interior. Bender, Roberto, [[Joey Mousepad]] and other criminals are in a cell.]''
:'''Amy''': I was just checking out his tats. ''[She looks at a tattoo of Larry jumping out of a house window then lighting it with a molotov cocktail. It explodes.]'' Sneato! I have one of my mom. Wanna see?
 
:'''Larry''': Sure.
<poem>'''[[Roberto]]''': ''[He walks up to Bender. He is holding a sock]'' Hey, Bender. Ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard. Ha-HAA. ''[He stabs at Bender]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': I better carve a shiv for protection. ''[He pulls out a stick and a switchblade. He starts whittling down the stick into a crude knife]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''URL''': ''[He opens the cell door. Kif and Amy are with him.]'' Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Oh! Thank God. ''[He hugs Kif, causing his head to inflate]'' Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Larry the Murder Burglar]]''': ''[To Amy]'' Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar. </poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Kif''': Amy, that man's a criminal!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': I was just checking out his tats. ''[She looks at a tattoo of Larry jumping out of a house window then lighting it with a {{w|molotov cocktail}}. The house explodes.]'' [[Coinage#S|Sneato]]! I have one of my mom. Wanna see?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Larry the Murder Burglar''': Sure.</poem>
 
:''[Amy shows him the tattoo on her butt. Kif stutters incoherently.]''
:''[Amy shows him the tattoo on her butt. Kif stutters incoherently.]''
:''[A clerk is handing Bender back everything that was confiscated from him: a hat, a full roast chicken and an accordion]''
:''[A clerk is handing Bender back everything that was confiscated from him: a hat, a full roast chicken and an accordion]''
:'''Kif''': ''[To Amy]'' I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.  
 
:'''Amy''': Quit exaggerating.
<poem>'''Kif''': ''[To Amy]'' I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight. </poem>
:''[A criminal that Smitty and Url are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]''
 
:'''Criminal''': Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!
<poem>'''Amy''': Quit exaggerating.</poem>
:'''Amy''': ''[Giggling]'' Oh! You're bad!  
 
:'''URL''': ''[He performs the Vulcan Neck Pinch on the criminal]'' Momma said, Spock you out!
:''[A criminal that Smitty and URL are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]''
:'''Kif''': That's it Amy. Pardon my language but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats. You and I are through. ''[He walks off. Amy looks heartbroken.]''
 
:'''Bender''': ''[He is holding the accordion.]'' Aw! Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It's called, ''[singing]'' Let's go already!
<poem>'''Criminal''': Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Forbidden Planet Hollywood. Where tourists come to mingle with tourists]''
 
:''[Pan over the various exhibits, from {{sw|Chewbacca|Chewbacca's}} feet to {{w|Iron Man|Iron Man's}} underpants, {{w|Elvis|Elvis'}} pelvis and [[Calculon|Calculon's]] agent.]''
<poem>'''Amy''': ''[Giggling]'' Oh! You're bad! </poem>
:''[Bender, [[Fry]], [[Leela]] and Amy are seated at a table]''
 
:'''Leela''': Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous.
<poem>'''URL''': ''[He performs the Vulcan Neck Pinch on the criminal]'' Momma said, Spock you out!</poem>
:'''Amy''': Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.
 
:'''Bender''': Yeah, the game of {{w|Old Maid}}. ''[He laughs]]''
<poem>'''Kif''': That's it, Amy. Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats. You and I are through. ''[He walks off. Amy looks heartbroken.]''</poem>
:'''Security woman''': Excuse me, sir, are those yours? ''[Bender is wearing Chewbacca's feet]''
 
:'''Bender''': You're damn right. And, before you ask, this is mine too. ''[He opens his chest cabinet revealing {{w|Lassie}}. She barks]''
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[He is holding the accordion.]'' Aw! Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It's called, ''[singing]'' Let's go already! </poem>
:'''Fry''': Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?
 
:'''Amy''': No. Technically we were [[Coinage#F|Fon-Fon-Rus]], so we weren't really married.
:''['''Scene''': [[Forbidden Planet Hollywood]]. Where tourists come to mingle with tourists]'' Pan over the various exhibits, from {{sw|Chewbacca|Chewbacca's}} feet to {{w|Iron Man|Iron Man's}} underpants, {{w|Elvis|Elvis'}} pelvis and [[Calculon|Calculon's]] agent. Bender, [[Fry]], [[Leela]] and Amy are seated at a table]''
:'''Bender''': Wow! The interesting thing about that is ''[He starts snoring]''
 
:'''Leela''': So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?  
<poem>'''Leela''': Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous.</poem>
:'''Amy''': He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.
 
:'''Bender''': The truth is often stupid. ''[He blows smoke in her face and sprinkles her with ash]''
<poem>'''Amy''': Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.</poem>
:'''Amy''': Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?
 
:'''Bender''': Shut up, baby, you love it.
<poem>'''Bender''': Yeah, the game of {{w|Old Maid}}. ''[He laughs]''</poem>
:'''Amy''': Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?
 
:'''Bender''': What?
<poem>'''Security woman''': Excuse me, sir, are those yours? ''[Bender is wearing Chewbacca's feet]''</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Amy's apartment]''  
 
:'''Amy''': ''[In bed with Bender]'' That was great.
<poem>'''Bender''': You're damn right. And, before you ask, this is mine too. ''[He opens his chest cabinet revealing {{w|Lassie}}. She barks]''</poem>
:'''Bender''': Shut up. ''[Amy climbs on top of him and they start kissing]'' Come over here.
 
:''['''Scene:''' Tube transport system. Bender and Amy are talking]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?</poem>
:'''Amy''' Remember, love between a human and a robot is taboo. ''[She takes a brush from Bender's cabinet and fixes her hair.]'' We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers.
 
:'''Bender''': Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion as we get nasty in this glass tube. ''[They begin kissing]''
<poem>'''Amy''': No. Technically we were [[Coinage#F|Fonfon rus]], so we weren't really married.</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Meeting room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] is sitting around the table. Hermes looks sick]''
 
:'''[[Hermes]]''': I think I'm coming down with circus-itis. ''[He sneezes and his face gets traditional clown fare: make-up, rainbow wig, and rubber nose.]]''
<poem>'''Bender''': Wow! The interesting thing about that is ''[He starts snoring]''</poem>
:'''Leela''': I thought circus-itis only affected children.
 
:'''Hermes''': Children of all ages.
<poem>'''Leela''': So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds? </poem>
:'''[[Zoidberg]]''': Bender, old friend. What's on your face?
 
:'''Bender''': ''[He has a lipstick mark on his face. He covers it up.]'' Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard.
<poem>'''Amy''': He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.</poem>
:'''Fry''': Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?
 
:'''Amy''': Uh, maybe. So what?
<poem>'''Bender''': The truth is often stupid. ''[He blows smoke in her face and sprinkles her with ash]''</poem>
:'''Fry''': I only brought it u[ because Bender is wearing them.  
 
:'''Bender''': ''[He clears his throat]'' Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.
<poem>'''Amy''': Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?</poem>
:'''Hermes''': Oh my swollen feet. ''He takes his feet out of the tub of water. They have turned into clown shoes]'' I better take my pills. ''[He opens the container and rubber springs fly out]''
 
:''['''Scene:''' NNY street]''
<poem>'''Bender''': Shut up, baby, you love it.</poem>
:'''Bender''': Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.
 
