Transcript:The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings
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|The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings|
|Written by||Ken Keeler|
|Transcribed by||The Neutral Planet|
- [Opening Credits. Caption: See You On Some Other Channel. Above the caption Fry, Bender and Leela are heroes in an oval.]
- [Scene: Fry's and Bender's Lounge. A bad rendition of The Grumpy Snail comes from Fry's room. Bender, wearing pyjama trousers, pokes his head around the corner from his room.]
Bender: Huh? [He scratches his ass and looks at some signs on Fry's bedroom door. "No Trespassing", "Keep Out", "Private", "Keep Out Bender" and a picture of Bender with a cross through it.] I choose to not understand these signs.
- [He puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it.]
- [Cut to: Fry's Bedroom. The door opens and Bender sees Fry sat on his bed playing the holophonor. The green smoke snakes upwards from it but doesn't form a picture.]
- [Fry quickly hides the holophonor behind him.]
Fry: Bender? I was just not playing the holophonor.
- [He wafts the smoke away with his hand.]
Bender: Yeah, well you should try not stinking at it.
Fry: I am trying. I've been taking lessons.
Bender: Lessons? Oh, that's rich! Isn't it time you gave up all hope of ever improving yourself in any way?
Fry: I know I should but I just can't. Remember when I had those stomach worms that made me smart? I could play the holophonor and it made Leela like me. [He picks up a photo of Leela and him riding on the back of an angry looking Zoidberg.] Hey, Bender, as long as you know, I have a holophonor recital Tuesday. I'd really like to have somebody there. Please?
- [Bender sighs.]
Bender: Fine, I'll go already. Y'know, sometimes I wish your real parents were still alive. Not often, though.
- [He and Fry hug.]
- [Scene: Outside Holophonor School. The sign reads "Holophonor Teacher. Taking The Joy Out Of Music For 20 Years". Fry and Bender each ride a Segway on the pavement and Fry crashes his into Bender's.]
Bender: Whoa! Hey!
- [Scene: Holophonor School. A mother straightens her son's hair and the teacher, an old woman, approaches Fry and Bender carrying a tray.]
Fry: Uh, hello, Mrs. Mellonger.
Mrs. Mellonger: Hello, Philip. [She looks at Bender.] And you must be Mr. Bender. Philip's told me so much about you. Is it true that you're a robot?
Bender: I prefer the term "love machine".
- [He growls sexfully.]
- [Time Lapse. Everyone sits down and watches the boy with the untidy hair play Beethoven's Für Elise on his holophonor. The holographic smoke whirls around and forms a picture of an elegantly-dressed man and woman. The man plays an open grand piano and the woman sits on it. Some steps fly around the back of the piano and the woman walks up them. The man follows her and they climb into the clouds. A barrel rolls under them and scores 100 points for each like in the Donkey Kong game. The audience applauds. Bender leans over to the boy's mother.]
Bender: Wow! Your kid is great. How hard did you say you had to hit him?
Mother: Fairly hard.
- [Fry puts My First Holophonor on the music stand. He flips through it, sits down and clears his throat.]
Fry: The Grumpy Snail. [He plays the holophonor. An image of a grumpy snail slowly crawling along a branch forms. He plays a bad note and the snail turns around and glares at him angrily.] Sorry!
- [He carries on playing then starts playing badly. The snail turns into a slimy, salivating beast and growls at the audience. They scream.]
Boy: [crying] It's too grumpy!
- [A man screws up a piece of paper and throws it at Fry. More people throw paper at Fry and the snail disappears.]
Fry: Ow! No! Quit it! Stop!
- [Bender stands up, applauds and cheers. The audience stares at him.]
Mrs. Mellonger: Mr. Bender, I simply cannot teach your child.
Bender: Then good day, madam! [He pushes Fry through the door and closes it behind him. He opens it again and pokes his head back into the room.] We hope to see you soon for tea.
- [Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Bender and Fry sit at the table with the holophonor.]
