Transcript:Meanwhile

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Transcript for
Meanwhile
Written byKen Keeler
Transcribed byJasonbres


[Scene: Earth's moon. Emotional music plays as the Planet Express Ship swoops by. At the moon amusement park, we see the glass-domed amusement park from episode 102. A sign reads: "Luna Park". We pan to a parking area where another sign reads: "Luna Parking". The ship lands. Bender cartwheels out happily.]

Bender: [scats]

[Fry and Leela in spacesuits step out behind him onto the barren cratered surface. They're holding hands. Fry looks thoughtful.]

Fry: Remember this place, Leela?

Leela: Yep. The moon. It's been here for quite a while.

Fry: Yeah, but it's also where we came on our very first delivery together.

Leela: Oh, right. Man, we sure used to try harder back then.

[Without looking, Leela tosses a package marked "FRAGILE" over her shoulder. It bounces off a bin marked "Deliveries" and lands in the ground with a crash. Moments later, Fry and Leela stroll through the hubbub of Moon Street, USA. Leela holds a giant plush buggalo toy. The moon mascot, Craterface, is selling balloons.]

Craterface: Get your likeness in the form of a balloon sculpture! A cherished family keepsake for hours to come!

[Fry hands Craterface a bill.]

Fry: One Leela, please. And use your finest balloons.

[Craterface quickly inflates a fifty-foot long purple, white, and flesh-toned balloon, and twists it into an amazingly accurate full-scale Leela.]

Leela: Wow! You're good!

Craterface: Five years of art school. [laughs, then cries]

[Cut to: A carnival ride. It's a scrambler-type ride with 16 arms. A sign reads: "MECHA-HEXADECAPUS: Please barf with the wind". Bender, holding two corndogs, sits down next to a young boy.]

Bender: Hey, want a corndog?

Boy: Sure!

Bender: Then your mom shoulda bought you one! [munches it and laughs]

[Then Bender eats both of the greasy corn dogs. We pan over to see Fry and Leela in the next car. Leela still has her balloon sculpture and her big stuffed animal. A carnie lowers their lap bar.]

Carnie: Hold tight! The Mecha-Hexadecapus is about to flail erratically into action!

[The carnie throws a lever, the machine powers up.]
[Cut to: Bender and the kid. Bender looks queasy.]

Bender: [gags] Y'know, I'm feelin' a little... BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGHHH... BLLLEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGHHH....... BLLEEEEEEEEGGGGH....

[Bender vomits out a stream of metal nuts and bolts. We see a closeup of the carnival ride motor. Various gears control the spinning ride. The nuts and bolts rain down and one large piece lodges in the gears, bringing it to an abrupt halt.]
[Cut to: Fry and Leela as the ride slams to a stop. Leela flies out of the seat at tremendous speed still holding her souvenirs.]

Leela: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!

[She flies through the air and smashes out through the glass dome. Air wooshes through the hole.]

Fry: LEELAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[Sucked in by the crushing air, Craterface flies into frame and plugs the hole. After a beat, a beer bottle flies into frame and lodges into Craterface's eye. Bender laughs.]
[Cut to: A corporate office, a little later. Sign reads: "Luna Park: A Very Limited Liability Company". Inside, Fry falls to his knees and sobs.]

Fry: Poor Leela! I never even told her I loved her!

Bender: What?! You told her like 140 times!!

Fry: Yeah, but she paid very little attention to me. Oh, Bender, I always thought me and her would...grow old together.

Bender: [imitates game show buzzer] You gotta live in the moment, baby! And this moment, Leela's dead.

[Just then, two moon patrolmen drag in Leela's stuffed buggalo toy and drop it. Fry struggles to his feet.]

Moon Patrolman #1: Sir, we have some good news and some bad news. The good news is we found your stuffed animal.

Fry: What's the bad news?

Moon Patrolman #1: Your wife is dead.

Fry: She wasn't my wife!

Moon Patrolman #1: Oh. Then there is no bad news.

[Patrolmen exit. We hear sad music. As Fry sobs, suddenly a knife blade pokes out from inside the stuffed animal and rips it open. Fry gasps. Leela wriggles out holding the balloon sculpture nuzzled to her mouth and breathing air from it desperately.]

Fry: Leela! You're alive!!

[Fry hugs her, causing the balloon to fly around the room as it deflates. It lands on Fry's shoulder, now resembling a limp, shrunken Leela.]

Leela: She gave her life to save mine!

[Scene: The Robot Arms Apartments, night. We go inside Fry and Bender's apartment. Bender is standing absolutely motionless in his tiny room from episode 103. After a long moment of silence, there's a knock on the door.]

Fry: Bender, can I come in and talk?

Bender: Kinda busy!

[The door opens. Fry squeezes in with difficulty.]

Fry: Seeing Leela fly off the Hexadecapus and crash through the moon dome and surviving inside a stuffed animal by breathing a balloon was a dose of reality.

Bender: [sarcastically] Come in!

Fry: All this time, I've been wondering if I can spend my life with her, and what I realize now is I can't spend my life without her! So tomorrow, I'm asking her to marry me!

Bender: Nuh-huh. Good talk. We're done here.

[Fry exits. The camera lingers on Bender as a single tear wells up in his eye.]

Bender: [sniffs] My little meatbag's growing up!

[Scene: Planet Express, the next morning. In the conference room, the whole crew is gathered at the table and Hermes barks out a command.]

Hermes: Computer, Jamaican joy juice! Hot!