:'''Amy''': Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way. ''[They kiss]''
<poem>'''Amy''': Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?</poem>
:'''[[Preacherbot]]''': Sinners! Robosexuality is an abomination!
 
:'''Bender''': Oy, this guy.
<poem>'''Bender''': What? </poem>
:'''Preacherbot''': The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between.
 
:''['''Scene'''Amy's apartment. Amy and Bender are in bed together.]''  
 
<poem>'''Amy''': That was great.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Shut up. ''[Amy climbs on top of him and they start kissing]'' Come over here.</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Tube Transport System. Bender and Amy are talking]''
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Remember, love between a [[human]] and a [[robot]] is taboo. ''[She takes a brush from Bender's cabinet and fixes her hair.]'' We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion as we get nasty in this glass tube. ''[They begin kissing]''</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express Meeting room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] is sitting around the table. Hermes looks sick]''
 
<poem>'''[[Hermes]]''': I think I'm coming down with [[circusitis]]. ''[He sneezes and his face gets traditional clown fare: make-up, orange wig, and rubber nose.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': I thought circusitis only affected children.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': Children of all ages.</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Zoidberg]]''': Bender, old friend. What's on your face?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[He has a lipstick mark on his face. He covers it up.]'' Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Uh, maybe. So what?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them. </poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[He clears his throat]'' Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': Oh, my swollen feet. ''He takes his feet out of the tub of water. They have turned into clown shoes]'' I better take my pills. ''[He opens the container and rubber springs fly out]''</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''NNY street]''
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way. ''[They kiss]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Preacherbot]]''': Sinners! [[Robosexuality]] is an abomination!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Oy, this guy.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between.</poem>
 
:''[A crowd has formed. They agree with the Preacherbot]''
:''[A crowd has formed. They agree with the Preacherbot]''
:'''Bender''': Look! A single mother! Let's get her! ''[The crowd runs off]''
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Look! A single mother! Let's get her! ''[The crowd runs off]''</poem>
 
:''[Bender and Amy walk off]''
:''[Bender and Amy walk off]''
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Tornadus. The ship dodges through numerous tornados,]''
 
:''['''Scene:''' [[Planet Express ship]] basement.]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Planet Express ship]] basement.]''
:'''[[Farnsworth]]''': Quickly, into the ship's basement! ''[Dr. Zoidberg scrambles into the basement and closes the door behind him. Everyone else is already there.]'' Now, then, as you all know, the county fair is approaching once again, so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers. ''[Pan over the individual jars of weather]'' I've got sunny, snow flurry, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado. I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again. ''[He opens some blinds revealing a farmhouse being blown away in a typhoon, it has Bender's graffiti on it.]'' That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.
 
:'''Leela''': How is that? ''[She gets zapped by the prod and screams]''
<poem>'''[[Farnsworth]]''': Quickly, into the ship's basement! ''[Dr. Zoidberg scrambles into the basement and closes the door behind him. Everyone else is already there.]'' Now, then, as you all know, the county fair is approaching once again, so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers. ''[Pan over the individual jars of weather]'' I've got sunny, snow flurry, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado. I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again. ''[He opens some blinds revealing a farmhouse being blown away in a tornado, it has Bender's graffiti on it.]'' That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.</poem>
:'''Farnsworth:''': Get out there!
 
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Tornadus. The [[Planet Express crew|crew]] are situated around a tornado. They are using jet packs and a device to extract the tornado.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': How is that? ''[The Professor zaps with the prod and she screams.]''</poem>
:'''Leela''': It everybody is position?
 
:'''Amy''': What?
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Get out there!</poem>
:'''Zoidberg''': Is someone talking?
 
:'''Leela''': Okay, good. On three. One.
:''['''Scene''':  [[Planet Tornadus]]. The crew are situated around a tornado. They are using jet packs and devices to extract the tornado.]''
:'''Hermes''': What did she say?
 
:'''Leela''': Two.
<poem>'''Leela''': Is everybody in position?</poem>
:'''Bender''': Wait, I'm not in position. ''[He is being blown around by the winds]''
 
:'''Leela''': Three.
<poem>'''Amy''': What?</poem>
:'''Zoidberg''': I'm ready for the countdown.
 
:'''Leela''': I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Is someone talking?</poem>
:'''Fry''': She said Go!
 
<poem>'''Leela''': Okay, good. On three. One.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': What did she say?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': Two.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Wait, I'm not in position. ''[He is being blown around by the winds]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': Three.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': I'm ready for the countdown.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': She said, "Go!"</poem>
 
:''[Everyone begins shooting wildly at the tornado.]''
:''[Everyone begins shooting wildly at the tornado.]''
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Ship basement]''
 
:'''Farnsworth''': Good work, everyone. ''[A tornado has someone been shoved into a large tube. It is attached to a pickle jar by a hose.]''
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express Ship basement]''
:'''Leela''': Honestly, that went better than I expected.
 
:'''Farnsworth''': I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar, toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges. ''[He puts the leaf into the pickle jar.]''  
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Good work, everyone. ''[A tornado has somehow been shoved into a large tube. It is attached to a pickle jar by a hose.]''</poem>
:'''Fry''': Hey, where's Amy and Bender.
 
:'''Zoidberg''': They're missing out on some hot pickle action. ''[He licks his mouth flaps.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Honestly, that went better than I expected.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar, toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges. ''[He puts the leaf into the pickle jar.]'' </poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey, where's Amy and Bender?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': They're missing out on some hot pickle action. ''[He licks his mouth flaps.]''</poem>
 
:''[The Professor presses a button and turns a switch on his machine. The tornado is being decanted into the pickle jar. Bender and Amy can be heard giggling.]''
:''[The Professor presses a button and turns a switch on his machine. The tornado is being decanted into the pickle jar. Bender and Amy can be heard giggling.]''
:'''Hermes''': Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.</poem>
 
:''[Amy's sweatshirt whips around in the tornado.]''
:''[Amy's sweatshirt whips around in the tornado.]''
:'''Leela''': That's Amy's sweatshirt!
 
<poem>'''Leela''': That's Amy's sweatshirt!</poem>
 
:''[Bender's hat appears]''
:''[Bender's hat appears]''
:'''Fry''': And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!
 
:'''Hermes''': Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!
<poem>'''Fry''': And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!</poem>
:'''Farnsworth''': [He presses a few more buttons and more of Bender's and Amy's things appear in the whirlwind.]'' Oh, the humanity! Also, Bender!
 
:'''Amy''': ''[The whirlwind whips faster revealing Bender and Amy. The tornado stops and they fall to the floor, still kissing.]'' Uh-oh!
<poem>'''Hermes''': Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!</poem>
:'''Farnsworth''': What's going on here?
 
:'''Bender''': Uh. ''[He antenna recedes.]'' Nothing.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''[He presses a few more buttons and more of Bender's and Amy's things appear in the whirlwind.]'' Oh, the humanity! Also Bender!</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Meeting room. Everyone except the Professor is sitting. The Professor is pacing back and forth.
 