Fry: It's hopeless! I can hear all this great music in my head but my stupid hands can't keep up.
Bender: Aww. You know what always cheers me up? Laughing at other people's misfortunes.
- [He laughs at Fry's misfortune. Enter Leela with a clipboard.]
Leela: Hey, guys. You missed a great delivery to Space Earth. Where you been all afternoon?
Fry: At, uh, uh, a concert.
Leela: Ooh! Was it jazz noodling? My ex-boyfriend Sean played the sax. I used to listen for hours while he sat naked on my couch and improvised.
Bender: So musicians really Rodger your Hammerstein, huh?
Leela: Yeah, it's weird; Sean was uneducated, unambitious. He was pastey and hunched--
Fry: [quietly] Pretty boy.
Leela: But when he played I could sense this incredible, beautiful creative soul. Then one day I found someone else's couch fibres on his butt. [muttering] I couldn't believe it. I was really...
- [She walks out into the meeting room. The door closes behind her and Fry stands up from the table.]
Fry: That could be my beautiful soul sitting naked on her couch if I could just learn to play this stupid thing.
- [Bender stands up.]
Bender: Oh, but you can. Though you may have to metaphorically make a "deal with the devil". And by "devil" I mean "Robot Devil". And by "metaphorically" I mean "get your coat".
- [Scene: Robot Hell. Hellbots torture robots and they scream. Beelzebot and his band of Hellbots practise the Robot Hell song. He plays his golden fiddle and then suddenly stops and groans.]
Robot Devil: You hit a sour note about 200 years back, Doug! [Doug, the Hellbot with the saxophone, hangs his head in shame.] Let's take it from the top. [Enter Bender and Fry on the slide. They land at the Robot Devil's feet.] Ah, Bender, Fry. You've come back for more eternal damnation.
- [Bender stands up and dust himself off.]
Bender: No, this isn't a religious visit. Fry just wants holophonor lessons.
- [Fry stands up.]
Fry: Yep. I need to get really good without practising.
- [The Robot Devil cackles.]
Robot Devil: Hell is full of ten-year-olds who wanted exactly the same thing. Trouble is, you have what my old music teacher, Mrs. Mellonger, calls "stupid fingers". [He twiddles his own fingers then slaps them.] With hands like that you'll be lucky to master a belt buckle. [Fry looks down and sees his trousers have fallen around his ankles. He quickly pulls them up.] Now wouldn't it be nice if you had a pair of robot hands to replace them?
Fry: Sure would. [He shrugs.] Oh, well. Goodbye.
- [He turns around and Bender stops him.]
Bender: Fry, you smelly idiot, I think he's willing to make some kind of deal with the devil with you.
Fry: He-He-He is? [He turns around.] Great! Wait, what's the catch?
Robot Devil: No catch. I'll merely pick a robot at random from somewhere in the universe, probably one you've never even met, and then I'll remove his hands and switch them for yours. [Bender rubs his hands with glee.] It's just the sort of guy I am. What do you say?
Fry: I don't know. It doesn't seem entirely moral to--
Bender: Fry, if you don't take this offer right now I will lose all respect for you and punch you.
- [The Robot Devil giggles and drums his fingers on the wheel.]
Fry: Well, alright. You sure I probably won't know him?
Robot Devil: Definitely probably not. [A column of rock rises up out of the ground with a piece of paper on top.] Just sign this contract.
- [Fry signs the contract and the Robot Devil pulls it away from him.]
Robot Devil: And here we go!
- [He spins the huge wheel and cackles.]
Bender: I got a hundred bucks on Rectal-Exambot!
- [They watch as the wheels cycles through hundreds of robots. It begins to slow down and passes Emotitron Jr., Ceiling Fan and Hookerbot. It reaches "Bender" and slows down even more. The arrow passes it and stops at "Robot Devil". The Robot Devil screams.]
Fry: Robot Devil? I get your hands? Zam!
