Transcript:Lethal Inspection
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| Transcript for | |
| Lethal Inspection | |
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| Written by | Lewis Morton |
| Transcribed by | Teyrn of Highever |
- [Opening Credits: Made you look!]
- [Scene: Sith-il War Memorial. The crew are walking through the trees. They are dressed as Union soldiers. The Professor groans]
Farnsworth: I fear I may not survive this war reenactment. We’re only twelve feet from the parking lot.
Fry: [standing in mud, surrounded by flies] This is every bit as fun as the real Civil War.
Leela: Not the Civil War private. We’re reinacting the Sith-il War. [She points to a plaque that says “Sith Invasion of 2865 Historic Site]
Fry: Sith? What the Hoth?
Bender: Enemy invaders! Up in yonder sky!
[A ship that looks like a TIE Bomber is landing infront of the crew. It is really a regular spaceship with cardboard attached to the front. The ship lands and nerds walk in front of the crew. They are all holding toy lightsabers]
Darth Stroyer: I am Darth Stroyer.
Fry: Darth Stroyer? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.
Leela: Let’s hear the rest.
Darth Trocious: Darth Trocious.
Darth Sploder: Darth Sploder.
Darth Urderer: Darth Urderer.
Darth Ithead: Darth Ithead. [His lightsaber malfunctions and he has to turn it back on]
Leela: Company! Attack!
[The crew and the nerds let out battle cries and attack each other. Hermes comes up with a desk on wheels]
Hermes: Don’t fire until you see the greens of their eyes! It saves on bullets.
[Everyone is attacking members of the other side. Fry and Darth Trocious are fighting each other but have to stop for Hattie and her dog. Scruffy is fighting Darth Stroyer. He loses his lightsaber.]
Darth Stroyer: I shall rip out your heart and show it to you! [touches Scruffy with a lightsaber] It is done.
Scruffy: The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long. [He lays on the ground and acts dead.] Mhrm.
[The Professor is walking until he is stopped by Darth Sploder holding him at saber point. The Professor screams.]
Darth Sploder: You're dead!
Farnsworth: No, I'm just very old. [He makes choking noises and falls down]
Darth Sploder: [He taps the Professor with his foot and gets no response.] Woah! That good acting!
Fry: It's payback time Sploder! [Fry's gun fires a beam that tags Sploder then falls flat. Fry presses a button on his gun and the beam retracts.]]
Darth Sploder: Tell my mother... to pick me up outside Quiznos.
Hermes: [Wheeling his desk up] That's three dead. Uh-oh. Let's pick up the pace people. At this point in the actual war, the death toll was ninety-eight million. [He gestures towards a large set of graves nearby]
Bender: [Laughing] You humans and your fragile organs. One little stab to the goo and [He blows a raspberry]