:'''Farnsworth''': A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!
<poem>'''Amy''': ''[The whirlwind whips faster revealing Bender and Amy. The tornado stops and they fall to the floor, still kissing.]'' Uh-oh!</poem>
:'''Bender''': What about ''on'' the roof?
 
:'''Farnsworth:''' Get your mind out of the gutter!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': What's going on here?</poem>
:'''Bender''': What about in the gutter?
 
:'''Leela''': Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality.
<poem>'''Bender''': Uh. ''[He antenna recedes.]'' Nothing.</poem>
:'''Hermes''': Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults.
 
:'''Zoidberg''': Or one!
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express Meeting room. Everyone except the Professor is sitting. The Professor is pacing back and forth.
:'''Amy''': Thanks, guys. Everything will be okay just as long as my parents don't find out.
 
:'''Farnsworth''': ''Joi gin.'' ''[He begins whistling innocently and walks to the door. A doorbell rings. He opens it. Leo and Inez are there.]''
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!</poem>
:'''Amy''': Mom? Dad?
 
:'''[[Leo Wong|Leo]]''': Come home, Amy. It your decision. We can't make you. ''[He pulls out a lasso and lassos Amy]'' Atta girl!
<poem>'''Bender''': What about ''on'' the roof?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Get your mind out of the gutter!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': What about in the gutter?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Or one!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Thanks, guys. Everything will be okay just as long as [[Amy's parents|my parents]] don't find out.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''Zai jian.'' ''[He hangs up his cellphone and begins whistling innocently and walks to the door. A doorbell rings. He opens it. Leo and Inez are there.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Mom? Dad?</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Leo Wong|Leo]]''': Come home, Amy. It your decision. We can't make you. ''[He pulls out a lasso and lassos Amy]'' Atta girl!</poem>
 
:''[The Professor closes his cellphone again and begins whistling]''
:''[The Professor closes his cellphone again and begins whistling]''
:'''Bender''': Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!
 
:'''Preacherbot''': ''[The doorbell rings and the Preacherbot is there]'' Repent!
<poem>'''Bender''': Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!</poem>
:'''Bender''': Oy, this guy. ''[A magnet attaches to his chest cabinet and he is dragged off.]''
 
:''['''Scene:''' Wong Ranch. No Brokebacking]''
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': ''[The doorbell rings and the Preacherbot is there]'' Repent!</poem>
:'''[[Inez Wong|Inez]]''': Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great.
 
:'''Amy''': I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-
<poem>'''Bender''': Oy, this guy. ''[A magnet attaches to his chest cabinet and he is dragged off.]''</poem>
:'''Leo''': ''[Cutting across her.]'' You finish that word, you kill your parents.
 
:'''[[Wine Bucket]]''': Low wine level detected. ''[He fills Amy's glass]''
:''['''Scene'''Wong Ranch. No {{w|Brokeback Mountain|Brokebacking}}]''
:'''Amy''': Thank you.
 
:'''Leo''': Stop seducing him, you hussy!
<poem>'''[[Inez Wong|Inez]]''': Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great.</poem>
:'''Amy''': Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!
 
:'''Wine bucket''': ''[A tear rolls down its face]'' Hopes deleted.
<poem>'''Amy''': I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Camp Rectifier. Praying on the weak since 2976.]''
 
:'''Preacherbot''': Robotic brothers, the path to [[Robot Hell] is paved with human flesh.  
<poem>'''Leo''': ''[Cutting across her.]'' You finish that word, you kill your parents.</poem>
:''[In addition to Bender, there is the [[Hermaphrobot]], [[Fatbot]], and an unknown robot]''
 
:'''Bender''': Neat!
<poem>'''[[Wine Bucket]]''': Low wine level detected. ''[He fills Amy's glass]''</poem>
:'''Preacherbot''': Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India.
 
:'''Unknown Robot''': But I read in ''Esqwired'' that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.
<poem>'''Amy''': Thank you.</poem>
:'''Preacherbot''': Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an "Amen"?
 
:'''Hermaphrobot''': I'll take a-three-men, holla!
<poem>'''Leo''': Stop seducing him, you hussy!</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Wong Ranch. Amy is rocking on a porch swing.]''
 
:'''Inez''': Come on, Amy! Pick a male human already! ''[There is a line of men standing near the porch.]'' I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.
<poem>'''Amy''': Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!</poem>
:'''Amy''': Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interesting in any of these gross, ugly losers.
 
:'''Fry''': ''[Walking up]'' What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?
<poem>'''Wine Bucket''': ''[A tear rolls down its face]'' Hopes deleted.</poem>
:'''Leo''': Fry! What you doing here?
 
:'''Fry''': I'm here to rescue Amy, uh... from here robosexual desires. ''[He winks.]''
:''['''Scene''':  [[Camp Rectifier]]. Praying on the weak since [[2976]].]''
:'''Amy''': If I understand you correctly, I've seen the error of my ways? ''[She winks back.]''
 
:'''Leop''': Look at that awkward winking.  
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': Robotic brothers, the path to [[Robot Hell]] is paved with human flesh. </poem>
:'''Inez''': It must be love. ''[Fry and Amy walk off]''
 
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express ship]''
:''[In addition to Bender, there is the Hermaphrobot, [[Fatbot]], and an unknown robot]''
:'''Amy''': My parents may be evil, but at least their stupid.
 
:''['''Scene:''' Camp Rectifier]''
<poem>'''Bender''': Neat!</poem>
:'''Preacherbot''': ''[The campers and the Preacherbot are standing near some dummies of humans.]'' In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons.
 
:'''Fatbot''': Look at the rack on that one! I mean, that one on the rack!
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India.</poem>
:'''Preacherbot''': ''[He blows a whistle and the campers each jump on a dummy and start fondling them.] Good! That's real good! ''[He wipes away some sweat.]'' Okay, everybody switch demons. No point sticking with just one demon. ''[The campers all switch dummies.]'' Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes out of you! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons.   
 
:'''Bender''': Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!
<poem>'''Robosexual Robot''': But I read in ''Esqwired'' that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.</poem>
:'''Amy''': I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.
 
:'''Bender''': That answers that. Wait... Amy? ''[He begins kissing the demon]''
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an "Amen"?</poem>
:'''Leela''': ''[Fry and Leela can be heard groaning]'' Bender, be careful!
 
:'''Bender''': Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech.
<poem>'''[[Hermaphrobot]]''': I'll take a-three-men, holla! </poem>
:'''Zoidberg''': I guess we should have waited in the ship.
 
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express meeting room. Bender and Amy are kissing.]''
:''['''Scene'''Wong Ranch. Amy is rocking on a porch swing.]''
:'''Bender''': Listen up, everybody, I love Amy and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around! I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with. Amy, ''[He lowers his body and pulls a ring out of his chest cabinet. It has a tag that says exhibit A.]'' will you marry me?
 