Robot Devil: Oh, what an appallingly ironic outcome.
Bender: It's not ironic, it's just coincidental. Now fork over those lady-fingers, Cookie!
- [Fry holds out his hands and the Robot Devil sighs. He takes a meat cleaver out of his chest cabinet.]
Robot Devil: Y'know, I only put my name on there as a show of good faith for the other robots.
Fry: Stop being such a baby and chop my hands off.
Robot Devil: Oh, very well.
- [He quickly chops and swaps hands. Fry looks at his new hands.]
Fry: [impressed] How'd you do that?
Robot Devil: They're very good hands.
- [Fry flexes his new fingers.]
Fry: At last! At last I have the power to make Leela love me.
- [The hands grab him around the throat and start to choke him.]
Robot Devil: Oh, sorry. That'll wear off in a couple of days.
- [He looks at his new hands and Fry falls to the floor, still choking.]
- [Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. Farnsworth, Hermes, Leela, Amy, Zoidberg and Bender sit around the table. Enter Fry.]
Fry: Check it out, everyone. I'm back from hell and I've got the Robot Devil's hands.
Amy: Neat! Let's see a trick.
- [He spins off Bender's head and dismantles him, then he juggles the pieces. Bender panics as he juggles. Enter Scruffy.]
Scruffy: Somebody called the Robot Devil's here to see somebody called Fry.
- [He quickly puts Bender back together and runs out.]
Bender: Where'd I go just now?
- [Scene: Planet Express: Entrance. Fry walks into the foyer where the Robot Devil is already standing.]
Robot Devil: Hello, Fry. [He cackles.] Just dropped by to make sure you're as happy with our little deal as I am. [He cracks and grabs Fry by his jacket.] Give me back my hands! These things are always touching me in places.
- [Fry chuckles.]
Fry: Yeah, they get around! But I'm afraid we had a deal.
- [The Robot Devil groans.]
Robot Devil: Looks like I wasted a bus trip.
Fry: Yes, you did.
- [Montage: Fry sits in his bedroom playing The Grumpy Snail much better than before. Next, he plays Beethoven's Für Elise to Mrs. Mellonger and the man and woman dance. A formally-dressed grumpy snail slides between them and the man dances with him instead. A barrel rolls down the steps and knocks the woman over. At Hovercar-Negie Hall, Fry plays Bolero with a full orchestra to a captivated audience. His holo-dancers dance to the music and twist around the grumpy snail's eyestalks. The audience goes wild. From a balcony Leela watches with tears in her eye. She applauds.]
- [Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. There is an advertisement on TV presented by the grumpy snail. At the side of the screen is a picture of Fry in an oval holding his holophonor underneath "Fry's Greatest Holophonor Hits".]
Grumpy Snail: [on TV] Yes. Now you can hear holophonor virtuoso Philip Fry play 900 of these classic themes in your own home on this two-record set. [Behind him Fry walks along a sunset-lit beach playing his holophonor. The hologram flies to the front of the screen revealing it to be his album. The cover features him lying naked on a bed holding the holophonor.] That's over 30 minutes of music for only $14.99.
- [Fry sits on the couch. Zoidberg picks up the phone and dials.]
Zoidberg: Only $14.99 for a two-record set. Two records! Oh, Zoidberg, at last you're becoming a crafty consumer!
Man: [on phone] Hello?
Zoidberg: Hello? I'll take eight!
- [The doorbell rings. Scruffy walks in from the meeting room.]
Scruffy: Mr. Hedonismbot to see you.
Fry: Uh, show him in.
Scruffy: [bowing] Very good, sir.
- [He leaves. Enter Hedonismbot.]
Hedonismbot: Ah, Fry. Congratulations. Your latest performance was as delectable as dipping my bottom over and over into a bath of the silkiest oils and creams.
Fry: Thank you, sir. That's exactly what I was going for.
Hedonismbot: You were the sole diversion in what has been a pale and unamusing season. And so I would fain commission you write an opera.