[A mug of steaming liquid materializes in a glass bell jar on the table. Hermes shatters the jar with a small hammer, lifts the cup and sips.]

Hermes: Ah!

[The professor enters.]

Farnsworth: GNE! [He holds up a handheld device with one big red button and a green LED.] Behold, the time button! A pocket-sized device that sends the entire universe 10 seconds into the past! I will now demonstrate.

[He presses the button. A spherical blue aurora briefly surrounds the professor and he disappears. Everyone else reverts their position of 10 seconds eariler.]
[Cut to: 10 seconds eariler. Hermes is finishing ordering his drink exactly as before.]

Hermes: ...joy juice! Hot!

[The drink appears. Hermes smashes the glass again.]

Hermes: Ah!

[The professor re-enters.]

Farnsworth: Pretty cool, eh? I'm over here where I was 10 seconds ago!

Amy: Something's cool? Show it to us!

Farnsworth: Eh, wha? Oh, right! You were outside the button ball, so you don't remember a thing I said. Let's try again. But this time, everyone cram into my time shelter.

[He indicates a small mud hut made from a gloppy metallic substance.]

All: Oooh, ahh, etc.

Farnsworth: It's coated with anti-chronoton-resistant grout to shield you from the effects of the button. Come on! Get in! Hurry up!

[The crew members squeeze in and peer out through a shimmering force window. Just then, Zoidberg enters the room excitedly.]

Zoidberg: Friends, I found ten dollars!

[The Professor steps toward Zoidberg.]

Farnsworth: Ten dollars, you say? Let me see.

[Zoidberg takes the bill from his pocket.]

Zoidberg: It fell off a man. The man got into a taxi. But the money did not.

[The Professor snatches the money. Pockets it and presses the button. The blue aurora surrounds him, but not Zoidberg. Zoidberg disappears, but after a second, the door opens and he runs in again.]

Zoidberg: Friends, I found ten dollars!

Farnsworth: You found some money? Show me!

[Zoidberg turns his coat pocket inside out but finds nothing.]

Zodiberg: Ohhhh...

[The Professor waves his own bill.]

Farnsworth: Say, check out the money I found! it fell off a chump! [laughs]

Amy: Hey, Professor, couldn't you go back in time as far as you want by pressing the button over and over?

Farnsworth: Certainly not! Each time the button sends you back 10 seconds, it takes 10 seconds to recharge!

Amy: Well, that makes sense.

[The LED on the device blinks from red to green.]

Farnsworth: There. It's recharged.

[He presses the button and the blue sphere flashes again. Zoidberg pops back to his previous position again turning his coat pocket inside out.]

Zodiberg: Ohhhh...

Hermes: Again! Again!

[Fry raises his hand as he looks at Leela.]

Fry: Uh, question. What if you had a special moment that you wish could go on forever? Could the time button make it last as long as you want it?

Farnsworth: Hell no! This button is for scientific use only!

[The light blinks from red to green and the Professor presses it again. Flash. Zoidberg is once more turning his pocket inside out.]

Zodiberg: Ohhhh...

[Fry stares at the time button deviously. His eyes narrow as in the Fry meme image.]
[Cut to: A jewelry store, later. A sign at the jewelry store reads: "Ultra Guy's Custom Diamonds". Inside, in a close-up, we see the button in Fry's hand as we widen to reveal Fry and Bender at the jewelry counter. Ultra Guy, a seedy hoot superhero in cape, tights, shades and a cigarette steps forward.]

Fry: Uh, yes, I'd like an engagement diamond, please.

Ultra Guy: Ya come to the right joint, Ace!

[Ultra Guy takes out a tray filter with lumps of coal and places it on the counter. Fry points to one lump.]

Fry: I'll take...this one.

Ultra Guy: Classy choice, chief! She'll crap her pants!

[Ultra Guy picks up the coal and crushes it in his fists. He opens it to reveal a large sparkling diamond.]

Ultra Guy: That'll be five bills.

[Suddenly, Fry grabs the gem and tosses it into Bender's chest where we see many many similar stones. Bender shuts the door.]

Ultra Guy: Hey, gimme back my stones!

[Fry hurriedly presses the time button. The aurora surrounds him and Bender. The tray of coal pops back under the counter. Ultra Guy disappears, then steps back into frame just as before.]

Fry: Hello, stranger! This is my first time here! Do you sell diamonds?

Ultra Guy: Ya come to the right joint, Ace!

[He brings out the lumps of coal again. Fry and Bender glance at each other sneakily and laugh.]
[Scene: Elzar's restaurant, later. A sign reads: "Brunch Special: Filet of skeleton". Inside, Fry and Leela are at a candlelit table. Fry has an emotional expression.]

Fry: I guess what I'm saying is, the next time you almost die, I want it to be as my wife! [Leela gasps. Fry turns to Elzar.] The clam, Elzar.

[Elzar places a fancy silver tray for Leela. He lifts the lid to reveal a single footlong giant clam.]

Elzar: Clam, bam, thank you, ma'am!

[Tears well up in Leela's eyes.]

Leela: Fry?

[Leela opens the top of the clam shell revealing a stunning ring with 15 diamonds on it.]

Fry: Leela...my love...[sniffs] will you—

[Suddenly, the clam snaps shut on Leela's hand, severing it at the wrist. Her bloody hand drops onto the table.]

Leela: AAAAAAHHHH!!!

[After a moment of screams, Petunia leans over from the next table.]

Petunia: I'll have what she's havin'.

References