:'''Amy''': Yes! Yes!
<poem>'''Inez''': Come on, Amy! Pick a male human already! ''[There is a line of men standing near the porch.]'' I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interested in any of these gross, ugly losers.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': ''[Walking up]'' What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leo''': Fry! What you doing here?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': I'm here to rescue Amy, uh... from her robosexual desires. ''[He winks.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': If I understand you correctly, I've seen the error of my ways? ''[She winks back.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leo''': Look at all that awkward winking. </poem>
 
<poem>'''Inez''': It must be love. ''[Fry and Amy walk off]''</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express ship]''
 
<poem>'''Amy''': My parents may be evil, but at least they're stupid. </poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Camp Rectifier]''
 
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': ''[The campers and the Preacherbot are standing near some dummies of humans.]'' In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons.</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[Fatbot]]''': Look at the rack on that one! Oh! I mean, that one on the rack!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Preacherbot''': ''[He blows a whistle and the campers each jump on a dummy and start fondling them.]'' Good! That's real good! ''[He wipes away some sweat.]'' Okay, everybody switch demons. No point sticking with just one demon. ''[The campers all switch dummies.]'' Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes! Ouch! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons.  </poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': That answers that. Wait... Amy? ''[He begins kissing the demon]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Leela''': ''[Fry and Leela can be heard groaning]'' Bender, be careful!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': I guess we should have waited in the ship.</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express meeting room. Bender and Amy are kissing.]''
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Listen up, everybody, I love Amy and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around! I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with. Amy, ''[He lowers his body and pulls a ring out of his chest cabinet. It has a tag that says exhibit A.]'' will you marry me?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': Yes! Yes!</poem>
 
:''[Everyone else beside the Professor begins cheering]''
:''[Everyone else beside the Professor begins cheering]''
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, I just glad I didn't live to see this day! Wait a second, ''[He checks his pulse and hears only one beat]'' No!
 
:'''Zoidberg''': ''[He is admiring Amy's ring]'' Such a stone. Is it real? ''[Amy pulls up Zoidberg's coat and uses the diamond to cut through Zoidberg's skin, revealing his internal organs.]'' Horray!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, I'm just glad I didn't live to see this day! Wait a second, ''[He checks his pulse and hears only one beat]'' No!</poem>
:'''Farnsworth''': Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!
 
:'''Leela''': Not in [[Space Massachusetts]].
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': ''[He is admiring Amy's ring]'' Such a stone. Is it real? ''[Amy pulls up Zoidberg's coat and uses the diamond to cut through Zoidberg's skin, revealing his internal organs.]'' Horray!</poem>
:'''Bender''': You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!
 
:'''Hermes''': Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!</poem>
:'''Amy''': We're talking about robosexual marriage.
 
:'''Hermes''': We're talking about lots of stuff.
<poem>'''Leela''': Not in [[Space Massachusetts]].</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Gearwhich Village Pride Parade. Fry is eating a hot dog.]''
 
<poem>'''Bender''': You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Amy''': We're talking about robosexual marriage.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Hermes''': We're talking about lots of stuff.</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Gearwhich Village Pride Parade. Fry is eating a hot dog.]''
 
:''[The Hot Dog Stand grows limbs and a head.]''
:''[The Hot Dog Stand grows limbs and a head.]''
:'''Fry''': Cool! Can you turn into a race car?
 
:'''Hot Dog Stand:''' Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.
<poem>'''Fry''': Cool! Can you turn into a race car?</poem>
:'''Amy''' ''[on stage]'' Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here.
 
:'''[[Hedonism Bot]]''' ''[In a bondage outfit]'' Squeaky, squishy clean! ''[The Hot Dog Stand vomits hot dogs on Hedonism Bot.]''
<poem>'''Hot Dog Stand''': Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.</poem>
:'''Amy''': But it's time to discuss a pressing issue, the right to marry who, or what, we want! ''[The crowd cheers]''
 
:'''Bender''': Every other couple has the right to marry, robot and fembot, [Cut to the [[Donbot]] and [[Fanny]], man and woman, ''[Pan to [[Pauly Shore]] and [[Michelle]], man and man ''[Pan to [[Randy]], his partner, and their poodle.]''
<poem>'''Amy''': ''[on stage]'' Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here.</poem>
:'''Randy''': Our poodle has ''two'' daddies.
 
:'''Bender''': Interracial, ''[Pan to two aliens who are half-black and half-white]'', Interplanetary, ''[Pan to a blob and a woman]'', even ghost and horse, ''[a ghost is floating nearby with a horse inside its body]'' but not robot and human.
<poem>'''[[Hedonism Bot]]''': ''[In a bondage outfit]'' Squeaky, squishy clean! ''[The Hot Dog Stand vomits hot dogs on Hedonism Bot.]''</poem>
:''[The crowd boos]''
 
:'''Amy''': That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage.  
<poem>'''Amy''': But it's time to discuss a pressing issue, the right to marry who, or what, we want! ''[The crowd cheers]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Every other couple has the right to marry, robot and fembot, ''[Cut to the [[Donbot]] and [[Fanny]],'' man and woman, ''[Pan to [[Pauly Shore]] and [[Michelle]],'' man and man ''[Pan to [[Randy Munchnik]], [[Soupy|his partner]], and their poodle.]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Randy''': Our poodle has ''two'' daddies.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Interracial, ''[Pan to two aliens who are half-black and half-white]'', Interplanetary, ''[Pan to a blob and a woman]'', even ghost and horse, ''[a ghost is floating nearby with a horse inside its body]'' but not robot and human.</poem>
 
:''[The crowd boos and the ghost boos in a scary tone.]''
 
<poem>'''Amy''': That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage. </poem>
 
:''[The crowd cheers]''
:''[The crowd cheers]''
:'''Bender''': If you hate intolerance and begin punched in the face by me, please support Proposition Infinity!
 
:''[A montage of campaign efforts. Amy pins a button to an alien. He is popped by the button and floats away. Bender puts tile graffiti on URL's back and get hit. The crew holds a sign that reads "Stand up for equality" while nearby the Professor, [[Hattie]] and two others have a sign that reads, "Fall down and be unable to get up for traditional marriage".]''
<poem>'''Bender''': If you hate intolerance and begin punched in the face by me, please support [[Proposition ∞|Proposition Infinity]]!</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' √2 News broadcast.
 
:'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat.
:''[A montage of campaign efforts. Amy pins a button to an alien. He is popped by the button and floats away. Bender puts tile graffiti on URL's back and laughs]''
:'''Morbo''': ''[on TV]'' Doomed!
 
:'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity
<poem>'''Bender''': Damn it!
 
:''[The montage continues while Bender gets hit by URL. The crew holds a sign that reads "Stand up for equality" while nearby the Professor, [[Hattie]] and two others have a sign that reads, "Fall down and be unable to get up for traditional marriage".]''
 
:''['''Scene'''√2 News broadcast.]''
 
<poem>'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Morbo''': ''[on TV]'' Doooooooomed!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity.</poem>
 
:''[A Parody of the National Organization for Marriage's ad begins. Storm clouds roll in.]''
:''[A Parody of the National Organization for Marriage's ad begins. Storm clouds roll in.]''
:'''Actor 1''': A storm is gathering.
 
:'''Actor 2''': A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.
<poem>'''Actor 1''': A storm is gathering.</poem>
:'''Actor 1''': It's probably a firestorm.
 
:'''Actress''': If robosexual marriage become legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me.
<poem>'''Actor 2''': A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.</poem>
:'''Man''' ''[Voice over]'' Vote No on Infinity. Paid for by the Farnsworth foundation.
 