- [He drops a bunch of grapes into his mouth.]
Fry: But I've never written an opera.
Hedonismbot: And I've never heard one. Still, if you can keep me amused through the overture I shall consider it a smashing success.
Fry: But I wouldn't even know what to write about. Unless... [He turns and looks at Leela, who sits at the table gorging on a buggalo leg dripping with barbecue sauce. He smiles and turns to Hedonismbot.] OK, I'll do it. If I can make it about Leela.
Leela: Me? Really?
Hedonismbot: A man writing an opera about a woman? [He laughs.] Oh, sirrah, how deliciously absurd! [He turns around to the door.] I shall see you at the premiere.
- [He laughs as he walks through the door.]
- [Scene: Planet Express: Hangar. Late at night, Leela hammers something inside the ships port wing. She hears music and looks around.]
- [Cut to: Planet Express: Attic Room. Leela walks in and sees holographic silhouettes coming from underneath a door.]
- [Cut to: Planet Express: Attic Balcony. Leela opens the door and sees Fry sat on the balcony playing the holophonor. In his image, two stick figures dance. He stops playing and writes some notes on a music sheet.]
Leela: Is it part of the opera?
- [Fry turns around and quickly puts the holophonor down.]
Fry: Leela! [He stands up.] You shouldn't be listening. I don't want you to hear it till it's done.
Leela: But it's so beautiful.
Fry: So's a peacock but you don't eat it until it's cooked. This has to be perfect. I want you to hear exactly what I hear when I think about you.
Leela: Oh, Fry. All this time you've had this incredible gift and I never knew. I've been a fool. A fully-justified, prudent fool. [She looks into his eyes and holds his hands then quickly takes hers away.] They're so cold.
Robot Devil: [shouting; from street] And yet hell is so hot! [He laughs briefly.] Can I have my hands back now?
Fry: [shouting] No!
Robot Devil: [shouting; from street] You're not nice!
- [Scene: Planet Express: Kitchen. Bender hums as he wanders into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist. He opens the fridge and screams as the Robot Devil leaps out of it.]
Robot Devil: Ah, Bender, this is a surprise! For you! Finding me in the refrigerator.
Bender: True, but at least I don't have the hiccups anymore. What up?
Robot Devil: Oh, well it so happens I'm in the mood to make a deal with you.
- [He puts his arms on Bender's shoulders but Bender pushes him away.]
Bender: Forget it! You can't tempt me.
- [He walks away and opens a cupboard.]
Robot Devil: [tempting] Really? There's nothing you want?
Bender: Hm. I forgot you could tempt me with things I want. [He scratches his chin and leans against the worktop.] Well, I suppose I've always wondered what it would be like to be more annoying.
- [The Robot Devil chuckles.]
Robot Devil: Nothing simpler! And all I ask in return is your hands. [He looks at Fry's hands.] To replace these bony hotdogs!
Bender: Grabby and Squeezy? Never! I love these guys!
- [The Robot Devil groans.]
Robot Devil: Well is there anything else you would part with?
Bender: No. Nothing. Ain't gonna happen.
- [Time Lapse. The Robot Devil screws a large, white airhorn into Bender's nose slot.]
Bender: Yes! With this built-in stadium airhorn I can really annoy people. And all it cost me was my crotch-plate.
- [He bends over, puts his hand in his chest cabinet and wiggles his hand between his legs.]
Robot Devil: You certainly are a shrewd businessman, Bender. [While Bender isn't looking he tosses the crotch-plate into the bin.] Now find someone and give 'em a good blast!
Bender: Yeah! That'll teach the first person I see a lesson.
- [He walks away.]
Robot Devil: Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!
- [He cackles.]
- [Cut to: Planet Express: Lounge. Amy sits on the couch eating a buggalo leg. Leela puts her handbag on her shoulder.]
Leela: Well, Fry's opera premiere's tomorrow night. I'm off to find a pair of formal gloves that'll fit over my enormous forearms.
