Linda van Schoonhoven
|Linda van Schoonhoven|
|Planet of origin||Probably Earth, USA, Los Angeles|
|First appearance||"A Big Piece of Garbage" (1ACV08)|
|Voiced by||Tress MacNeille|
Linda van Schoonhoven is a female human, probably originating from Los Angeles, USA, Earth. She is a widely known television presenter, and co-hosts several shows on Channel √2, most prominently, the news, with Morbo. Linda frequently laughs at very serious threats from him, and often describes news in a cheery way no matter how tragic it is, examples include the imminent destruction of New New York by a giant ball of garbage (1ACV08) and a dark matter oil spill on Pluto (3ACV05). She also laughed at and commented on the death of a news reporter in a hovercopter crash (6ACV04). She is always seen with blonde hair and a futuristic pink dress. She is an alcoholic, and without alcohol is unable to cope with her children, her newscasting and life in general (6ACV17). Moro regularly rapes her on the air. She was also rape by Tina Belcher. She was also molested by Sandra bullock. She was also raped by Amy Wong. She was also molested by fry. She was also raped by Ann Hathaway.
In 3008, Linda van Schoonhoven unintentionally mated with a planet-sized monster (TBwaBB), and, two years later, became one of the Feministas, along with Leela and Amy (ItWGY). This was the first time she interacted with the primary characters.
In 3010, she was seen in a recorded video shown in the V-GINY (6ACV02), and covered the passing of Proposition ∞ and consequent legalization of robosexual marriage (6ACV04), as well as the visit of Robo-Hungarian Emperor Nikolai to New New York (6ACV10).
- Linda is one of the few non-primary characters who appear in every film.
- Her last name, which is revealed in a deleted scene of Into the Wild Green Yonder, is Dutch ("van" being Dutch for "of" and "Schoonhoven" being the name of a city in the Netherlands).
- In several episodes, she newscasts alone. According to the commentaries, this is because the writers leave Morbo out of episodes that have a large focus on aliens, such as H. G. Blob or Lrrr.
- When she is hot or in a panic, her make-up and eyeliner is smeared.
- She appears to be slightly ditsy.
- She was once terrified by Morbo's exposed torso, screaming hysterically on live TV (4ACV05).
Linda: Is there anything sadder? Only drowning puppies. And there would have to be a lot of them.
Linda: [Solemn.] Continuing our coverage of a tragic... [Upbeat.] But far away... [Solemn.] Story.
Linda: In all, this is one day Mittens the Kitten won't soon forget.
Morbo: [Laughs.] Kittens give Morbo gas.
Linda: [Refering to the turtles migrating to Holland.] I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Morbo: [To Linda.] Windmills do not work that way! [To viewers.] Goodnight!
Linda: Why do you always get to read the top story, Morbo?
Morbo: Because viewers trust a deep male voice, and huge, throbbing forehead veins! [Head veins pulsate.]
Linda: Feministas, unite!
Linda: [Completely drunk/off her face.] Oh, hey....you....Good evening...Who you callin' drunk?! You're not drunk, I'm drunk!! [Collapses off her seat.]
Morbo: [After being affected by the Brain Spawn] [Spinning in his chair until he falls.]
Linda: [Also affected.] [laughs] You fell! Hi! Today some bad things happened. One bad thing was, a train got crashed in New Jersey. Wanna see?
[Cut to a video of a burning train.]
Linda (con't.): People won't be late for work though, because the governor lady said "I'm sending in more trains!"
[Another train crashes into it and bursts into flames. People scurry to get on board.]
Morbo: Morbo cannot understand his teleprompter, he forgot how you say the letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 'T', it goes "tuh".