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Lounge.]''
<poem>'''Actor 1''': It's probably a firestorm.</poem>
:'''Amy''': We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds! We're boned!
 
:'''Bender''': But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!
<poem>'''Actress''': If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me.</poem>
:'''Fry''': Professor, who's debating for your side?
 
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh that guy, you know, I forget his name.
<poem>'''Man''': ''[Voice over]'' Vote No on Infinity. Paid for by the [[Farnsworth Foundation]].</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Debate Hall]''
 
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[Pointing to a live image of himself on a television screen.]'' That's him!
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express Lounge.]''
:'''[[George Takei]]: Good evening, I'm George Takei's head and neck, your host for tonight's debate. You may applaud. ''[The crowd does.]'' We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him.
 
:'''Bender''': Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except is hotter 'cause I'm involved.
<poem>'''Amy''': We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds! [[We're boned]]!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Fry''': Professor, who's debating for your side?</poem>
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name.</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Debate Hall]''
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''[Pointing to a live image of himself on a television screen.]'' That's him!</poem>
 
<poem>'''[[George Takei's head]]''': Good evening, I'm George Takei's head and neck, your host for tonight's debate. You may applaud. ''[The crowd does.]'' We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.</poem>
 
:''[The crowd cheers and applauds]''
:''[The crowd cheers and applauds]''
:'''Takei''': I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since [[William Shatner|Bill Shatner]] explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?
 
:'''Farnsworth''': This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion.
<poem>'''Takei''': I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since [[William Shatner|Bill Shatner]] explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?</poem>
:'''Bender''': You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love.
 
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, no? Back when I was full of piss and vinegar, and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl to ever skip through a field of posies. ''[Flashback to a younger Professor and Eunice skipping through posies.]'' Her name was Eunice, and we spent our blissful days working in a lab, developing a poison to wipe out that dreadful posy infestation. ''[Farnsworth handes Eunice some posies and she drips poison on them. They wilt. The Professor and Eunice kiss.]'' I thought our love would last forever. But then, 43 years later she left me ''[Eunice is in bed with a robot.]'' for a robot. ''[End flashback]'' How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion.</poem>
:'''Amy''': That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?
 
:'''Farnsworth''': She didn't just leave me for a robot. She ''was'' a robot! ''[The crowd gasps.]]' Oh, God! Her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! Unit 47. ''[The same flower scene plays but Eunice is replaced with [[Unit 47]].]'' My heart was broken, and like a bitter, old picklepuss, I took my anger out on robosexuals everywhere. I'm so ashmaed! At the risk of losing the debate, I beg you, support Proposition Infinity. ''[The crowd cheers]''
<poem>'''Bender''': You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love.</poem>
:'''Bender''': Give me a hug. ''[He jumps the Professor]''
 
:'''Takei''': I, too, am hugging them in spirit. And now, they're hugging me back ''Oh, my!''
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, no? Back when I was full of piss and vinegar, and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl to ever skip through a field of posies. ''[Flashback to a younger Professor and Eunice skipping through posies.]'' Her name was Eunice, and we spent our blissful days working in a lab, developing a poison to wipe out that dreadful posy infestation. ''[Farnsworth handes Eunice some posies and she drips poison on them. They wilt. The Professor and Eunice kiss.]'' I thought our love would last forever. But then, 43 years later, she left me ''[Eunice is in bed with a robot.]'' for a robot! ''[End flashback]'' How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?</poem>
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Lounge. The crew are watching TV.]
 
:'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.
<poem>'''Amy''': That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?</poem>
:'''Morbo''': ''[on TV]'' What's next, gay robosexual marriage?
 
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': She didn't just leave me for a robot. She ''was'' a robot! ''[The crowd gasps.]'' Oh, God! Her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! [[Unit 47]]. ''[The same flower scene plays but Eunice is replaced with Unit 47.]'' My heart was broken, and like a bitter, old picklepuss, I took my anger out on robosexuals everywhere. I'm so ashamed! At the risk of losing this debate, I beg you, support Proposition Infinity. ''[The crowd cheers]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Give me a hug. ''[He jumps the Professor]''</poem>
 
<poem>'''George Takei's head''': I, too, am hugging them in spirit. And now, they're hugging me back. ''Oh, my!''</poem>
 
:''['''Scene'''Planet Express Lounge. The crew is watching TV.]
 
<poem>'''Linda''': ''[on TV]'' In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.</poem>
 
<poem>'''Morbo''': ''[on TV]'' What's next, gay robosexual marriage?</poem>
 
:''[The crew cheers]''
:''[The crew cheers]''
:'''Amy''': We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!
 
:'''Bender''': Woo-hoo! Yeah! ... Monogamous? ''[Cut to Bender on a beach with two hookerbots]''
<poem>'''Amy''': We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!</poem>
 
<poem>'''Bender''': Woo-hoo! Yeah! ... Monogamous? ''[Cut to Bender on a beach with two hookerbots]''</poem>
 
:''[Cut back to Planet Express]''
:''[Cut back to Planet Express]''
:'''[Radio Announcer]''' And now, a long-distance dedication from a squishy, green bad boy to his pink pork dumpling. ''[A motercycle revs outside. Kif is driving and wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and boots.]'' At number 12, it's "Wailing Fungus" with "Shut Up and Love Me"
 
<poem>'''[[Radio announcer]]''': And now, a long-distance dedication from a squishy, green bad boy to his pink pork dumpling. ''[A motorcycle revs outside. Kif is driving and wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and boots.]'' At number 12, it's [[Wailing Fungus]] with "[[Shut Up and Love Me]]".</poem>
 
:''[As the song plays, Kif and Amy ride off into the sunset.]''
:''[As the song plays, Kif and Amy ride off into the sunset.]''
:'''
 
:''[Closing Credits.]''
 
<poem>'''Wailing Fungus''': ''[Singing.]'' I told you where.
I told you when.
I told you how.
And we'll meet up at ten.
But you keep on talkin'.
You keep on yackin'.
'''Chorus''': Shut up and love me!  Shut up and love me!</poem>
 
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Latest revision as of 22:18, 12 January 2012

Transcript for
Proposition Infinity
Written byMichael Rowe
Transcribed byTeyrn of Highever
Kifcroaker


[Opening Credits: Dictated But Not Read.]
[Scene: Amy's apartment. Kif and Amy are watching Channel √2 News.]

Linda: [on TV] We now go live to our eye-in-the-sky hovercopter on the scene of that terrible hovercopter crash. Jim?

Jim: [on TV] [Still in the burning hovercopter.] The scene is not good, Linda. I've just learned that my last words were: back to you, Linda. [The hovercopter explodes.]

Linda: [on TV] [She laughs] One for the blooper reel.

Kif: The news is so violent. Let's watch Rachael Ray instead. No, wait. There might be chopping.

Amy: God, what a wuss. Stop being such a spineless jellyfish.

Kif: You know full well that I am more closely related to the sea cucumber.

Amy: Not where it counts.

Morbo: [on TV] I hated Jim! In other news, our city's urine-soaked walls have been desicrated by a mysterious tile-work graffiti artist.