- [Cut to: Planet Express Corridor. Leela walks through the door into the corridor between the lounge and meeting room and walks straight into Bender who blasts her with his airhorn. She holds her ears to block out the noise. Bender stops and laughs. The Robot Devil peeks around the corner from the meeting room.]
Bender: Pretty annoying, huh, Leela?
Leela: [shouting] What? Are you talking? Oh, God! I'm deaf!
Bender: Oops. I'm so, so sorry, Leela. I just wanted to annoy you.
Leela: [shouting] What? Oh, this is horrible. I won't be able to hear Fry's opera.
- [She cries. The Robot Devil stands at the end of the corridor watching them.]
Robot Devil: Ah, how delightfully ironic.
Bender: It's not ironic, it's just mean. Take this!
- [He blows the airhorn weakly.]
Robot Devil: Ooh! Out of aerosol? Also ironic!
Bender: Oh, yeah? Well bite my shiny metal-- [He points at where his crotch-plate used to be. No ass left to bite.] [shouting] Oh, nooo!
- [Scene: Outside Metropolitan House of Opera. The premiere of "Leela: Orphan Of The Stars".]
- [Cut to: Metropolitan House of Opera Auditorium. People stand on an upper level and wait for flying booths to carry them off to the upper gallery. The Planet Express staff (sans Fry) sit a few rows back from the front wearing formal clothes.]
Leela: Nobody tell Fry I'm deaf. If he found out I couldn't hear his opera, it'd break his heart.
Bender: OK, deaf-o!
- [A booth carrying Hedonismbot and his servants flies over the stage.]
Hedonismbot: Courtesans and gentle fops, I bid you welcome to my opera. Let us cavort like the Greeks of old. [sexfully] You know the ones I mean.
- [The booth flies away and an orchestra tunes. The lights dim, the orchestra stops and a spotlight follows Fry as he walks across the stage with his holophonor. The audience applauds and cheers.]
Leela: Yay, Fry!
- [Zoidberg leans forward to some people in front.]
Zoidberg: I watch TV with that guy!
- [Fry bows and sits down. He starts to play. The smoke forms an image of a title card that reads "Scene 1. Wherein Leela Is Found At The Orphanarium". The holo-scene changes to the steps of Cookieville Minimum Security Orphanarium. The people are real actors with holographic costumes. A group of Holo-orphans watch as a Holo-Vogel steps out of the building and sees Holo-Leela in a basket.]
Holo-Vogel: [singing] Who is this one-eyed female baby Moses,
With courage in her female baby smile?
Holo-Orphans: [singing] A saviour from the stars,
Or something stranger still.
Holo-Leela: [singing] Or just a lonely, filthy, starving child.
- [In the audience Leela leans to Amy.]
Leela: Amy, Fry's looking at me. What am I s'posed to be feeling? [Amy opens a box of "Emotion Flashcards" and takes out one of the hardhat guy crying.] Ah!
- [She faces the front and cries. Fry smiles and carries on playing.]
- [Time Lapse. On the stage, a big green Holo-Godzilla holds Holo-Fry in its hands. Holo-Bender watches as Holo-Leela points a laser at it.]
Holo-Bender: [singing] Leela! Leela, Leela save him!
Save Fry, save Fry,
Godzilla will devour him,
As for me,
I must be off,
To have my doctor check this cough,
- [He turns away but Godzilla slams its foot down and blocks his path. Bender watches.]
Bender: I don't recall ever fighting Godzilla, but that is so what I would have done.
- [Scene: Metropolitan House of Opera Lobby. It's the intermission and the audience are gathered outside the auditorium. Calculon and Preacherbot talk while Florp laughs. Amy and Hermes are at the bar.]
Amy: One diet double Martini, please.
Bartender: And for you, sir?
Hermes: I'll just have a Shirley Hemple.
- [Tinny Tim walks in with newspapers, passing Leela who stands by the coat room door.]