Linda: [on TV] Police have no idea who is behind this innovative scourge of public art.

[On the TV, an example of the graffiti is shown. It looks like Bender]
[Scene: New New York street. Bender is lowering himself using cables.

Bender: [He chuckles maliciously and spreads grout onto a wall. He then makes a tile version of his head] That is one sexy bridge abutment.

[Time lapse. Bender is putting tile graffiti in various places. A hoverbus stop, a Richard Nixon "Despair" poster (parodying the Barack Obama "Hope" poster) and a tube transport station. At a freeway, Bender graffitis part of a sign so that it now reads "Free Corn" instead of "Freeway Ends At Corner"]

Hyper-Chicken: Free corn? That'll suit me just fine. [He crashes his hovercar and crows loudly]

[Bender is still putting graffiti on various buildings.]

Bender: The key is knowing precisely where to strike. [The last building turns out to be URL's back] Oops!

URL: Well, well. Time to beat him his rights. [He and Smitty take out their lightsabers and being hitting Bender.]

Smitty: You know, that don't look half bad on your buttocks.

URL: It does sorta class-up the place.

[Pan over the streets of New New York. A clock nearby changes from 3:59 to 4:00]

Clock: The time is 4 am.

[Scene: Amy's apartment]

Amy: We've been arguing all night, Kif. Can't we go to bed?

Kif: Is that all you ever think about? I'm not just some piece of tofu, Amy. I need to know where we stand in our relationship.

Amy: We're just going through a rough patch.

Kif: It is not a patch. It's been ages, according to your wildly inappropriate "Hunk of the Month" calender.

[He points to a calender with a male model wearing only a pair of briefs and holding a saxophone]

Amy: Leave Todd out of this!

Todd: Thanks, babe. Also, today is Canadian Independence Day. [He plays a tune]

[Kif sighs.]
[Burping is heard. The phone displays an incoming call sign]

Amy: Oh, that's Bender's ringtone. I recognize the smell. Hello? [Bender's picture is displayed over the phone]

Bender: Yo, Amy, I'm in the slammer.

Amy: Oh, no!

Bender: That's enough lip from you, moneybags. Just get 5 grand an bail me out.

Amy: I don't have that kind of money laying around.

Bender: Yeah, you do. You know that floor safe where you keep 10 grand? There's 5 grand in there. Don't make me wait!

[Scene: Will Riker's Island, prison interior. Bender, Roberto, Joey Mousepad and other criminals are in a cell.]

Roberto: [He walks up to Bender. He is holding a sock] Hey, Bender. Ever kill a man with a sock? It ain't so hard. Ha-HAA. [He stabs at Bender]

Bender: I better carve a shiv for protection. [He pulls out a stick and a switchblade. He starts whittling down the stick into a crude knife]

URL: [He opens the cell door. Kif and Amy are with him.] Rodríguez! These two brothers bailed your ass out.

Bender: Oh! Thank God. [He hugs Kif, causing his head to inflate] Tell me, have things changed on the outside. Is food finally in pill form? What about pills? Are they in food form?

Larry the Murder Burglar: [To Amy] Hey, hot stuff. I'm Larry the Murder Burglar.

Amy: Hi, Larry. I like your tattoos.

Kif: Amy, that man's a criminal!

Amy: I was just checking out his tats. [She looks at a tattoo of Larry jumping out of a house window then lighting it with a molotov cocktail. The house explodes.] Sneato! I have one of my mom. Wanna see?

Larry the Murder Burglar: Sure.

[Amy shows him the tattoo on her butt. Kif stutters incoherently.]
[A clerk is handing Bender back everything that was confiscated from him: a hat, a full roast chicken and an accordion]

Kif: [To Amy] I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.

Amy: Quit exaggerating.

[A criminal that Smitty and URL are escorting gets loose. He steals a lightsaber and holds it to Amy's throat.]

Criminal: Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!

Amy: [Giggling] Oh! You're bad!

URL: [He performs the Vulcan Neck Pinch on the criminal] Momma said, Spock you out!

Kif: That's it, Amy. Pardon my language, but I have had it with you ruffling my petticoats. You and I are through. [He walks off. Amy looks heartbroken.]

Bender: [He is holding the accordion.] Aw! Here's a little song I wrote to cheer you up. It's called, [singing] Let's go already!

[Scene: Forbidden Planet Hollywood. Where tourists come to mingle with tourists] Pan over the various exhibits, from Chewbacca's feet to Iron Man's underpants, Elvis' pelvis and Calculon's agent. Bender, Fry, Leela and Amy are seated at a table]

Leela: Here's to Amy, single, lonely, and fabulous.

Amy: Thanks everybody. Looks like I'm back in the game.

Bender: Yeah, the game of Old Maid. [He laughs]

Security woman: Excuse me, sir, are those yours? [Bender is wearing Chewbacca's feet]

Bender: You're damn right. And, before you ask, this is mine too. [He opens his chest cabinet revealing Lassie. She barks]

Fry: Tough break, Amy. Are you and Kif getting divorced?

Amy: No. Technically we were Fonfon rus, so we weren't really married.

Bender: Wow! The interesting thing about that is [He starts snoring]

Leela: So, Amy, how can I phrase this delicately? Why did Kif dump you like a sack of yesterday's turds?

Amy: He says I have a thing for bad boys. It's so stupid.

Bender: The truth is often stupid. [He blows smoke in her face and sprinkles her with ash]

Amy: Bender, why do you have to be so mean to me?

Bender: Shut up, baby, you love it.

Amy: Don't tell me to shut up! You know what happened to the last guy that told me to shut up?

Bender: What?

[Scene: Amy's apartment. Amy and Bender are in bed together.]

Amy: That was great.

Bender: Shut up. [Amy climbs on top of him and they start kissing] Come over here.

[Scene: Tube Transport System. Bender and Amy are talking]

Amy: Remember, love between a human and a robot is taboo. [She takes a brush from Bender's cabinet and fixes her hair.] We can't tell anyone, not even our co-workers.

Bender: Got it. I'll show the utmost discretion as we get nasty in this glass tube. [They begin kissing]

[Scene: Planet Express Meeting room. The crew is sitting around the table. Hermes looks sick]

Hermes: I think I'm coming down with circusitis. [He sneezes and his face gets traditional clown fare: make-up, orange wig, and rubber nose.]

Leela: I thought circusitis only affected children.

Hermes: Children of all ages.

Zoidberg: Bender, old friend. What's on your face?

Bender: [He has a lipstick mark on his face. He covers it up.] Uh. Blood. You know, from shaving of the face-beard.

Fry: Amy, are those gear imprints on your sweatpants?

Amy: Uh, maybe. So what?

Fry: I only brought it up because Bender is wearing them.

Bender: [He clears his throat] Uh, I stole them from her. Yeah, that's it, call the cops.

Hermes: Oh, my swollen feet. He takes his feet out of the tub of water. They have turned into clown shoes] I better take my pills. [He opens the container and rubber springs fly out]

[Scene: NNY street]

Bender: Amy, I reckon sweet talk don't come natural to me, but of everyone I've ever dated, you are probably in the top ten.

Amy: Aw, you always say just the wrong thing in just the right way. [They kiss]

Preacherbot: Sinners! Robosexuality is an abomination!

Bender: Oy, this guy.

Preacherbot: The good book sayeth a robot shall not lie down with a human, nor do it standing up, nor any angle in between.

[A crowd has formed. They agree with the Preacherbot]

Bender: Look! A single mother! Let's get her! [The crowd runs off]

[Bender and Amy walk off]
[Scene: Planet Express ship basement.]

Farnsworth: Quickly, into the ship's basement! [Dr. Zoidberg scrambles into the basement and closes the door behind him. Everyone else is already there.] Now, then, as you all know, the county fair is approaching once again, so I'm preparing my entry of pickled winds and weathers. [Pan over the individual jars of weather] I've got sunny, snow flurry, hail with onions, even my grandmother's cranberry-raisin typhoon, but no tornado. I'll be damned if I let Mrs. Girdleson take the blue ribbon again. [He opens some blinds revealing a farmhouse being blown away in a tornado, it has Bender's graffiti on it.] That's why I need you folks to get out there and harvest a nice ripe one. This cattle prod should help.

Leela: How is that? [The Professor zaps with the prod and she screams.]

Farnsworth: Get out there!

[Scene: Planet Tornadus. The crew are situated around a tornado. They are using jet packs and devices to extract the tornado.]

Leela: Is everybody in position?

Amy: What?

Zoidberg: Is someone talking?

Leela: Okay, good. On three. One.

Hermes: What did she say?

Leela: Two.

Bender: Wait, I'm not in position. [He is being blown around by the winds]

Leela: Three.

Zoidberg: I'm ready for the countdown.

Leela: I'm not hearing anyone! Abort mission!

Fry: She said, "Go!"

[Everyone begins shooting wildly at the tornado.]
[Scene: Planet Express Ship basement]

Farnsworth: Good work, everyone. [A tornado has somehow been shoved into a large tube. It is attached to a pickle jar by a hose.]

Leela: Honestly, that went better than I expected.

Farnsworth: I just need to reduce it down into this pickle jar, toss in a bay leaf to impress those stupid judges. [He puts the leaf into the pickle jar.]

Fry: Hey, where's Amy and Bender?

Zoidberg: They're missing out on some hot pickle action. [He licks his mouth flaps.]

[The Professor presses a button and turns a switch on his machine. The tornado is being decanted into the pickle jar. Bender and Amy can be heard giggling.]

Hermes: Sounds like a muskrat's caught in there.

[Amy's sweatshirt whips around in the tornado.]

Leela: That's Amy's sweatshirt!

[Bender's hat appears]

Fry: And that's Bender's hat from the Player's ball!

Hermes: Sweet tornadoes of Barbados! Bender and Amy have been torn to shreds!

Farnsworth: [He presses a few more buttons and more of Bender's and Amy's things appear in the whirlwind.] Oh, the humanity! Also Bender!

Amy: [The whirlwind whips faster revealing Bender and Amy. The tornado stops and they fall to the floor, still kissing.] Uh-oh!

Farnsworth: What's going on here?

Bender: Uh. [He antenna recedes.] Nothing.

[Scene: Planet Express Meeting room. Everyone except the Professor is sitting. The Professor is pacing back and forth.

Farnsworth: A pair of deviant robosexuals. Not under my roof!

Bender: What about on the roof?

Farnsworth: Get your mind out of the gutter!

Bender: What about in the gutter?

Leela: Professor, there is nothing wrong with robosexuality.

Hermes: Yeah, when the lights go out, it's nobody's business what happens between two consenting adults.

Zoidberg: Or one!

Amy: Thanks, guys. Everything will be okay just as long as my parents don't find out.

Farnsworth: Zai jian. [He hangs up his cellphone and begins whistling innocently and walks to the door. A doorbell rings. He opens it. Leo and Inez are there.]

Amy: Mom? Dad?

Leo: Come home, Amy. It your decision. We can't make you. [He pulls out a lasso and lassos Amy] Atta girl!

[The Professor closes his cellphone again and begins whistling]

Bender: Uh-oh! not the innocent whistling!

Preacherbot: [The doorbell rings and the Preacherbot is there] Repent!

Bender: Oy, this guy. [A magnet attaches to his chest cabinet and he is dragged off.]

[Scene: Wong Ranch. No Brokebacking]

Inez: Look, we're your family. And if you can't talk about your problems with us, that would be great.

Amy: I don't have a problem! I'm in a happy relationship that just happens to be robosex-

Leo: [Cutting across her.] You finish that word, you kill your parents.

Wine Bucket: Low wine level detected. [He fills Amy's glass]

Amy: Thank you.

Leo: Stop seducing him, you hussy!

Amy: Dad, gleesh! I'm attracted to Bender, not his emotionless wine bucket!

Wine Bucket: [A tear rolls down its face] Hopes deleted.

[Scene: Camp Rectifier. Praying on the weak since 2976.]

Preacherbot: Robotic brothers, the path to Robot Hell is paved with human flesh.

[In addition to Bender, there is the Hermaphrobot, Fatbot, and an unknown robot]

Bender: Neat!

Preacherbot: Over the course of this escape-proof workshop, your software will be reprogrammed through prayer. And by some tech support guys in India.

Robosexual Robot: But I read in Esqwired that some robots are hardwired to be robosexual.

Preacherbot: Don't believe those lies, son! The one ones worth believing are the ones in the Bible. Can I get an "Amen"?

Hermaphrobot: I'll take a-three-men, holla!

[Scene: Wong Ranch. Amy is rocking on a porch swing.]

Inez: Come on, Amy! Pick a male human already! [There is a line of men standing near the porch.] I want to be a grandmother nine months from five minutes from now.

Amy: Cut it out, Mom! I'm not interested in any of these gross, ugly losers.

Fry: [Walking up] What about this gross, ugly, smelly loser?

Leo: Fry! What you doing here?

Fry: I'm here to rescue Amy, uh... from her robosexual desires. [He winks.]

Amy: If I understand you correctly, I've seen the error of my ways? [She winks back.]

Leo: Look at all that awkward winking.

Inez: It must be love. [Fry and Amy walk off]

[Scene: Planet Express ship]

Amy: My parents may be evil, but at least they're stupid.

[Scene: Camp Rectifier]

Preacherbot: [The campers and the Preacherbot are standing near some dummies of humans.] In this phase, you will literally wrestle with your demons. Your shapely, buxom, human demons.

Fatbot: Look at the rack on that one! Oh! I mean, that one on the rack!

Preacherbot: [He blows a whistle and the campers each jump on a dummy and start fondling them.] Good! That's real good! [He wipes away some sweat.] Okay, everybody switch demons. No point sticking with just one demon. [The campers all switch dummies.] Now, work it hard! Harder! Till the sin explodes! Ouch! Mmmm. Mercy. Okay, Lord's work is done. Now, now, cuddle. Cuddle with your demons.

Bender: Oh, Amy. I wonder where you are right now!

Amy: I'm inside the dummy to rescue you.

Bender: That answers that. Wait... Amy? [He begins kissing the demon]

Leela: [Fry and Leela can be heard groaning] Bender, be careful!

Bender: Fry? Leela? You're in there, too? Blech.