Tinny Tim: Extra! Extra! World's greatest opera only half over.
- [Leela reads the headline.]
Leela: Half over? Oh, I'd give anything to hear the rest.
- [The coat door opens, revealing the Robot Devil inside.]
Robot Devil: Anything? [Leela gasps and drops her glass. A man hands the Robot Devil his coat and he hands him a ticket.] Thank you, sir. [The man leaves and the Robot Devil turns to Leela.] Now, as I was saying, anything? Because I can give you new robotic ears!
- [He points at his ears.]
Leela: What? You can give me new ears? Wait. What seemingly reasonable thing do you want in return?
Robot Devil: Just your hands, my dear.
Leela: Whatever you said, forget it!
Robot Devil: Alright then, just one hand.
Leela: Just ... my left hand? Um, uh--
Announcer: Please take your seats for act two.
Hedonismbot: But I'm not done vomiting.
- [He laughs. Leela looks at the people behind her.]
Leela: I can't stand it! [She takes a deep breath.] OK. You can have my hand.
Robot Devil: Wonderful! [He produces another contract.] Just sign here. [Leela signs. Calculon walks by and the Robot Devil stops him.] Calculon, old friend, I'm afraid I need your ears.
Calculon: Well I do owe you for giving me this unholy [melodramatically] acting talent.
- [The Robot Devil takes Calculon's ears off his head and puts them into Leela's ears. She looks around and smiles.]
Leela: I can hear! I can hear like a safecracker! Hey, aren't you gonna take my hand?
Robot Devil: In good time. You go enjoy the opera.
- [Leela gives him a curious look and runs back into the auditorium.]
- [Scene: Metropolitan House of Opera Auditorium. Leela shuffles past the other staff and sits back in her seat. Fry plays the scene in Robot Hell where the Robot Devil decided whose hands to give him. Holo-Fry sees Leela as an angel on a cloud.]
Holo-Fry: [singing] To win Leela's heart with the holophonors art,
I need hands of transcendental quickness.
Holo-Robot Devil: [singing] Well I don't see any danger,
In gambling with a stranger,
For my head is of a most amazing thickness.
- [He spins the wheel and falls over. The audience laughs. At the back of the room the Robot Devil sees and growls. He stands up.]
Holo-Robot Devil: [singing] I'm stupid, I'm stupid,
I'm stupider than you,
I'm stupider than you in every way.
- [The real Robot Devil jumps onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: Stupider? Pah! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! [He kicks the Holo-Robot Devil actor off the stage. The audience gasps. Fry stops playing and the holo-scene fades, leaving the Holo-Fry actor standing on the stage in his underpants.] Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry.
Fry: Look, what do you want?
Robot Devil: [singing] I want my hands back.
- [He laughs and columns of flame explode behind him. Fry stands up.]
(singing) A deal's a deal,
Even with a dirty dealer.
Robot Devil: [singing] Very well,
Then I'll take what I want from Leela.
- [The spotlight moves from the stage to Leela. Beelzebot extends his arms and pulls her from her seat onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: [singing] Leela has promised me her hand.
- [The audience gasps.]
Leela: [singing] Fry, you do not understand.
- [The music slows down and the spotlight narrows as Leela walks across the stage.]
Leela: [singing] I should have revealed I've been deafened by Bender,
But I feared you'd stop writing this musical splendour,
Deception's the curse of my whimsical gender,
He gave me mechanical ears,
Effective though just a bit garish,
In return without shedding a tear,
I agreed that I'd give him my hand--
Robot Devil: [singing] In marriage!
- [Fry gasps.]
Robot Devil: [singing] You'd give me your hand in marriage.
- [He gets down on one knee. The audience watches. Farnsworth watches through some opera glasses which are just as thick as his normal ones.]
Hermes: [singing] Is this really happening or just being staged?
Farnsworth: [singing] It can't be real--
Amy: [singing] Not if Leela is engaged.