Zoidberg: I guess we should have waited in the ship.

[Scene: Planet Express meeting room. Bender and Amy are kissing.]

Bender: Listen up, everybody, I love Amy and I'm tired of pussyfootcupping around! I finally found someone I want to spend the rest of her life with. Amy, [He lowers his body and pulls a ring out of his chest cabinet. It has a tag that says exhibit A.] will you marry me?

Amy: Yes! Yes!

[Everyone else beside the Professor begins cheering]

Farnsworth: Oh, I'm just glad I didn't live to see this day! Wait a second, [He checks his pulse and hears only one beat] No!

Zoidberg: [He is admiring Amy's ring] Such a stone. Is it real? [Amy pulls up Zoidberg's coat and uses the diamond to cut through Zoidberg's skin, revealing his internal organs.] Horray!

Farnsworth: Horray denied! Need I remind you that robosexual marriage is illegal!

Leela: Not in Space Massachusetts.

Bender: You mean Space-tax-achusetts. No chance, stretch pants! We're gonna fight to legalize it right here!

Hermes: Yeah, man! You got to legalize it!

Amy: We're talking about robosexual marriage.

Hermes: We're talking about lots of stuff.

[Scene: Gearwhich Village Pride Parade. Fry is eating a hot dog.]
[The Hot Dog Stand grows limbs and a head.]

Fry: Cool! Can you turn into a race car?

Hot Dog Stand: Nah, I'm just a pre-op transformer.

Amy: [on stage] Thank you for coming, everyone. We're all having some good, clean fun here.

Hedonism Bot: [In a bondage outfit] Squeaky, squishy clean! [The Hot Dog Stand vomits hot dogs on Hedonism Bot.]

Amy: But it's time to discuss a pressing issue, the right to marry who, or what, we want! [The crowd cheers]

Bender: Every other couple has the right to marry, robot and fembot, [Cut to the Donbot and Fanny, man and woman, [Pan to Pauly Shore and Michelle, man and man [Pan to Randy Munchnik, his partner, and their poodle.]

Randy: Our poodle has two daddies.

Bender: Interracial, [Pan to two aliens who are half-black and half-white], Interplanetary, [Pan to a blob and a woman], even ghost and horse, [a ghost is floating nearby with a horse inside its body] but not robot and human.

[The crowd boos and the ghost boos in a scary tone.]

Amy: That's why we're introducing this ballot initiative to legalize robosexual marriage.

[The crowd cheers]

Bender: If you hate intolerance and begin punched in the face by me, please support Proposition Infinity!

[A montage of campaign efforts. Amy pins a button to an alien. He is popped by the button and floats away. Bender puts tile graffiti on URL's back and laughs]

Bender: Damn it!

[The montage continues while Bender gets hit by URL. The crew holds a sign that reads "Stand up for equality" while nearby the Professor, Hattie and two others have a sign that reads, "Fall down and be unable to get up for traditional marriage".]

[Scene: √2 News broadcast.]

<poem>Linda: [on TV] As election day nears, prop infinity seems doomed to certain defeat.

Morbo: [on TV] Doooooooomed!

Linda: [on TV] More fair and balanced coverage after a word from our sponsor, No on Infinity.

[A Parody of the National Organization for Marriage's ad begins. Storm clouds roll in.]

Actor 1: A storm is gathering.

Actor 2: A storm of robosexual marriage that will rain down on us like fire.

Actor 1: It's probably a firestorm.

Actress: If robosexual marriage becomes legal, imagine the horrible things that will happen to our children, then imagine we said those things, since we couldn't think of any. As a mother, those things worry me.

Man: [Voice over] Vote No on Infinity. Paid for by the Farnsworth Foundation.

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge.]

Amy: We can't compete against that much stock footage of clouds! We're boned!

Bender: But we still have one hope, my big televised debate! I'm our A in the hole!

Fry: Professor, who's debating for your side?

Farnsworth: Oh, that guy, you know, I forget his name.

[Scene: Debate Hall]

Farnsworth: [Pointing to a live image of himself on a television screen.] That's him!

George Takei's head: Good evening, I'm George Takei's head and neck, your host for tonight's debate. You may applaud. [The crowd does.] We flipped a coin before the debate and Bender stole it, so we'll start with him.

Bender: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I... Oops. Sorry, force of habit. I support this proposition because I love a goopy, flesh-and-blood woman, and not surprisingly, she loves me. This is a simple matter of justice, which I'm not normally for. So, please, vote yes. After all, our love isn't any different than yours, except it's hotter, 'cause I'm involved.

[The crowd cheers and applauds]

Takei: I haven't heard such an eloquent speech since Bill Shatner explained why he couldn't pay me back. Rebuttal, Professor?

Farnsworth: This $4 coffee pot talks about love, but what he describes is perversion.

Bender: You wouldn't know perversion if it put clamps on your testicles! You're just jealous, 'cause you've never known true love.

Farnsworth: Oh, no? Back when I was full of piss and vinegar, and my bed wasn't, I fell in love with the sweetest girl to ever skip through a field of posies. [Flashback to a younger Professor and Eunice skipping through posies.] Her name was Eunice, and we spent our blissful days working in a lab, developing a poison to wipe out that dreadful posy infestation. [Farnsworth handes Eunice some posies and she drips poison on them. They wilt. The Professor and Eunice kiss.] I thought our love would last forever. But then, 43 years later, she left me [Eunice is in bed with a robot.] for a robot! [End flashback] How could she do that to me, her Farnypoo?

Amy: That's it? You hate robosexual 'cause your girlfriend left you for a robot?

Farnsworth: She didn't just leave me for a robot. She was a robot! [The crowd gasps.] Oh, God! Her name wasn't Eunice, it was Unit! Unit 47. [The same flower scene plays but Eunice is replaced with Unit 47.] My heart was broken, and like a bitter, old picklepuss, I took my anger out on robosexuals everywhere. I'm so ashamed! At the risk of losing this debate, I beg you, support Proposition Infinity. [The crowd cheers]

Bender: Give me a hug. [He jumps the Professor]

George Takei's head: I, too, am hugging them in spirit. And now, they're hugging me back. Oh, my!

[Scene: Planet Express Lounge. The crew is watching TV.]

Linda: [on TV] In a stunning turnout, voters have approved Proposition Infinity. Robosexual marriage is now legal.

Morbo: [on TV] What's next, gay robosexual marriage?

[The crew cheers]

Amy: We did it, honey! Finally, we can have a legal, monogamous marriage, like everyone else!

Bender: Woo-hoo! Yeah! ... Monogamous? [Cut to Bender on a beach with two hookerbots]

[Cut back to Planet Express]

Radio announcer: And now, a long-distance dedication from a squishy, green bad boy to his pink pork dumpling. [A motorcycle revs outside. Kif is driving and wearing a leather jacket, sunglasses and boots.] At number 12, it's Wailing Fungus with "Shut Up and Love Me".

[As the song plays, Kif and Amy ride off into the sunset.]
[Closing Credits.]

Wailing Fungus: [Singing.] I told you where.
I told you when.
I told you how.
And we'll meet up at ten.
But you keep on talkin'.
You keep on yackin'.
Chorus: Shut up and love me! Shut up and love me!