Leela: [singing] That isn't what I meant,
That isn't what I signed.
- [The Robot Devil takes the contract out of his chest cabinet.]
Robot Devil: [singing] You should have checked the wording in the fine... [He makes the contract larger.] Print.
Leela: [reading] I'll give you my hand...
Leela: and [singing] In marriage.
- [In the audience, Bender reads from a dictionary.]
Bender: [singing] The use of words expressing something other than their literal intention,
Now that is "irony".
- [The Robot Devil pulls Preacherbot out of his seat and onto the stage.]
Robot Devil: [singing] I will marry her now and confine her to hell,
Where Styx is a river,
And not just a band,
Though they'll play our reception if all goes as planned,
Unless, Fry, you surrender my hands!
- [Fry looks at the hands on his wrists. The spotlight narrows over him.]
Fry: [singing] Destiny has cheated me,
By forcing me to decide upon,
The woman that I idolise,
Or the hands of an automaton,
Without these hands I can't complete,
The opera that was captivating her,
But if I keep them,
And she marries him,
Then he probably won't want me dating her.
- [The audience applauds and cheers. Nixon sits next to Morbo and his wife.]
- [Zapp sits on a balcony with a date.]
Zapp: Bray-vo! Enn-core!
Farnsworth: [singing] I can't believe the devil is so unforgiving.
Zoidberg: [singing] I can't believe everybody's just ad-libbing!
- [Leela struggles to get out of Beelzebot's hold as Fry gazes at his hands.]
Preacherbot: [singing] By the power vested in me,
By the state of New New York--
Fry: No! [He pushes the Robot Devil away from Leela.] Stop! Take my hands!
(singing) You evil, metal dork!
- [He falls to his knees and cries. The Robot Devil cackles, pulls out his cleaver and chops his hands off Fry's wrists. Leela gasps and the lights dim.]
Hedonismbot: Surgery in an opera? How wonderfully decadent and just as I was beginning to lose interest. [He turns to his servants.] Jombey! The chocolate icing! [One of the servants starts spreading chocolate icing over Hedonismbot's stomach. He giggles.] Oh! Oh, my!
- [The Robot Devil screws his hands back onto his wrists and Fry looks at his own.]
Fry: My hands. My horrible human hands. [He gasps.] And what did you do to my nails?
Robot Devil: I cleaned them. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's my poker night and I feel lucky. [He giggles.] So it's back to hell for me. Come on, Nixon!
- [He picks up Nixon's jar.]
- [They vanish in a flash of smoke. The audience murmurs in confusion and don't notice the Robot Devil running out of the auditorium behind them.]
Hedonismbot: Less reality, more fantasy. Resume the opera.
Fry: But I can't play anymore.
Zoidberg: [shouting] Yes you can! The beauty was in your heart, not your hands. [Fry picks the holophonor up and plays a bad tune. A crude holo-scene forms. A crude Holo-Fry and Holo-Leela walk out of some houses and stare at each other. The audience "boos".] The music's bad and you should feel bad.
- [The audience gets up and walks out, throwing paper at Fry along the way. He yells.]
Fry: Whoa! Hey!
- [Scene: Outside Metropolitan House of Opera. The audience flock out of the opera house. Tinny Tim has a new newspaper.]
Tinny Tim: [shouting] Extra! Extra! Greatest opera of all time sucks.
Zoidberg: I'll take eight!
- [He hands Tinny Tim some money and picks up a pile of newspapers.]
- [Scene: Metropolitan House of Opera. Fry sits alone on the stage in the empty auditorium. He puts his holophonor on the floor and gets up to leave.]
Leela: Please don't stop playing, Fry. I wanna hear how it ends.
- [Fry turns around. Leela is the only person left in the room. He smiles then sits down, picks up the holophonor and plays. The smoke whirls around above him and forms a crude image of him and Leela who turn to each other and hold hands. They kiss, turn around and walk away towards the horizon.]
- [Closing Credits.]
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